I stand in front of the mirror for a good fifteen minutes, wondering if this is a mistake. I want to make an effort because Aunt Lilly and the others have been nothing but nice to us, but a part of me, a big part, is certain I shouldn't go.
My reflection stares back at me. I'm not usually one for skirts and dresses, but I'm wearing a nude dress that cinches in at the waist, hugging every curve. My hair is down for once, cascading down my back in long, glossy curls. I might look ready, but I certainly don't feel it.
My phone buzzes with a text from Jamie. I tell him what my cousins are forcing me into, and he tells me to have fun. With one last look in the mirror, I head downstairs to where Olly and Dylan are waiting.
"If I'd known you'd take this long, I–" Dylan stops speaking when he finally looks at me. He takes in my dress before his eyes travel up to my face. He clears his throat. "You finally ready?"
I nod, and we catch an uber to East Riverly, where the party is. Olly and Dylan spend the whole ride talking about some football thing while I try not to turn back around.
We finally pull up to what must be Alyssa's house. The place is gigantic–no surprise. Everyone in Riverly seems to be made of money: Alyssa Class is no exception. We stroll through the front garden, where water shoots from fountains either side of the lawn. Beautiful rose bushes line the side of the walkway, coiled in white fairy lights. I scan the Spanish balcony overhanging the top floor, where several people are grinding on one another.
It's far from how Jamie and I would normally spend our Fridays. I'd usually go over to his house and we'd sit cuddling in bed, ready for a movie marathon. But here, I doubt the idea of a movie night sounds appealing.
I suppress the parts of me telling me to go back home. I don't necessarily want to be at this party, but I don't want to be known as a 'square' for the rest of my time here, either. I turn to Olly and Dylan, but they have already disappeared into the crowd. Considering the number of people here tonight, I probably won't see them again, either. I follow some of the others into the open-plan living room, where I'm handed a glass of champagne by what looks like a hired waiter.
I'm about to decline with a polite, "No, thank you," but it is already being shoved in my hand. I clutch it tightly as I explore the house, feeling slightly awkward. Any minute, I'll bump into either Olly or Dylan and it'll look like I actually have friends. I hope.
I take small, intermittent sips of my champagne to look busy. What I'd give to be snuggled in bed Facetiming Jamie right now. Why do I let Dylan talk me into these things?
At some point, I make my way upstairs in search of a bathroom. By now I've gulped down three glasses of champagne, and I'm left with the sudden urge to pee. Finally, one of the several doors lining the hallway opens. I glance inside, expecting to find a toilet, but it's not the bathroom, it's the bedroom.
For some reason, the size of the double bed looks far too tempting. I hurry inside, collapsing onto the bed like a starfish.
"Hey."
Something hard shifts beneath me. I lift my head, but it's so dark in here, it's hard for my eyes to adjust. I blink a few times, and then I'm just about able to make out the outline of a hard, rippled chest. I pull back farther, allowing his face to come into view. Sharp jaw, pillowy lips. I slowly make my way up to his eyes–green, piercing, and all too familiar.
"Oh no," I whisper.
Hayden sits up with me still on his lap. I almost roll off, but his hands grab my hips to keep me steady. For a second, even though I know I should move, all I can focus on is the warmth of his hands as they lock me in place.
I'm about to say something, to offer some kind of explanation as to why I am straddling him, but when I open my mouth, the words fall away. He just looks so beautiful sat here in the dark. His features are softer when they're dusted with shadows, his green eyes less intense. We sit like this for what can only be a second but feels like forever.
"What the hell?"
I'm shaken into action at the high-pitched voice. I glance at the window, where I suddenly spot a blonde in the process of stripping to her lacy pink underwear. I glance back at Hayden, horrified, but he just raises an eyebrow like he's curious to see what I'll do next.
I shake away from his grip and stumble out of the bedroom, running back into the safety of the hallway. Oh god, that was bordering a threesome. I stumble back downstairs, using the wall to steady me.
"Hey, it's you." I look up from the floor to find June towering over me in a little black dress. "You enjoying yourself?"
Despite wanting nothing more than to get out of here, I'm relieved to see a familiar face. "Not really," I admit. "I just walked in on Hayden Walker and some girl about to have sex."
June let's out a tinkly laugh, grabbing me by the arm. "God, I swear he only comes to these parties to find his next victim. Usually, you can't tear him away from that stupid gym."
My ears perk up. "What gym?"
She lets go of my arm, taking a sip of her drink. "The one his family owns downtown. He pretty much runs the place with the help of some of his friends. You on your way out? It's so early still."
I glance at the door. So close, yet so far away. "Um, no. I was just going to get some fresh air."
June smiles. "I'll come with. I need a smoke."
I let June lead me out into the front gardens, where several groups of guys are stood smoking and laughing. I just want to go home and call Jamie at this point, but I know if I want to fit in here, I need to make the effort.
"Hey," June says, flagging down one of the guys closest. "Can I borrow your lighter?"
He turns and flashes her an easy grin. "Of course, beautiful." He pulls out his lighter and looks at me, his smile growing bigger. "Hey, you're the new girl, right? Nice to see a new face around here. I'm Jason."
I smile tightly. "Nice to meet you."
He comes a little closer, stopping just in front of me. "So, where'd you move from?"
"New York."
"Ah, a big city girl. I like that." I try to smile, but he moves closer as he says it, resting a hand on my arm. "You enjoying life here in LA?"
"I haven't really done much yet," I say, trying to move away. "I'm sure I'll like it, though."
"Well, I was born and raised here," he says. "I'd make a pretty excellent tour guide."
I glance at June for some kind of support, but she is too busy talking to one of the other guys. "That's really sweet of you, but I promised my cousins they could show me around."
"No worries," he says. "Maybe sometime I'll give you a private tour."
I force a smile and turn to June. After a few minutes, I follow her and some of the others back into the living room. June throws her arms around the neck of the guy she was talking to. I glance around to see everyone is dancing or grinding on one another.
In the distance, a beautiful girl is sat on one of the sofas, surrounded by people fawning over her. She tilts back her head, her golden hair flowing across the front of her white dress, and she lets out a loud, hearty laugh. How is it that some girls make fitting in look so easy?
"That's Alyssa," Jason says, and when he steps forward and puts his arms on my waist, I freeze. He moves his face to my neck, his breath hot against my skin. "The princess of Riverly, or so she thinks. Wanna dance?"
I jerk my head to the side, recoiling away from him. "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend."
His grip is so tight, my efforts to leave have no impact. "It's just a dance," he says. "Is your boyfriend really that controlling?"
This angers me enough for me to say, "My boyfriend isn't controlling at all."
"Then what's the problem?"
"The problem is, I don't want to dance with you."
"Oh, come on." He grabs my wrist and yanks me towards him.
For a second, I close my eyes. I'm transported back to that night a few weeks ago: frozen, afraid, and completely and utterly powerless. Tears burn my eyes, and suddenly Jason's grip loosens.
"What's wrong with you?" he asks, backing away.
I ignore him, pushing through the crowd and back out into the open, where I lean over a rose shrub and try to catch my breath. I thought I was over my life in New York, I thought this was a fresh start, but I'm starting to realize I will never escape those demons–not unless I find a way to silence them for good.
I catch an Uber home, still shaking and hating myself for overreacting, but any kind of touch leaves me terrified. When I finally get back, I send Dylan a text to say I hadn't been feeling well, before I collapse onto my bed.
I spend the next few minutes silently crying. Then I sit up straight and grab my laptop before opening the lid. I'm not going to be afraid anymore. I'm not going to be weak. I type in Hayden Walker's name, and it's not long before the location of his family gym shows up. I'm going to take back control of my life.