Every day was a routine. It felt like I was stuck on a carousel, turning around and around forever.
There wasn't much someone could do behind locked gates, but we made the most of it. Only the soldiers were allowed to leave the compound, and they kept news about what was out there secret. Some of the "people from the neighborhood spent their time going through training with the soldiers, but none of them had been trusted to go on a run yet.
To preserve supplies, we gathered all the food from around the neighborhood and worked in shifts to organize and ration the food. Other ladies organized events because they thought it might be nice to have something to distract us. They had good intentions, but I didn't see the point. Why were we still trying to make life "as normal as possible"? Nothing about this was normal.
I would have never gone to any of them if it weren't for my friend, Vivian. She'd been my best friend my whole life and had made it her mission to make sure I was okay. Whenever I felt like falling off the deep end, she was there. She was gorgeous, with auburn-colored hair that fell just below her shoulders and bright blue eyes. When we stood next to each other, it was like I was invisible, which I think was one of the reasons we got along so well.
She and Noah were close while he was here, and everyone had been waiting for the day that they started dating. Before all this, I did nothing other than school and seeing Viv. Now she was dragging me to various dinners and forcing me to volunteer places. I tried to complain as much as I could because I knew she was hurting about Noah, and she needed to feel like she was useful.
"Did you hear about the dinner tonight?" Viv asked as we walked back from our shift at the storage room. "No, I didn't." I'd already gone to a bbq earlier this week, and I hated being out late at night. All I wanted was to go home and lock my doors, "You know how I feel about this shit, and the dead haven't changed that." She looked down at her feet, and we continued walking. It was only a few minutes before she decided to bring it back up, "Norah, this won't be like the rest! Moses Winters will be there." She giggled and nudged my shoulder. Moses was from our high school, and he hadn't been very popular, but he could have been if he wanted to. He was one of the best-looking guys I'd ever seen, like at a celebrity level. Most of the girls were obsessed with him, but he kept to himself. His hair was chocolate brown, and its curls framed his forehead. He was taller than most of the people who walked down the hall beside him, and he carried a book everywhere he went. He never cared about anyone around him, and sometimes I'd catch myself staring during class. It was just something about him that I'd never seen before.
"Maybe I'll go, maybe." Vivian laughed and pulled me into a hug.
When we got there, the room was already crowded; and we squeezed through people to grab a drink. I stayed behind Vivian and tried to stay as unnoticed as possible. I decided that I'd wait around for a while and sneak out when she was distracted. Someone grabbed Viv and pulled her away. I stood awkwardly alone by the drinks table. Scanning the room for anything to save me, my breathing quickened, and I felt my hands beginning to shake. I hated when this happened. My whole body would go numb, and it became impossible to think clearly.
I felt a hand tap on my shoulder. I jumped and turned to face Moses Winters. "Hey," he said, "I'm sorry if I scared you." He looked worried, and I knew that it was most likely because I looked like a scared puppy. "You were all alone, so I figured you could use some company." I laughed nervously, "I looked that miserable?" He grinned back, "A little." His eyes crinkled when he smiled, and they were so blue it felt like I was getting lost in the ocean, floating aimlessly into nothing. I felt a shiver run through my spine when he looked at me, and I'd never been good at conversations, but I felt like my mouth was being held shut. "Look, I know we've never actually talked before, but I'm uh- sorry about your family." He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his feet. "Oh, well, thank you. That means a lot..." My voice trailed off. I didn't like it when people gave me sympathy or their "apologies"; usually, they didn't mean it, and it wasn't like it was their fault.
I forced a small smile at him, our worlds had always been separate, and they still felt miles apart. I didn't know too much about him, other than he'd bounced around between foster homes most of his childhood. I'd overheard some girls in the locker room saying he had scars to prove it. I understood having a shit life growing up, but I'd never had gotten hurt like that. My mom took the brunt of it, and she'd hide Noah and me in the closet when our dad was in a rage. "Norah, I wanted to say that um-" before he could finish Vivian, came up from behind and grabbed his arm. "Moses! I didn't know you were going to be here!" She giggled. "I should go." I nodded a goodbye to the both of them, and Moses looked conflicted between Viv and me, but she grabbed onto him and pulled his attention towards her.
I found my way outside and into the fresh air, and I took in a deep breath, letting it sit in my lungs. The silence was refreshing, and I welcomed its company.
I turned the corner onto my street, and I noticed a light on in my window. I instantly put my hand to the knife in my pocket. Holding it tight in my grip, I slowly crept up the porch steps as silently as possible. The front door that I was sure I locked was open. The smell of cigarettes was pungent, and I followed it to the living room. When I walked in, I saw the General sitting in the armchair with smoke in one hand and a bottle in the other. He got up when he saw me, "What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded. "Slow down there, just making sure everything was okay." His words slightly slurred together, "You know it's dangerous for a girl to be out alone this time of night?" He stepped closer, and I moved backward. With every step I took, he took two. My back hit the wall, and the smell of his breath was thick with alcohol. "What do you want from me?" I