The next few weeks fall into a steady routine. I breeze through school, eat dinner with my family, and then I run as many miles as I can in the evening just to rub it in Hayden's face.
We've only had a few sessions so far, but I half expected to know how to fight by now. Not fight, exactly, but at least know some moves that would help me to defend myself. A block attack here, a karate kick there–something that might ease my mind a little. But all Hayden has me doing is lifting weights and jumping rope. Still, I know better than to question him; he doesn't strike me as the type to take it well.
On Monday after school, I meet him at the gym, as usual, making sure to get there on time so as not to piss him off–which seems all too easy to do. I wait until the very last second to go in and then charge up the stairs in unmeasured excitement. I would never admit it, but this whole training thing is so new, so unlike me, that it fills me with this strange sense of anticipation.
I stand at the door and watch as Hayden sets up the last few things for our session: weights and a jump rope. I let out the quietest sigh. Hayden, upon hearing this, turns and fixes his eyes on me. Sometimes, it surprises me how someone so beautiful can cause such damage to somebody's face.
"You ready?" he asks.
I nod and then wish that I hadn't. He has me jumping rope for twenty minutes straight, and by the end of it, I am so exhausted that I lie flat on the mat, completely out of breath. Hayden towers over me, his eyebrow cocked in what looks like amusement. I resist the urge to roll over and cover my face. I probably have three chins from this angle.
He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. I reach into my bag and pull it out, spotting Jamie's name as it flashes across the screen. For a quick second, I think about ignoring it. Then I glance up at Hayden to see him watching me carefully.
I clear my throat before pressing accept. "Hey, Jamie. Everything okay?"
"I'm fine," he says, sounding concerned. "I'm just worried about you. I haven't heard from you much today. Where are you?"
"Sorry," I say, acutely aware of Hayden listening to every word. "Today's been kind of hectic. I'm just at the gym."
"Oh, sorry! What time are you home?"
I glance at my watch. "In around an hour. I'll Facetime you as soon as I get in, I promise. Before nine."
He sounds relieved. "Okay, love you."
"Love you."
I hang up and turn back to Hayden, who is watching me with the most critical expression.
"What?" I ask.
His mouth lifts slightly, but he doesn't say a word.
"Seriously, what?" I repeat.
Finally, he speaks. "I take it that was your boyfriend?"
"Yes," I say cautiously. "Why?"
He smirks before helping me get to my feet. "Sounds like he's got you on a tight leash."
I furrow my eyebrows, acutely aware of his hand still gripping my wrist. It feels warm and solid, and I'm certain he can feel the way my pulse is pounding through the inside of my wrist. "No, he doesn't. He just cares about me is all."
Hayden stares down at me with a knowing expression. "It's probably been, what, a few hours since you last talked, and he's calling you because he's worried? Sounds more like he's checking up on you."
I raise an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, am I paying you to train me or be my relationship therapist?"
He smirks again, because this is what he wants. He wants to get under my skin. "I bet you haven't told him about our training sessions," he says.
I swallow hard, hating the look in his eyes. "No, not yet. I mean, it's not a secret or anything. I just haven't got around to it yet. We've only had three of them."
The tiniest smile suddenly plays on his lips. "Like I said. Tight leash."
I fold my arms and give him a scowl. "My stitch is gone. Can we get back to training now?"
Hayden smiles like he's won some kind of battle, but I don't care. He can think whatever he wants about my relationship, it doesn't make any difference. If it weren't for me wanting to learn self-defense, I wouldn't be here at all.
By the time I get home, it is late. Too late to call Jamie. Dinner is cold and left out on the stove, but I'm too tired to heat it up. Instead, I get out a mismatch of ingredients from the fridge: yogurt, a slice of cheese, a glass of milk, and cucumber. Then I carry it back to my room and nibble away to some reality tv.
For some reason, I can't concentrate. I can't seem to forget about what Hayden had said about my relationship with Jamie. It's ridiculous. Jamie hasn't got me on a tight leash at all. He cares about me, he wants to make sure I'm okay now that we're miles apart.
If anything it's sweet, not suffocating. And what does Hayden know? From what I saw of him at that party, he's not in any position to be giving relationship advice. But as much as I dislike him, I need to grit my teeth and bear it if I want to make any headway. He's the only chance I've got at silencing my inner demons, so if that means putting up with him a little while longer, then so be it.
The next morning, it's like I'm a new woman. I feel lighter somehow, less weighed down by the chains of my past. Maybe it's because I've gotten my third session out of the way, and I'm certain that by the fourth, I will have learned something useful. Maybe because life with my aunt and uncle is actually relaxing. I don't have to worry the way I used to back home; I'm completely and utterly stress-free.
I spend the school day hanging out with June. She's not my usual type of friend, but she's nice to be around. Optimistic, but not too optimistic. Friendly, but not overbearing. We share most lessons, and she catches me up on all things to do with my new life here in Cali.
At one point, when I'm standing by my locker waiting for her, I see Hayden move towards his. He's with a couple of other boys who I see him with often, and usually, he breezes right past me as though unaware of my presence, but not this time. This time, he turns and pins his gaze on me.
For a second, it's like I stop thinking. Stop breathing. I don't know why, but he has such an intensity to his stare that as soon as it's on me, it's like I can't think straight. Then, just as quickly, he's continuing to his locker and I'm left staring after him.
A/N
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