After dropping Sejeong back at the place they were staying, she went back to the where the party was, and started drinking. She was contemplating at what Sejeong said earlier.
'Am I really selfish?'
"Dr. Baek are you okay?" one of the staff asked her.
They were observing her and she has been drinking more than a bottle of the gin that they've bought.
"I'm fine… I'm fine…" She replied
For all those years that the three of them have been together, she never saw Sejeong as someone who might fall for her, especially the latter knows that she likes Seju. But maybe, Sejeong was in the same shoes as her… She likes someone who already likes someone else and that person was her best friend… sounds the same…
'So after all, I was just blinded by my feelings for Seju that I can't see the person who was really into me? Who appreciates me, and stays by my side, and I made her feel the same way Seju was making me feel… helpless and defeated'
She took another shot and looked around the place, when she saw a place where there aren't many people, she took a bottle of alcohol and brought it with her. She promised herself that she would never drink any alcoholic drink ever again, but then, with all the revelation she heard today she can't seem to stop herself from getting drunk.
'This would be the last time…'
She drank the bottle of alcohol until she's satisfied. She looked at the dark scenery in front of her and chuckled.
"What the hell!" She screamed and then laughed like a crazy person.
The night is getting deeper and deeper and her body is getting lighter and lighter due to the alcohol in her system.
"Dr. Park, looks like Dr. Baek's already down" one of the staff said pointing over to Rohanne who was holding the bottle of alcohol and sitting, looking at nothing.
Seju thanked the staff for informing her and then went over to Rohanne. She pulled Rohanne up and then started walking with Rohanne; the latter kept looking at her squinting her eyes, confirming the person in front of her.
"Oh! Hey Seju!" She said and smiled from ear to ear. She started poking Seju's nose and then proceeded to caress the latter's cheek carefully as if she was a fragile thing.
"You know… I never wanted to leave you…"
Seju froze when she heard Rohanne say those words.
'It was all a lie…'
She smiled to herself, like she won the lottery, hearing those words from Rohanne makes her heart at ease.
"There was not a single day, week, month, or year, that the thought of you leave my mind. You were actually invading my mind. For the past years that I was away, you never leave my thoughts"
She doesn't know what to say rather, she was thanking the alcohol for making Rohanne blabber the truth.
"Your face, your smile… I remember every detail of it… You know when I first saw you I wanted to do something but I can't"
Rohanne took a step closer to Seju and then wrapped her arms around the latter, engulfing Seju in a warm hug
"I wanted to embrace you like this…"
She hugged Seju tighter like her life depended on it
"I wanted to tell you that you've became more gorgeous…"
With her arms still wrapped around Seju, she rested her head on the latter's shoulder and loosened her hug.
"I wanted to tell you that I'm back, and that I missed you…"
Though She reeks of alcohol, Seju can still smell the particular scent that she have longed for years, she hugged Rohanne back and inhaled the latter's scent that she missed.
She was totally surprised at Rohanne's drunken confession. After all those words back at Rohanne's place. The latter actually missed her.
'For the past 8 years, we did nothing but think of each other…'
"What I said back then was all a lie, I never really wanted to leave you, but I need to…"
She remained silent but then when Rohanne started to sob she broke off their hug and looked at the blonde woman in front of her.
"I'm sorry that I never told you why I have to leave… All I wanted was to be with you"
She looked at Rohanne straight in the eye looking for answers, she wanted to know why she left. She wanted to know what was the real reason why she left them.
"Why?"
She asked but it looks like Rohanne wasn't able to hear what she said because the latter started laughing like crazy.
"I already told myself before that I would forget you. But here I am, like a crazy person, still can't forget about you"
When she stopped laughing, she suddenly ran away from Seju, but the latter thought that it was fine so she slowly walked towards Rohanne. But Rohanne signaled her to stop so she did. The blonde woman was smiling from ear to ear and then placed her hands beside her mouth and started shouting
"Park Seju! I'm going to tell you Something so you should listen well!"
From a drunk stupid facial expression, her expression shifted to a more serious one
"What is it?!" Seju answered back.
"I don't know when it started! But when we were in middle school! Up until now! I've always! Truly!"
She paused for a hot second and then smiled again…
"You've always what?!"
She answered back again, she wanted to know what Yeonhwa felt for her, if they were feeling the same thing or not. If they were on the same page.
"Park Seju! I… I Like you!"
She yelled back, and then a bitter smile formed on her lips.
Seju froze on her place as she looked at Rohanne who was looking at her smiling. Her heart automatically fluttered and the butterflies in her stomach ran wild. She can feel her blood rush to her cheeks. It was like back in middle school when she realized she liked Yeonhwa. She can't remember how, when or where, she just felt that whenever she sees Yeonhwa her heart flutters and the butterflies in her stomach goes wild, just by looking at the woman.
===
February 14, 2007
After going to the amusement park, the two decided to go to a nearby café to pass some time. After ordering the two sat on a table near the window. As they wait for their order Seju can't help but look at the person beside her, watching as the people pass by.
'How could someone beautiful like her frown all the time?'
There were only a few occasions where she saw Yeonhwa smile. And those were moments that she always treasures.
"Yeon, how come you're not smiling?"
She suddenly blurted out that made Yeonhwa look at her with a confused face.
"I smile… sometimes…"
Seju thought of the times when Yeonhwa smiled with her and she can only remember a few occasions.
"Yeah... Sometimes…" She trailed off. And kept scrutinizing Yeonhwa who was still looking at her getting more confused
She was thinking of how she can make the woman in front of her smile. Or even better laugh.
"Would you treat me ice cream if I make you laugh?"
The woman in front of her grew more confused on what she was trying to do.
"Are you high on something? You're acting weird… And I paid for our coffee, why would I treat you more sweets?"
"Then next time?"
Yeonhwa just looked at her with a confused face, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. But she can't seem to read anything and just agreed.
"Fine, I'll treat you ice cream next time, but you have to make me laugh" Yeonhwa said.
After their order arrived Seju's mission started, she needs to make Yeonhwa laugh, like, laugh out loud, so she did her best and shot Yeonhwa with every joke she can think of, even though most of it were really corny.
"You really don't have a funny bone in your body!" Seju said and pouted, she looked at Yeonhwa with her eye squinted and her nose scrunched up, but the latter wasn't looking at her, she was busy drinking her coffee while looking at the people passing by
As soon as Yeonhwa looked at her she almost spit her drink at Seju's facial expression. She chuckled and then smiled.
"What's with that expression?"
She kept giggling while placing her cup down. While Seju on the other hand was mesmerized by how beautiful the woman in front of her is while laughing. Her heart skipped a beat as soon as she heard the giggles from her best friend and when she saw the latter smile the butterflies on her stomach ran wild. The feeling when she sees Seungjae laugh. It was the same feeling, but the difference is that, this time it was so intense. She can almost hear her heart beat in her ears; she can feel her pulse beating so hard.
She watched as Yeonhwa laugh and smile, like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. She watched how the woman in front of her curve her lips up and giggle.
It's like time stopped for a moment for the world to appreciate Yeonhwa.
"God…" Seju mumbled
"What?"
She was brought back from her daze when she heard Yeonhwa's voice.
"Y.. You laughed! You laughed!!" She exclaimed trying to hide the fact that she just stared at her best friend for what felt like eternity.
"Hah~ Yeah, I really did… I guess you earned yourself an ice cream"
She smiled from ear to ear to hear that from Yeonhwa. But the real reason she was smiling from ear to ear was the fact that she saw her best friend smile and laugh. And surprisingly she wanted to see that more often.
She craved to see Yeonhwa laughing. She wanted to see Yeonhwa smile because of her and for her only.
===
As soon as they got back to the place they were staying, Seju supported Rohanne up until the latter's room since the woman can't even take another step after vomiting her guts out.
She placed Rohanne back on her bed and then tended to her. After looking out for Rohanne she checked Sejeong in the room next door. The latter was sleeping soundly. She smiled as she slowly closed the door behind her, she then went to her room and sat on the floor. She picked up one of the many stuffed toys she brought and hugged it tighter.
She thought about all the things Rohanne told her earlier. She felt a sharp pang in her chest with just the thought of it…
'What a Christmas Present…'
She thought that it would go the way she thought it was going, but she was gravely mistaken, she didn't expect it to take a turn like that.
She thought of the things that would happen in the future? What would happen after they go back to Korea? Would they leave everything here and move on from it?
She slowly opened the window of her room and leaned on it. She looked at the stars that were shining brightly. And smiled when she saw the very first constellation Yeonhwa taught her.
"Cassiopeia…"
===
November 14, 2007
After passing some time at an arcade, which Seju greatly enjoyed, they walked back home. While walking she noticed that Yeonhwa was looking at the sky while at the same time walking.
"You're going to bump into someone if you walk like that"
"There's no other people here…"
She rolled her eyes on Yeonhwa and as they slowly walk, she got curious.
'What's up with her looking up? What's so interesting about the sky?'
"What you looking at?"
"I'm trying to find Cassiopeia…"
"Cassio—what?"
"Ca.Ssi.o.pei.a" She said in every syllable so that Seju could follow
"I still don't get it what is Cassio—whatever…"
Yeonhwa chuckled and looked at Seju.
"Cassiopeia is a constellation…"
"I didn't know you were into those kinds of things" Seju said referring to Astrology and the zodiac signs.
"I'm not, Stars and constellations just fascinates me and the stories behind every constellation"
"Every constellation has stories?"
"Of course…"
She then told Seju the story of Queen Cassiopeia and King Cepheus, then told the latter what does Cassiopeia looks like and they both looked at the sky to find that certain constellation.
"Wait… Wait! Is that it?!" Seju asked pointing at the stars that were forming the "W"
Yeonhwa looked at the direction she was pointing at and smiled
"Yeah! You found Cassiopeia!" She said and looked at Seju who was happily looking at the stars
"Hah! I think I have a knack in this kind of thing!"
As if on cue, as soon as Seju looked at Yeonhwa, the latter was looking at her lovingly. As soon as their eyes met, she can feel her pulse getting faster and faster, like she ran a marathon, her cheeks getting redder and redder, but thanks to the night time it wasn't that obvious.
"S-So yeah, tell me more about the stars!" She said trying to hide her embarrassment.
Yeonhwa on the other was also embarrassed for herself, she didn't expect Seju to look directly at her while she was staring at the latter.
"Of course… So…"
They continued talking about the constellations as they kept looking at the sky looking at the stars as they shine.
===
As she was reminiscing her memories from before, she can't help but smile bitterly. Questioning herself.
'If I gave myself a chance back then, then maybe we won't be like this'
She smiled bitterly as she softly treads her fingers on Rohanne's hair brushing it ever so lightly.
"I had the chance before but I ruined it…"
She was startled when she noticed Rohanne move, she saw the latter's eyes flutter as Rohanne tries to open them.
"Seju?" She groggily asked, Seju just smiled and nodded lightly
Feeling assured, Rohanne closed her eyes again and smiled
"Merry Christmas…"
Seju smiled as she watch Rohanne go back to sleep.
"You told me to don't come near you…" She lowers her head and rested it on Rohanne's shoulders.
"How can I do that when all I want is to be this close to you?"