"Tell me everything!" Amelia shouts, her hangover forgotten.
I don't know what to say to her. My head is spinning. What did just happen? One minute I was stumbling over my words like an idiot, the next he has me pinned against the wall, his tongue invading my mouth. I faintly recall him asking me to be his girlfriend. Did I say yes?
The warmth in my chest and the flutter of my heart answers my question. I really have a boyfriend. A high-pitched squeal leaves my lips.
"Girl, you need to tell me all the deets now!"
I stay silent for a moment, collecting my thoughts. Should I tell her everything or keep it vague and PG?
Deciding to go all the way, I part my lips and the words gush out like a damn breaking in the middle of the ocean. "It all happened so fast. I walked out of the bedroom, as you demanded, to him making breakfast." My thoughts halt. Breakfast! I rush over to the stove, all the flames are shut off. The breath swooshes out of my chest. When did he shut them off? Picking up a piece of bacon, I bite into it. Perfectly crunchy and chewy in one bite. Just the way I like it.
Taking the bacon out of the pan, I place them on a plate and onto the kitchen table. I do the same with the eggs. Grabbing two cups and juice from the fridge, I set them on the table.
"Let's talk about this over breakfast. I'm starving."
Amelia nods, joining me. We pile our plates with food. "Where did I leave off?"
"He was making breakfast."
"Right. Okay, so, he was making breakfast. I remember smelling the food and thinking how much I wanted to eat it, but after last night I needed to talk to him. I felt like we had a connection, like the puzzle pieces connected last night. I may not have known him for long, but it just feels so right being around him. Since I met him, well, not exactly. After our first few meetings and we came to get to know each other, there is just something about him that has always been different. Like I'm drawn to him. I think about him.
"He has this secret spot that he brought me to, a couple of times now, and I swear Amelia, I could imagine spending the rest of my life there. With him. There is this weeping willow next to a small lake that I was reading under. He sat next to me and it was so calm and peaceful; a serenity I never wanted to lose."
I take a small break, catching my breath and taking a bite to eat before getting back into the "deets" from this morning.
"Anyways, so this morning, I saw him and I needed to talk to him and see if he felt the same way. I tried to talk to him, but all I was doing was rambling and stammering through my words. Finally, I think, he understood what I was trying to say. He admitted his own feelings to me and then asked me to be his girlfriend and go on a date with him tonight at 7."
"That's amazing, Rose! I'm so happy for you. I knew last night would be good for you, I just didn't expect you to already have a semi-relationship with a hot guy."
I feel the need to explain after her response. I didn't want her to think that I didn't tell her about Damon and me because I didn't want her to know. "Honestly, it was never like that. I knew what I thought of him and I liked our routines and his presence. But I didn't realize what I felt for him. I just thought it was constantly having someone around me to share some of my adventures with. I figured the pull was because of him teaching me to drift in his car and taking me to his - our - special place. I never thought it would have been my feelings towards him that went beyond being more than friends. Does this even make sense?"
She doesn't speak for a minute, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Let me see if I got this right. I'm assuming you both didn't like each other when you first met. At least you didn't like him." When I nod in affirmation she continues, "but after spending more time together you started to develop feelings that you misunderstood as being one you would have for a friend." I nod again. She copies my action.
"What do you feel for Brandon?"
Surprised by her question, I don't know how to respond.
"I mean, do you like Brandon the same way you like Damon?" She clarifies.
This I can answer easily. "No. Brandon was nicer when we met. Damon was an absolute jerk. But Brandon never made my heart speed up or my adrenaline to roar through my veins. He never made me wish a single moment would never end because it was so perfect."
"If Brandon had a secret spot and taught you how to drift, would you like him better?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure if I can answer that." I eat another piece of bacon, deep in thought. Would I like Brandon if I shared those experiences with him? I think back and my gut feeling tells me "no. I would not like Brandon the way I like Damon even if he did have those experiences with me. There was always something about Damon that made me want to be near him. Maybe it was the mystery that surrounded him or the bad-boy-I-don't-care aura that surrounded him. Maybe it was the way his eyes seemed to look inside of me. He makes me feel vulnerable but strong. Little, but on top of the world. Everything is conflicted when I am with him and I wouldn't want it any other way. He makes me happy. He makes me live."
"Rose…" Amelia hesitantly starts, "I don't want to freak you out or anything, but do you love him?"
My heart stutters in my chest, I rub it back to normal. Do I love him? No, it's not possible. I've only known him for a month and even though it has been one of the best months of my life, I still don't know everything about him. What if I don't like how he… sleeps? Shops? Handles kids? There is no way I could love him. I just realized I liked him!
She pulls me out of my confusing thoughts. "The way you speak about him is like you have just had fresh air in a world that was polluted. You don���t realize it, but your eyes twinkle when you think about him and you have a small smile on your lips when only his name is mentioned."
"I can't love him. Not yet. Amelia, I have only known him for a month-"
"I have seen people fall in love in less time."
"- and he has a past that I don't know the full extent of. And I don't know his routines or daily habits. What about his friends? I have never met any of them. Or- or his family."
Even to my ears, I sound like I am grabbing at straws. Would it be bad to fall in love with someone so quickly? We spend almost every day together and he knows when I need a break. He knows my habits, my school and work schedule. He cooks for me because he knows I can't. He tries to help me in my everyday life in ways I never noticed. How have we gotten so close in such a short amount of time?
"If you say you don't love him then you don't. Just be careful not to stay in the denial stage for too long."
A shadow crosses her face. Is she speaking from experience? I want to pry, but at that exact moment, her eyes jump up to mine and a mischievous glimmer shines bright in them.
"Is he a good kisser? Was it sweet and slow, or fast and rough? From what I saw, you were both ready to rip each other's clothes off right in the kitchen," she winks at me.
Reminding myself to ask her about what she meant earlier, I respond. "He took me by surprise, but I can't lie and say I didn't like it. I did like it. A lot. Probably more than I should have. If you both didn't walk in, I don't know when we would have stopped. He was tilting my chin up to ask me if I would be his girlfriend. When I said I would, his lips just crashed on mine. I don't know when it got so hot and heavy, but I really liked it. His hands were caressing my body as his tongue was caressing my own. He kept asking for more and more from the kiss and I was giving him everything I had, taking just as much from him. It wasn't slow and tender, but in a way, it was more passionate. We were as close as we both wanted to be in that moment. We were in sync."
"Ah, I remember those days."
The same glimmer appears in her eyes. Opening my mouth to ask her about it, she shakes her head in a silent "please not now" and changes the subject.
"When is he coming to pick you up?"
"Seven."
"Ok. That gives us nine hours. Why don't you take a shower and I will get a movie set up? After that, we will get you all beautified for your first date?"
Just thinking about tonight makes a huge grin spreads my lips. The similar nervous, but excited combo comes back with a tenfold. Shakily, I breathe out. "Sounds great."
"Perfect. Go shower. Don't forget to shave." Another wink.
Walking away, I hear her laughing. I can't help but join.