Rohanne didn't notice that she was dazed inside her car even though Seju and Eunji already Left. A ring from her phone brought her back to earth.
"Hello?"
"Rohanne, where are you?"
"I'm already in the parking lot, what is it sunbae?"
"I'm going to introduce you and the new interns to Dr. Kwon, so you better get your ass in here"
"Yeah, Yeah, I'll be there in five."
"Good…"
Rohanne ended the call and got out of her car. Before whenever she goes to work she feels giddy because she gets to see Seju. But now every step feels heavy knowing that she'll see that very person she needs to forget.
She was about to enter the conference room when the daughter of the patient she was tending to yesterday came running to her.
"What happened?"
She immediately asked as soon as they met halfway, the girl just grabbed Rohanne's sleeves as she drag the doctor to her mother's room.
"S-She suddenly had difficulty breathing…" She said as they were running towards the room.
As soon as they entered the patient's room Rohanne immediately checked the patient's breathing. She quickly grabbed the oxygen mask and placed it on the patient's face.
The daughter was panicking while trying to contact her father.
Rohanne immediately took out her phone and dialed Sejeong's number
"Dr. Baek? Where the hell are you?! Chief is starting to breathe out fire here! You—"
"Later! Emergency! Rm 1011! Now!"
After a few minutes Sejeong arrived with Doah and Eunji. They immediately rushed the patient to the OR to perform a surgery.
After a few hours, the four of them came out of the OR to talk to the family of the patient.
"Doc, how's my wife doing? She's fine right?"
He looked at Rohanne with hope and a little bit of worry. Rohanne smiled and assured him that everything was alright.
"The surgery was successful and she will be gong her second surgery next"
He let out a sigh of relief and smiled at the four. But suddenly Eunji spoke
"But she's still in a critical condition. So I suggest you better prepare yourself for what might happen"
The patient's husband and family members almost fainted when they heard what Eunji said. Rohanne and Sejeong just looked at the man.
They were about to go back inside when the daughter of the patient grab Rohanne's arms. Her eyes were already swollen from all the crying, and she looks like she lost some weight from all the sleepless night.
"Doc, please save my mom…"
As Rohanne looked in the girl's eye she can see pain, regret, sorrow…
"Please…"
She knelt in front of Rohanne and the latter quickly bent down to pick up the girl. She was begging for her mother's life. She can't help but see herself in her. She looked so pitiful during the accident. Seeing the child beg in front of her, she was reminded of her desperate and pitiful cries as she begged for her father's life, as she begged for people to save her father.
"Save my dad! Please! He's still alive! Someone!"
Her cries during that incident were still echoing in her head until now. It was a real nightmare. She can't let the girl suffer the same pain she felt that day. The pain that she felt when her father was buried six feet below the ground.
"Don't worry…"
She said as she gave the kid a smile. She has her doubts, but she will save the girl's mother.
"Thank you doc…"
They went back to the Operating room with so much determination. After the second and third surgery, they brought back the patient in her room. The patient's husband looked at them with a hint of hope in his eyes.
"We did our very best and completed the third surgery… But tonight would be very hard for her…. We suggest that you all be ready… There is hope, but it's very slim"
The man burst into tears when he heard what Rohanne said. She tried to look for the patient's daughter but she was not in the room.
Rohanne got out and saw the girl sitting on a bench in the hallway. Even though she hasn't even walked towards the girl she knew that she was crying just by looking at her from the distance.
As soon as she reached the girl she knelt in front of the girl and smiled, the young girl looked up at her with anticipation in her eyes.
"Your mom's last surgery went well…"
The girl's face lit up as she heard the news. Rohanne felt giddy that the young girl was happy but that wasn't all that there is. She wanted to end the news there, but she can't lie to the girl.
"We did our best… But…"
The young girl looked at her with confusion in her eyes.
"But it will be hard for her to get through tonight"
She honestly said to the young girl. The latter started to cry as if Rohanne told her that her mother is going to die.
Rohanne can't help but feel pity for the child in front of her; she can see herself in the girl, she has the same look back when her father died. The same miserable stated when her father was being buried six feet under the ground.
She silently left the girl and went ahead to do her rounds. After her duties, she walked out of the hospital to get some coffee and something to eat, and also she wanted to rest from all the chaos. She walked to a nearby coffee shop to gather her thoughts.
'Guess the saying is true, incidents occur when you're too happy'
It feels like just yesterday when she saw Seju again; she was feeling ecstatic, but now, too much tragedy was occurring on her at the same time.
Suddenly a familiar figure popped in her peripheral vision and sat down on a chair across her, as she wait for her order.
"I wasn't supposed to work today… But an emergency welcomed me after I came back… Just my luck…" Eunji said as he flashed a goofy smile at Rohanne just like he always does back in Canada.
"Sorry I wasn't able to dine with you last night…" Rohanne said as she smile apologetically at the man in front of her.
"It's understandable. You're always a busy person. You didn't change at all" He said still wearing the goofy smile.
"Well, I didn't but you did… fiancée huh? Since when?"
She tried to sound cheerful as she can. She doesn't even know where she get all that strength to act like it was nothing to her. She doesn't even want to know those things because she'll just probably get hurt.
The man chuckled as she shot Rohanne a dazed look.
'A fool in love…'
She used to look like that back then.
"her being my fiancé feels so surreal…"
He flashed a smile like he was the happiest man on earth, and Rohanne won't question why. Having a wife like Seju is like having a best friend and a lover all in one body. She can make any Man or even woman happy.
Looking at her friend's smile eases the pain in Rohanne's heart, she knows that Eunji can take care of Seju more than she can. She knows that Eunji can love Seju more than she can. He can also give Seju the things that she can't give.
A family…
She smiled bitterly
"So how did you two meet?"
'Stupid…'
She felt so stupid for asking those questions. Questions that only multiply the hurt in her heart into tenfold.
"She was my classmate in one of my classes in Uni." He said dreamily, as if he was reminiscing a happy memory
"When I first saw her enter the class I know in myself that she was the one. The way the surroundings blur out as soon as she entered, my focus was just on her."
"Right…" She said as she chuckled. It wasn't meant to be sarcastic; In fact she knows what Eunji was talking about. She experienced it herself.
"You think I'm crazy ain't you?" Eunji said as she glared at Rohanne but the latter just smiled at him "I'm saying the truth Ro, as soon as she entered the room it felt like we were in a movie. And when she sat beside me, dang my heart just fluttered. That whole day I can't get her out of my head" He said as he look at Rohanne straight in the eye.
"So from then you bothered her every day?"
"Well…"
"Well what?"
"I did… Because I already told myself that she's already the one…"
He told Rohanne the story of how he pursued Seju and how they became official.
"So you two have been together for 3 years now?"
"Yeah! And it still feels surreal, I mean the girl of my dreams, is my fiancé now? How's that?"
Rohanne just smiled at Eunji's goofiness
"But to be honest, Seju doesn't really like me all…" He said in a bitter tone and the goofy smile that has been plastered on his face all the time was replaced by a sad smile.
"She only became my fiancée because of business… And if it weren't for my father she wouldn't say yes to me."
"Why?"
"This is just an arranged marriage…"
Rohanne's head snapped towards Eunji, she placed her cup of coffee down on the table as she looked at the man in front of her with confusion.
"How… How did that happen?"
Eunji explained the situation of Seju's family, the company that Seju's father left them was on the verge of bankruptcy and Eunji's father was a shareholder. His father was about to sell his shares when he learned that his son was in love with Seju, the daughter of the owner of the company. So he made a deal.
"So you mean to say that Seju just agreed to that kind of set up?" Rohanne asked looking at Eunji with furrowed brows
"Well… I'm not really sure what she's thinking, I told her that she doesn't need to agree but she said that it was fine. She also made it clear to me that she doesn't have any romantic feelings towards me, but she will learn how to love me over time."
Rohanne was left dumbfounded. She thought that when she left Seju would be okay since the latter was strong enough to handle herself; that she would eventually move on from Seungjae. But she never thought that Seju would be that devastated, to the point that she would agree to an arranged marriage. That she's okay with marrying someone she doesn't love at all.
And as far as she can remember Seju's mom was a lawyer so even though the company would go bankrupt they're not really crumble as a family.
"We go to constant dates and from those I've fallen deeply in love with her more than I first saw her. I learned so many things about her. And I know that she will eventually fall for me too. That's why I wanted to talk to you… I wanted to invite you to our wedding.."
Rohanne's ears twitch as she heard the word wedding. It's a thing she can't give to Seju even if they were together. With all the courage, strength and stupidity in her body, she managed to smile at Eunji. She hid the pain and anguish, the stupidity and foolishness she felt behind that smile.
"Of course I would come! I wouldn't miss your stupid ass get married, It's a once in a life time moment so I'll be sure to be there"
He looked at Rohanne with his eyes shining as if he just saw the most precious thing in his shoe collection. He threw his arms up in the air as if he was a kid given a candy.
"Yes! You're really the best!"
"So when's the wedding?" Rohanne asked trying to suppress her emotions; she smiled as she picked up her cup of coffee and took a sip from it
She can't help but laugh at herself; she was trying to sound so happy for the both of them when in fact she was miserable as hell.
"We're not sure yet since we're both still busy, but we will have an engagement party after the New Year's celebration. And of course you're invited"
He said as he shot Rohanne an expectant look. The latter just smiled at him.
"Of course, If you don't I would gate crash your engagement party"
She gave the man a smile to indicate that she's happy for them. She chuckled at what she was doing
'The hell…'
She would rather kill herself than attend their wedding. But of course she won't do that.
"I'm very happy for you guys…"
She said with in an enthusiastic manner, but the words felt so heavy in her chest. It felt so heavy she can't utter any more words.
Eunji kept talking about Seju but Rohanne can't understand a single thing anymore. The only thing running in her head was how to escape the place. She went out of the hospital to relieve stress but she kept getting stressed.
She needed some air, the wide café felt so small and suffocating for her.
"Ro, are you okay? You look so—"
He was cut off when Rohanne's phone suddenly rang, the latter answered it immediately.
"Hello? Yes? What?! Okay I'll be there!"
She placed her phone back in her pocket and abruptly stood up from her chair.
"What's happening?" Eunji asked as he followed Rohanne out of the coffee shop
"The patient's… She's not gonna make it…"
They both sped off to the patient's room as fast as they can
'She can't die…'
When they arrived the patient's room Sejeong and Seju was already there. Beeping sounds were echoing inside the room as the family of the patient panic. Soah escorted them out of the room and the four of them, Rohanne, Sejeong, Eunji and Seju, were taking care of the patient.
"Her heart is getting weaker and weaker… Her cardiac muscles are also not moving…" Sejeong said
While the four of them were doing all they can the daughter of the patient slipped inside and held her mother's hand
"Mom! Wake up!"
Soah was trying to escort the young girl out but she was holding onto her mother's hand tightly…
"You guys are doctors right?! Do something! Do your jobs!"
The daughter started shouting at them, but she was looking intently at Rohanne, giving her a glare. Soah then escorted the young girl outside the room.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Baek. We can't maintain her blood pressure… In her condition, any method is useless already…"
Sejeong said explaining
The defibrillator caught their attention when the beeping got louder until it reached the flat line. The daughter of the patient looked at Rohanne begging pleading her to save her mother.
Feeling really desperate she ran to the patient's side and placed both of her hands on the patient's chest, and desperately performed CPR.
"No, you're not dying… Not today…" She said as she desperately pump the patient's chest
The kid was shouting her mother's name
"Dad! Dad! Someone?!"
No matter how much she cry. No matter how loud she yell. No one was coming to her rescue. No one dared to save her father.
As she pump on the patient's chest, memories came flashing back like it was a scene from a movie, images of her father were flashing in her head
"Dr. Baek, that's enough…" Sejeong said as she tried to stop Rohanne but the latter was persistent, she swatted Sejeong's hands away from her and placed her hands back on the patient's chest and continued the CPR
"Stop it, she's gone Ro…" Eunji said but Rohanne can't hear a thing, the only thing she can hear was the eerie sound of the machine.
"No… you're not dying… No… Someone still needs you…"
Her hands were exhausted but she didn't care, She kept pumping on the patient's chest.
"Please…"
She tried… but nothing's happening, her rhythm is not going back
"Rohanne!" She was snapped back to reality when Sejeong slapped her on her cheek. "She's gone Rohanne!" She yelled in Rohanne's face but the latter just looked at her but still continued pumping, so Eunji started to pull her away, carrying her away from the patient.
"Time of Death… 2:11 A.M."
'She's dead… Just like my father… just like Seungjae… And I couldn't do anything about it…'
"How shameless for you to show your face here! You killed Seungjae! You killed my brother!"
A voice kept echoing in her head
"No… I didn't…"
"Rohanne? Are you okay?" Sejeong asked but Rohanne was just holding her head.
Her head was throbbing, Images of her father and Seungjae was flashing in her head
"I need air…" she said as she slowly found her way towards the door shoving away the people in front of her.
She brushed her hair on the side trying to massage her head because of the throbbing pain. But then she was surprised when suddenly she felt a sharp pain on her cheek again.
"What kind of doctor are you, if you can't even save one patient?!" The deceased patient's daughter said as she was hitting Rohanne.
Soah went over to them to calm down the young girl but she wouldn't stop.
"I'm sorry…" Those were the only words Rohanne could muster to say.
She couldn't do anything but take all the hit the girl was giving as she kept on apologizing. Her head started to throb again and now it was getting really painful so without thinking twice she ran towards the emergency exit and climbed the stairs. When she got tired she decided to exit the stairs and look around, but she did not expect that she was already at the rooftop.
"What the hell…" She said while she was catching her breath
It was already dawn and supposed to be the lights from the city would illuminate the place but for some unknown reason the place was really dark.
"It hurts right?"
Her soul almost escaped her body when she heard a familiar voice from behind her, she immediately turned around and saw the person she least expected.
"You?"
It was the suicidal teenager the other day. He was standing in front of Rohanne.
"Why does it always end like this, you might ask? That every time you do your best it's still not enough? That they will blame everything to you… Aren't you tired?"
The boy was looking at her intently
"What do you mean?"
She let out a chuckled and smirked, his expression suddenly shifted, he was looking at Rohanne with pity and sadness in his eyes
"Aren't you tired of everything? Of Living? Of life?"
She remained silent, she was confused as hell and her mind was not in the right place. But she thought of the question intently
'Am I tired?'
She thought of every single thing she has done for all her life. And there is one common factor in every one of the things she had done; sacrifice… She was ready to sacrifice everything just to do something right. She can even give her life, or sell her soul.
'Yes, I'm tired…'
She's tired of all the chaos, she's tired of all the things that was happening to her, she's tired of everything. She wanted to run away from everything… but she can't
"I'll wait for it… I'll see you soon…"
The boy turned around and started walking away from Rohanne.
"Wait!"
She was about to chase the boy when suddenly someone called out to her name
"Dr. Park!"
She turned around and saw the person she despised the most right now.
'Why is she here?'
She just ignored her and turned around again to chase the kid but to her surprise he was gone, she tried to look around the rooftop since it wasn't that spacious but the kid was already gone.
"Are you looking for someone?" Seju asked
"Why are you here?" She said as cold as she can, trying to give her a hint that she wants her to leave.
"I wanted to check on you… You suddenly disappeared… Are you okay?"
She didn't answer. She just started walking without even batting an eye on Seju. Yes, that's right, she already decided that she would ignore Seju, she's letting her go
'This is for the best'
"Dr. Baek? Can we talk?"
Seju asked.
'How Ironic… that was the same phrase I told you back in middle school…'
She just let out a bitter chuckle but she kept on ignoring the woman who was following her every step. She was trying so hard to control her emotions not even a single hint of feelings showing in her face. But then she felt cold when Seju suddenly grabbed her wrist to prevent her from leaving.
"Rohanne… please?"
Rohanne looked over her shoulder and looked at Seju with a straight face not letting a single emotion show in her face. They stared at each other for what felt like eternity. She wanted to do something crazy. She wants to hug her, to cry on her shoulders, to kiss her… She wanted to tell her that she was in pain. That she doesn't want to let her go.
"Seju!"
'But I need to'
As soon as she heard the Eunji looking for Seju she held Seju's hands and slowly released her wriest from the latter's grip.
"Please Seju… don't come near me, ever again…" She said as she let go the latter's hand and went pass Eunji who was watching the two of them.
As she went down the stairs she saw a familiar figure
"Sejeong…"