He stopped giving us rides for a few weeks after that night. He always seemed to disappear from everyone's radar when he was angry. Thankfully, my mother had let me use her car while she was out of town with Dad. He had gotten transferred to a neighboring state, so they were house shopping. They had promised they wouldn't move until after I graduated and gave me the option to stay behind with Amy if I wanted to since I was so close to eighteen.
Oh, I thought about it. I entertained ideas of a life with Darren while attending the community college in town. But deep down, I knew I had to go to university for my degree. I had already applied to and got accepted to several of the last few months. I ultimately chose the college near my Dad's work so I could live with them while going to school. You know, the money saving plan. It was a good idea, right? Besides, I figured the days of being a lovesick teenager pining after my best friend's brother needed to come to an end. I needed to grow up and move on. It was fun while it lasted, though. I enjoyed teasing and annoying him.
Amy and I stayed over at my house for graduation night. We had a party there for our friends that lasted into the wee hours of the morning. By four a.m., the last of our guests had gone home and we chose to clean up before going to bed for the day. "I can't believe we're done." She stated simply. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the realization that our childhood was officially over, her eyes spilled forth a myriad of tears. I held her as she spent her emotions. "Why are you leaving me?" she pleaded. "Why can't you just stay here."
"I want to." I admitted. "But I start university in the fall. I got to get settled and find a job." I stroked her hair as she cried. "You could come with me."
She pulled back. "I wish I could but..."
"But what?"
"Eric," she paused playing her fingers. "Eric asked me to marry him at the party tonight."
"What??!!! Oh my god! So soon? That's awesome! Where's the ring? Did you say 'yes'?"
She dug the ring out of her pocket and put it on. It was his class ring. "It'll do for now," she smiled. "I was just hoping you'd be there with me. You know like a 'maid of honor'. I can't imagine having a wedding without my best friend there."
"Oh my god! Of course, I will. I'll make sure I'm there. I promise. When is it?"
"I don't know yet. We still need tell our parents. Promise you won't say anything. Not yet?"
"Promise." I wiped tears from my eyes; some of happiness for my friend, some out of envy as I so desperately wished I could marry Darren.
A week later, our parents collaborated on hosting a going away/graduation/wedding announcement party for Amy and I. Everyone we knew was there, including my dark-haired, blue-eyed 'Adonis', Darren. As soon as I saw him walk in wearing a Skillet tee and faded blue jeans, I forgot how to breathe. The shirt was a little small, making it hug his physique in all the right places. His job had certainly helped his body fill-out in all the right ways. His hair had reached his shoulders and he had all, but a few stray waves locked up in a ponytail at the base of his skull. His signature work boots were showing signs of wear and though his jeans were faded from age, they hugged his hips perfectly. I could feel my heart race as my veins fill with fire. So much for growing up and moving on.
"Geesh, Erin, why don't you go talk to him; instead of ogling him like a piece of meat?"
"God, Amy! You scared me." I said embarrassed for getting caught checking out her brother, yet again.
"Seriously, Erin. What've you got to lose? Y'all are leaving tomorrow. It's not like you're gonna see him again anytime soon." Suddenly the reality of the move hit my heart and it threatened to shatter.
"He'll be at your wedding, won't he?"
"That's a year away. A lot could happen between now and then."
I hated when she was right. "Maybe I will, then." I hugged her, then walked over to where Darren was standing with his friend Rocky. "Hey," I squeaked higher than expected. They both turned in my direction. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Hello." I said more normally.
"Hey," they said in unison.
"Congratulations on the move, Erin. You've gotten into a good school." Rocky offered with a smile. He was man of average height, long, coal black hair just past ear length and deep black/brown eyes. I always thought he was a beautiful man, like most men from India were. There was just something about them that made them irresistibly attractive. Unless, of course your heart already belonged to someone else.
"Thanks," I responded kind of sheepishly. I jabbed my hands in my pockets and looked up at Darren, feeling my heart melt as my eyes met with his deep blues.
He looked down at my feet and worked his way back up to my face. "Hey," He muttered. Glancing towards the tables, "Isn't that your dad, Rock?"
Of course, he looked. We all did. I didn't see his dad anywhere. "Yeeessss! Yes it is. I'll see ya, man. Later, Erin." And with that, Rocky left us alone.
"You look really pretty today, Erin." He offered.
"What? I'm not 'kid' today? Must be moving up in the world." I smiled.
He chuckled. "Still jailbait."
"Still an old man."
"Shut up."
"Look," my hands up in surrender. "Truce."
"Truce." His hand in surrender as well.
"I'm glad you could make it. I hoping to see you before I had to leave."
He looked away, "Yeah, um. I can't stay long. I have to work in the morning."
"That's okay," I said looking at my feet, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. 'Pull it together, girl. It's just a guy. Just Darren. You're moving on, remember? Say your goodbyes and be done.' I straightened my shoulders, willing my tears to remain hidden. "We leave tomorrow, anyway. It's was still good to see you tonight. Not sure when I'll get back for a visit, so..."
He turned his attention back to me with misted eyes or maybe they just looked misted through my own disobedient tears. "Hey, you okay?" He asked touching my shoulder. I was not prepared for the electricity his touch would send through me and instinctively jerked away. "Sorry, I didn't mean..." he began.
"No! No, it's okay. Really." I sucked a breath to try to regain some composure. I failed, the tears came whether I wanted them to or not. I had never cried in front of him before and I felt like an idiot crying then. He wrapped his arms around me and held me until my tears were spent. He smelled like fresh laundry and though his body was rock hard, it was comfortable. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. But life. That stupid four-letter word that marched merrily on whether you wanted it to or not. Tears spent, I pulled away apologizing for getting his shirt all wet.
"I've grown used to you leaking all over me," he quipped with a smile. Oh, that stupid smile. With those stupid, pouty, kissable lips. "You okay, now?"
"Yeah," I lied. "I guess it just turned out to be harder to say goodbye than I thought it would be. You know?"
"Yeah," he almost whispered. "But hey, it doesn't have be goodbye, right? We're friends online, right?" His eyes widened a bit before he corrected his statement. "I mean, all of us here, are your friends online, so you'll still be connected to us. All of us."
"Yeah, there's that." I agreed. "It's just a big change. Not sure how ready I am."
"You'll do fine." He leaned over and kissed my forehead, setting it aflame. "If only you were older." He whispered with a sigh.
"Older than what, Darren?"
"Nothing. It doesn't matter."
"Older than seventeen? Because I will be in a month."
"Seven weeks." He corrected.
"Seven weeks, huh. You keeping track?"
"Maybe."
"And here I thought I was just your little sister's annoying friend, unworthy of having my birthday remembered.
"C'mon, Erin," he ruffled my hair. "You know you're more than that."
"Am I?" I quirked an eyebrow at him. He smiled that sexy, seductive, stupid grin of his and my knees nearly buckled.
He straightened as his face turned serious. "I gotta go," he said. "See ya later, Erin."
I couldn't stop myself. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I ignored the fire in my veins, the jelly in my legs, the screaming voice inside my head telling to stop and stepped as close as I could get to him. Face to face, my heart stilled as my cheeks flushed. 'Forgive me Lord, I'm about to get as stupid as stupid gets.' One hand still on his arm, the other reached behind his neck and pulled him into me. I pressed my lips gently against his fully expecting him to recoil or push me away like before, but he didn't. He took my face in his hands and pulled me deeper into the kiss. My world ceased to spin in that moment; the noise of the party faded as my heartbeat thundered in my ears. More! I wanted more as I pressed in. God, he tasted so good, like... 'popcorn? Really?' I didn't care, I wanted more of him. But... 'Erin, stop being stupid.' I pulled away, breathless. Fingers on my lips to ebb the heat of the kiss. "I'm so sorry," I gasped. No, no I'm not. I want to do it again. "I don't know what came over me." ' Yes. Yes I do. I'm totally lying to you right now. I love you!'
He took a deep breath seemingly to steady his own nerves. He looked around the room wide-eyed before focusing back on me. "It's okay. I'm sorry too." He offered a half smile. "I should have known better than to... I mean, you are just a..."
"Don't you dare!" I warned.
He smiled mockingly, "...kid." Nothing cools me off faster than that word.
I slapped his arm. "Old man." I mocked knowing nothing cools him off faster.
"Jailbait."
"Tease!" And with that he left the party. The next day I left the state.