October 17, 2012
"Do you believe in fairy tales?"
Seju certainly heard that phrase for almost a million times when she was a kid. The three of them, Seungjae, Seju and Yeonhwa, would often play, or re-enact some of the scenes that they often read in the children's books about Princes and Princesses. She would often be the Princess and Seungjae would be the Prince.
She did believe in fairy tales before, but as she grew up, she thought that…
"Maybe fairy tales are just… Fairy tales…"
And when she experienced the feeling that was being described in fairy tales, the feeling of love, she dared to believe again. That maybe her Prince Charming was Seungjae; that the latter would take her away from all the pains and suffering. But little did she know that the Prince she was looking was not really the one she truly needs, but rather another Princess.
But right now, as she watch another princess movie with Sejeong, she can't help but laugh at how silly she was to believe in fairy tales.
'Fairy Tales aren't real. Prince Charming aren't real… They'll just leave you eventually…'
"You asked me if we can watch the movie and now you're not even paying attention?" Sejeong said as she looked at Seju who was just staring blankly at the screen of her laptop.
Seju just blankly stared back at Sejeong, the latter looking at her all confused.
"Jeong, do you believe in fairy tales?" She nonchalantly asked. The woman beside her just looked at her more confused than ever.
"What you up to? Did you drink again with the sunbaes? Or did you accidentally drink expired milk again?"
Seju just ignored her friend's questions and attempts of joking. She closed the laptop in front of them and placed it on the table, she then stood up from the couch and sat on the floor and hugged her knees.
"Is this about 'them' again?" Sejeong asked as she sat down on the floor beside Seju.
Seju just stayed silent, Sejeong knew her very well. Sejeong was the one she confided with when she was having conflicts with her feelings. The one who knew everything that happened to the three of them. The one who watched on the sidelines on how their story unfolds. A mere spectator.
Sejeong just let her friend be and just patted Seju's hair, an indication that she can vent out whenever she's ready.
Seju was walking alone in the hallway to her next class, unfortunately she and Sejeong doesn't have the same class for the first semester, so they just see each other during their vacant hours or in the Dorm.
While she was walking in the crowd she suddenly felt like the world slowed down, her focus was only on a single person. As the crowd of people walked past her there was a person who was standing out the most, her peripheral vision blurs out the people passing her by.
That person was wearing a baseball cap and a hoodie; strands of blonde hair were hiding the woman's face.
She slowly walked towards the woman not minding the people she bumps into, reaching out her hand. She can feel her heart beating faster and faster as she walks toward But in the crowd of people the figure suddenly disappeared and her surroundings went back to normal.
'Who… was that?'
She then continued to walk towards her class the blonde woman still in her head. The scene that just happened earlier, felt so…
"Magical…"
===
"Why do you look like the world would end tomorrow doc?" Soah asked Seju who was looking all gloomy looking at a specific person: Baek Rohanne
Soah looked at the woman beside her and the person Seju was looking at, and immediately she knew what's going on.
"So let me guess…"
Seju still wasn't budging; she was intently looking at Rohanne who was checking up a patient.
Rohanne can feel a shiver up her spine but she just shrugged it off, and continued to smile at her patient, while explaining the results.
"It's Dr. Baek isn't it?"
As soon as Seju heard the name she quickly stood up and denied it.
"No!"
"Yeah, it's definitely Dr. Baek. You're so obvious Dr. Park" Soah said as she make Seju sat back down "So what's up with you two? Just a few days ago you two were okay, and now you're ignoring her"
"It's just that…"
Seju thought about what she saw earlier. She doesn't even know why she was ignoring Rohanne just because the latter didn't tell her that she was with Sejeong. Rohanne and Sejeong are close after all so what's up with her feelings?
She let out a disappointed sigh and stood up from her chair.
"Nevermind, I'll just do my rounds"
Soah just looked at Seju, as the latter walk away
"Developing feelings for someone really is dangerous…" She mumbled as she looked at Rohanne who just finished checking up the patient "Especially if you're already in a relationship…"
After doing her rounds Seju was about to go back to the lounge to rest when she passed by Doah's office, and she felt the urge to talk to her.
She knocked on the door and slowly opened the door. She saw Doah signing some papers. Not batting an eye on her.
"Dr. Park? What are you doing here?" Doah said still not batting an eye on Seju, after signing the last paperwork she placed her pen down and looked at Seju.
"I don't remember calling for you"
Seju stood in front of Doah's desk as she looked at her boss.
"Ahm, Chief… I just want medical guidance?" She said in an unsure tone
"Medical Guidance?" Doah said in a curious and interested tone. Seju rarely comes to her office for Medical Guidance, usually the latter goes to her office to get scolded.
She looked at Seju in a curious way urging her to ask her question.
"What do you call it chief, when a woman in her mid to late 20's has shortness of breathing with fast heartbeat and heavy feeling when she sees a specific person?"
At first Doah just looked at her, like she was asking. She then removed her glasses and closed her eyes; she massaged her temple and sat straight. She was taking it seriously more than what Seju expected.
"Are we talking about you?"
Seju just nodded. Doah covered her mouth using her hand and rested her elbow on her desk, she looks she was thinking deeply about the matter.
"You should know it Dr. Park. You're a doctor, can't you diagnose that yourself?" Doah asked as she looked at the younger girl in front of her. She knew that it would come to this
"To be honest Chief, I don't even know how to diagnose these. I don't understand what's happening at all. I can't breakdown the elements of what I'm feeling right now." Seju said honestly.
Doah can't help but smile, she hid her smile behind her hands and when she was composed she asked Seju.
"So these symptoms occur every time you see this specific person?"
Seju just nodded at Doah's question. The latter looked at her seriously as if she was staring into Seju's soul. Then that serious look was replaced by a teasing smile.
"It's a really common illness nowadays, but I'm not sure which of the two it is. I'm pretty sure It's one of the two" Doah said in a serious tone yet teasing approach.
"One of the Two?" Seju asked visibly confused on what Doah was implying
"It's either you're angered… or…"
Doah paused for a second to look at Seju's expression; the latter was anticipating the next answer from Doah.
"You're in love…"
It's like reality slapped Seju in face real hard when Doah mentioned the word 'Love'. Love the word she fears the most.
In Fairy Tales Love is always the answer or the end game, but for Seju, it's not. The things that love brings are only pain and suffering. Fairy Tales aren't real.
"I'm not sure what you are feeling towards Rohanne…" Doah trailed off when she saw Seju flinched as she mentioned the name Rohanne; the younger woman's eyes were as wide as it can get.
Seju must admit, Rohanne had been bugging her system, and her mind lately, and just recently her heart.
"But based on your reaction, it seems like love is the best diagnosis."
Seju doesn't know what to say, rather she can't think of anything to say to deny Doah's claims.
'Love?'
Seju questioned herself; her heart that belonged to someone already is beating for another person? Her heart that has been beating for someone even after many years…
"You need to put your feelings in check, Seju…"
Before completely exiting the office Seju stopped her tracks when Doah spoke.
"But whatever that is. Don't forget that Dr. Kwon is still in the picture"
Just at the mention of that name makes Seju froze. She hadn't forgotten.
"I know Chief…"
She said and exited the office
As soon as Seju left her office, Doah let out a heavy sigh.
"I warned them…"
She wore her eyeglass back and continued working on the paperworks on her desk.
===
November 21, 2008
It was just a normal weekday for the trio; they're just walking leisurely towards the stall where they usually buy some tteokbokki. They were already on their way home when while buying some snack someone comes up to them asking if Yeonhwa was a model
"Huh? Me?" Yeonhwa asked the woman while pointing at herself
"Yes, even though you're just wearing a normal school uniform your perfect proportions are showing and you're tall" The woman said
The woman was in her mid to late 20's and is wearing casual clothes, and a DSLR camera was hanging around her neck.
Yeonhwa was indeed tall and she was athletic, that explains why she's somewhat fit.
Seungjae and Seju were just watching as their friend gets recruited. The woman gave Yeonhwa a calling card and smiled at her.
"Here's my calling card, we also do commercials, It's just a one-time shoot we just need a new model for the clothes and the brand, and we'll compensate you fairly, so if you're interested just give me a call, and also your friends can join you too"
She inspected Seungjae and Seju. The two was also good looking and it wouldn't surprise Yeonhwa if they got recruited as well.
The woman gave the two a calling card too and before going she asked for their names that the three gladly gave.
"Holy crap! We got recruited!"
Seungjae exclaimed as he took a bite from his tteokbokki. The two got really all excited over the recruitment.
"Should we?" Seju asked Rohanne, her eyes were sparkling while she was looking at her friend
"Why are you asking me? you two got recruited as well so if you guys want to, you can give her a call" Yeonhwa stated as she finish her tteokbokki.
"But you were the one she noticed not us! We just got recruited because she saw you first! If it weren't for you then we won't be noticed" Seungjae retorted
The two were looking at her with sparkly eyes, asking her to try it even once. And Yeonhwa being weak for a certain person said yes
"Yeah!" Seungjae rejoiced as he saw Yeonhwa nod her head
"You're not regretting this Ever!" Seju said as she hugged Yeonhwa
===
Seju haven't seen Rohanne for the rest of the day, she was purposely avoiding the woman. But she didn't expect it to get to the point where she won't see the woman. And she doesn't know why on earth she expected the woman to come woo her. And in the first place why is she even angry at the woman?
'The hell what's wrong with you Park Seju!'
While she was getting her stuff from the locker she saw the paper bag that contained Rohanne's coat and the clothes she borrowed last time.
She felt guilty as soon as she saw the clothes that Rohanne lend her. She was wondering why is she even angry at the woman when Rohanne haven't really done anything to her.
She leaned her head on her locker and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath as she hold her chest.
"The hell is wrong with you?"
Her heart that was just supposed to beat for one person, but it was doing somersaults for someone else. And to be honest she liked it… She likes it when Rohanne makes her heart flutter. She likes it when Rohanne look at her with a smiling face. She likes it when Rohanne held her hand. She likes it when Rohanne looks at her and only her…
But that can't be… She's not supposed to like those things…
"Fuck Feelings…"
===
November 23, 2008
After they called the Photographer, they were invited by her to her studio. It was just a simple studio with equipment in it and a couple of helpers, but they can feel the professionalism in the atmosphere.
"Oh I thought there were three of you?"
The woman asked as she let Seju and Yeonhwa roam around the studio
"Well…"
"Our friend had to attend to something important" Yeonhwa said as an excuse but in reality Seungjae is grounded, for sneaking out at night with his brother.
"Ah I see, I guess we had to make little changes on the concept for today… Anyway there's the changing room, inside that are the clothes it's already numbered so you just need to wear it according to the number"
The woman said, Seju and Yeonhwa was about to get inside the room but Yeonhwa was called by the photographer
"Ah, Yeonhwa wait!"
"Yes?"
"Uh I don't know if you're comfortable with this but…" The woman paused for a bit getting a bit flustered and shy about her favor, but Yeonhwa just listened to her "Since your guy friend isn't here I was thinking if you could do his part?"
Yeonhwa just looked at the woman in front of her still processing the thought
"Pardon?"
"You just need to wear these clothes and be Seju's partner. You're more suited for this because you're taller and your built really looks like of those male models" The woman explained
"I'll do it"
"But if you're uncomfortable we ca—wait, what? You'll do it?" The woman looked at Yeonhwa, who looked back at her with determination.
Yeonhwa just nodded her head; the woman in front of her smiled brightly and gave Yeonhwa the clothes that Seungjae was supposed to wear.
She immediately changed into the clothes that was given to her and went out as soon as she was finished. Seju was already starting to do her poses and the photographer really likes the emotion Seju was giving.
Yeonhwa can't help but stare at the woman. She kept thinking that maybe fairy tales are true, because the woman in front of her looks like a princess from one of those fairy tales
'If Fairy Tales were true she would be a princess…'
"Staring is rude"
She heard one of the staff say behind her, so she looked over her shoulder and saw a man wearing a cap and a hoodie with the name of the studio. The man just smiled at her and urged her to come over where he was.
"The camera loves her… come here, look at this" The staff said as he pointed out to the laptop where the photos were processed. "Even though her angle seems a bit off she still looks elegant and beautiful"
And Yeonhwa definitely agreed, the woman was definitely a princess
"Good Job Seju!" The photographer said as she was smiling looking over at Seju's photos "you can change to the next outfit" The photographer said "Yeonhwa it's your turn!" She called as soon as she finished checking the pictures.
Their photographer gets carried away the more Seju and Yeonhwa show results making her give them vague concepts for each shots.
"The camera really loves them…" She mumbles as she scanned through the individual shots of the two. Even though Yeonhwa was a woman her physique was that of a male model, and her face was androgynous, if she weren't wearing a skirt that day the photographer would've thought that she was a man.
After a couple of shots and other outfits, some praises here and there, it was time for their group shot.
"Okay now, I want to see this vampire scene like in Moonlight where Edvard was about to bite Ella's neck!"
Seju and Yeonhwa tried to do the pose but they were having some trouble finding the right position so the photographer guided them.
"Seju sit on Yeonhwa's lap and Yeonhwa support Seju's back using your right hand, and put your left hand on her shoulder"
The two did as the photographer said, Seju sat on Yeonhwa's lap and the latter supported Seju's back. The two were visibly uncomfortable especially Seju, who was thinking that maybe Yeonhwa was kind of burdened with her sitting on the latter's lap.
"Am I heavy?"
She mumbled but Yeonhwa didn't say anything so Seju was still stiff, she was very uncomfortable with their position, and she can almost feel Yeonhwa's breath on her neck even though the latter wasn't that near her.
*click*
"Get closer… Seju look at the camera and give me that 'Fuck-ya'll-he's-mine' look"
Yeonhwa leaned in closer to Seju's shoulder making the latter shudder; she can feel Yeonhwa's hot breathing prickling on her neck. Making Seju have trouble doing the photographer's request
"You're not heavy…" Yeonhwa said before staying still
The woman sitting on her lap became flustered and their position isn't helping either. But she became comfortable with those words from Yeonhwa; she let herself sit comfortably on Yeonhwa's lap, and did the photographer's request with ease.
"Perfect!"
*click*
"Seju put your hands on Yeonhwa's nape and tilt your head a bit more and look at the camera. Like you're giving her access to bite your neck"
*click*
"Closer…"
Yeonhwa leaned her head closer to Seju. The latter felt like all of the hairs on her body just stand, Yeonhwa's hot breath just gave shivers up to her spine.
"Show your fake fangs more Yeonhwa, You have a prominent jaw don't worry!"
After a few more shots with that pose they were asked to stand up.
"Okay now I want to see emotions. Show me something like 'I-don't-want-to-lose-this-person-ever' something like that. Just look at each other with full of emotions!"
Her staff just shook their heads and chuckled at their boss's requests
'She's really giving them vague ideas…'
The two just looked at each other with questioning looks
'…? How would we do that if I'm the only who's afraid to lose her?'
Yeonhwa chuckled at the thought and did something Seju wasn't expecting
'This is how much I don't want to lose you, Seju…'
Yeonhwa held Seju close to her body and leaned her head down near Seju's face looking straight into the latter's eyes.
Her eyes are saying a thousand words, all of her hidden feelings, all of the things she wanted to say, all of the things she wanted to do. If only Seju can see those.
Seju on the other hand felt like her heart was going to burst. She can feel the butterflies in her stomach getting wild, her heart doing a somersault for the nth time and her body feeling warm.
She looked up at Yeonhwa and stared back into the latter's eyes like she was looking right into Yeonhwa's soul. She held the latter's chin to make it look like she was making Yeonhwa look down at her.
'I wish we could stay like this forever… Close to each other'
Yeonhwa thought as she look directly into Seju's eyes, trying to convey all her feelings, hoping that Seju would take at least a small hint of how she feels.
The staffs that were looking at the photos that were produced were in awe as they see how the two were like a perfect fit for each other.
"Oh my God! Perfect!"
*Click*
*Click*
As they watch the shoot progress the photos feels more and more like a
"Fairy Tale…"