My room was a mess.
Mess is an understatement but no words could do justice honestly. My sister and I had spent time pulling out my stuff. What to pack and what needed to stay home. I would, obviously, sneak a few things past her. I had to remember though that certain things couldn't enter the states. I would most probably have to ask my mom to transfer them for me…would it get by then?
Hopefully. A few things had been bought earlier in preparation. New shoe's, clothes, suitcase, lots of certain products since I wasn't sure if they sold them where I was going. Euriel had made sure I got my hair sorted out despite me telling her I prefer my afro. we had both gone to get the latest phones and few gadgets.
Though for Euriel she had worked up enough money using Forex, I had to use my last bit of inheritance. It wasn't easy convincing my mom to let me spend over R40000. It was honestly crazy but luckily the rest of the money would return to investment. While I studied and worked abroad, I would ensure that more then half of my earnings was transferred to my mother's account so that it could be taken straight to investment.
That way when I returned after a couple of years, I would have a house, a car of my own and maybe even a business. I needed to ensure that everything went right. That I did right on my father's name. I needed to make sure that I could also publish a few pieces of my art, maybe even my books. If it still works, I would have failed myself and my family.
"Jeez your room." My sister whistled as she pushed the door wider to enter since my stuff put a bit of force on my door.
"It will be mostly empty when I leave. Your most probably going to move back in here there rent out the back room." I joked
"Definitely." She laughed then shook her head. "As if mommy would let me use her baby's room. It hasn't sunk in yet that your leaving. I'm waiting for the part where you scream, you're joking. Like you usually do." She said as she sat next to me and cradled my head on her chest.
"I'm waiting for life to do the same, Inno, I'm waiting also." I whispered staring at the mess before me.
"Do mommy proud Elihle. Do her so freaking proud that she forgets at times that she's alone." She murmured
"That's almost impossible. If I miss him almost every single day. I can only wonder what she feels."
"You almost did it."
"No. I've only began." Taking deep breathes we both wiped our tears and smiled at each other. Before turning to see the main mission. Freaking packing. It wasn't like travelling home or to my grans. This was leaving for a year possibly two being back for two weeks then leaving again. For five years I would be doing this.
"Help me." I puffed
"Obviously. Knowing you. You'd only pack rubbish." She huffed as she stood.
"Let's do the most before your mother gets home and scolds us for not finishing. Julis and Caroline are probably with the kids that side. So, it's only us until they come in." she said as she moved around picking up certain clothes and throwing the ones that made her frown to the corner. "I'm so glad you bought new underwear's."
"What's that supposed to me?" I asked with a shocked expression.
"You know exactly what I mean." She said.
We had spent nearly three hours debating and packing. The rest of my sisters had joined us after an hour. It wasn't easy since we all had different persona's and ideas. Yet it seemed like they were forgetting that I was the one leaving and not them. I didn't mind though.
These memories were being photographed and saved, both figuratively and literally. I needed to remember I left on a good note, I left happy and for a good reason. As for the pile of clothes on the 'rejected' corner, they were now to be for rest of them. Sly bit-
"Girls!" my mom shouted. "Ni lapi!?" (where are you)
"In the room!" Julis yelled back.
As soon as she entered her eyes began to water but she smiled. she couldn't fool anyone of us though. We all felt the emotion we tried to ignore. That sadness. With my mom I fully understood. I was the last and only child from my dad. I reminded her of him but leaving. It was like losing him all over again.
I couldn't stay any longer. I couldn't defy my dreams anymore because of memories. I needed to breathe again. They didn't know about the pain I felt inside and outside this house. The many ghosts that still haunted me…it was time for a true fresh start.
"Did they send you the package?" she asked after a while. Trying to cut the tension.
"Yeah." I croaked. I stood and pulled out the brown thick envelope. Opening it, I pulled out my Passport, Visa, a few documents and another small envelope.
"My new number will be handed to me as soon as I arrive." I continued as I passed my stuff to her.
"Remember to write down every number of ours that way you don't forget. As soon as you get the new number. You call or send us a voice note not just a message." She instructed.
"Yebo Mama." (Yes mother) I groaned. Knowing this was the 100th time she informed me but even she knew, it wouldn't be enough as being able to rescue me like she used to in times of trouble.
I would be utterly alone.