I want to leave this cruel reality i'm living in already, Nothing good comes out even socializing at school
It's so tiring! it's so sickening!
My name is Akirayama Takeo i was considered a prodigy at a young age, People always expect the best from me, it's putting stress and too much pressure on me
They don't know what it's like, i wanted to end it all long ago when 3 years ago when i was still 12... but i didn't "Aniki! Let's play Gamestation After dinner!" I smiled at my little brother and patted him on the head "Sure! You don't stand a chance against me!" I playfully laughed
Mom then smiled at us "Now now! Let's eat!"
I enjoyed being with my family since they don't expect anything from me
But the school is another story
"it's that mr goody two shoes again"
"Mr perfect's early today what a bother"
"I wish he could just die already!"
"Ugh that fucking snitch"
Stop it! Shut up! SHUT UP!! "SHUT UP!!!" I accidentally snapped in front of so many people
I tried to run away as fast as i can.
Everything's there just to humiliate me, i sat against the handrails on the rooftop, i peered down and saw people passing by, the smell of the water flowing down the river next to our school feels kinda relaxing i thought
I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and sketched the scenery, for once i felt i was at peace.
A week passed. i do the same thing before first period i immediately go to the rooftop before classes just to observe the surroundings, the moment i opened the door to the rooftop
I saw a few of my classmates... the few that terrorized me since middle school up to this point "look guys! It's Takeo!" One of them ran up to me
"We were waiting here just for you!" The girl with the long black hair exclaimed "Come here!!" The boy with the baseball bat exclaimed then the other member is just sitting there staring at me menacingly.
"What do you want!?" I said with a pissed tone
The boy with the baseball bat punched me in the gut and kicked making me slam against the rails along the rooftop
"Hey hey! Kuga san! I have an idea!" The girl whispered to the meathead of the group
he smirked at me as the other guy knocked me out
The next thing i remember is i was stripped and was tied up on the rooftop
Naturally nobody'll come for me.
Several days passed after that incident i grew even more antisocial since images of me looking like that was spread across the campus
I can't live with my shame back then but now i just don't even wanna live already...
"Takeo? Dear? Is everything alright?" My mom asked in a worried tone
I tried to sound positive "Yep! I'm just reviewing my lessons so i won't be left behind while i'm still ill!"
"That's wonderful... please join us for dinner later, your brother's worried about you" she's really worried about me just shutting myself in suddenly
Even back then i never shut myself in...
while i was laying in my bed i heard another knock "Aniki? It's Tobio! Are you in there? Can i come in?"
I stood up and opened the door, the light creeps into my dark room and saw my little brother standing in front of my room "what is it?" I asked
"Mom and i were just worried you know..." he held onto his arm and looked at me straight in the eyes "why are you letting those guys make fun of you?"
I was so shocked from what i heard i almost lost my balance "w-what are you talking about?" I asked
He headed to his room but before he entered be looked back and said "Aniki I still believe in you!" he smiled at me and shut his bedroom door
[A/N: Aniki means Big bro... PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG TWT]
I went to my study table to finish my assignments in advance since i felt slightly motivated...
"Why am i like this" i opened my drawer and the noose was gone
"Tobio probably took it..." i laid my head on top of the desk contemplating. "i hate it..."
[Another week passed]
I gather my energy to attend the school again! "We're off to school!" we shouted at the doorstep
"good luck!" Mom and sent us off with a smile on her face
"Mom's the best!" Tobio exclaimed with a huge smile on his face "she cooked me fried pork belly today without the veggies! Hehe"
I smiled at him parting his head "you're such a kid"
"I'm not! I'm already 13 you know!" He angrily said
I laughed it off
The moment i step onto the campus, the feeling of people's gazes penetrating into me is overwhelming
*hey look it's the exhibitionist*
*ha! Nutsack bitch*
*foreskin brat*
*exhibitionist!*
*masochistic brat*
I tried to remain quiet but "WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU PEOPLE?!" Tobio snapped
I patted him "it's fine Tobio i'll be fine" i smiled at him "B-but!"
"I'm gonna be fine... i'm your big bro!" His face spells out disbelief and anxiousness
I continued walking to the shoe lockers and ignored people's whisperings about me, i can take this much but.
When i opened my locker insects,bugs, came crawling out, and even a dead rat was already decomposing in there
I looked around, they're all laughing at me...
I went to the utility shed and took a broom a dust pan and a plastic bag, when i stepped out the 3 ganged up on me again but this time the quiet one is plotting something at me, again.
"What do you guys want?!"
Kuga grabbed me by my collar, obviously pissed off "You fucking trash! How dare you speak to me like that?!" He threw me across the room "Ack!"
The bitch interfered "That's enough Kuga san... you're so strong!" While clinging onto his arm
*tch* "what a bitch" i exclaimed
She got pissed
But this time their third member kicked me upwards sending me flying to the table "Ack!" I exclaimed in pain "You piece of shit... Nora, Kuga... let's go. I dont wanna be associated with garbage"
"You're pretty lucky today, trash" meathead spat on me before leaving
I tried to hide my bruises using bandages but my face is kinda messed up i sighed "nothing i can do about this now..." the 1st period bell rung
But since i'm already like this might as well head home "after cleaning my locker..."
[2 hours passed]
The gym teacher guarding the gate doesn't even look at me... and when he does he looks at me like some worm.
He didn't even minded that i was skipping classes
I walked passed him and heard him whispered "Know your place... trash"
I didn't minded him one bit.
I headed to a convenience store first to buy some ointments to treat my bruises, while i was heading home i spotted a girl sitting on a swing wearing "The academy's uniform?" I walked up towards her
I sat on the swing beside her "He-" before i even speak she already interrupted me "Shush... i'm observing the nature Mister Akirayama"
She brushed her hair to her ear revealing her face, A glasses wearing beauty is what i thought to myself "I-i I just wanna ask what are you doing here during class hours"
She snickered "I should be the one asking that but since you already asked... the same reason as you..."
i felt a chill run down my spine "what do you mean?" She flicked me in the forehead "Ow! I have bruised all over! you know!"
She chuckles "I know... it's such a shame you never got to know me even though we're in the same class" i looked at her with a shocked expression "We-" she places a finger on my mouth shutting me up "shush now! Follow me... your mom'll scold you anyways if you come home out of the blue right?"
Who the heck is she?!
[In a cafe]
I was staring at her annoyedly "who are you..."
she looks at me while sipping on her iced coffee "I'm Sung Ji-ah, but you don't need to know that since i'm not attending school anyways"
I sip from my coffee while we're chatting
"Say i'm such a cute girl aren't you bewitched?"
"What makes you say that?!"
"Nothiiing"
"Hey that's weird as hell!"
[walking down the town]
"Say... you're also living in these parts right?"
"Yeah"
"Oh so you know that creepy old man?"
*laughs* "people said he's gone insane because of his Intellect"
[at Takeo's house]
"Want to come in?"
"I'm gonna be late for my curfew y'know" she looked at her wrist watch
"So that's a no?"
She smirked "who said it's a no" she barged into my home and shouted "I'M HOME!!!" I was so shocked i covered her mouth with my hands "OY! What the hell's wrong with you?!"
Mom then walked towards us from the kitchen "My My... Takeo's all grown up!" She walked towards me and whispered "When did you two had your first kiss?"
I instinctively pushed her away "My my... who might you be?" She asked
"My name's Ji-ah Auntie" while bowing
"I'm not that old y'know!!!" They both chuckled
"Takeo... why do you have so much bruises? What happened?" She asked worriedly
I replied "i just fell from the stai-" Ji-ah shut me up "he was being beaten up by the students in our school! TAKEO! HOW COULD YOU LIE TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT?!" Ji-ah slapped me "i'm sorry but that has to be done!"
She bowed to mom and then left
Mom waved goodbye to Ji-ah, and then looked at me
"Would you like to talk about it?" I looked away from her, then the Door bursted open "MRS AKIRAYAMA?! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
A bunch of police officers came in "It's about your son please come with us immediately"
Mom asked me to stay in the house, but i insisted to come
We were riding the police vehicle and mom was anxious "mom?" She glanced at me and put up a smile "yes dear?" I turned to the window "nevermind..."
We reached a hospital and a police escorted us at the "basement? Wait isn't that the morgue?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!" Mom snapped and began demanding like a lunatic "I CAME HERE TO SEE MY SON!! WHERE IS HE!"
The police restrained her "ma'am please calm down or we'll be forced to use this" the police brought out a taser
The police inside the morgue lifted a white blanket
I felt a freezing chill ran down my body, mom's skin turned white as if she saw a ghost "I-it can't be..."
the police asked "Is this your son ma'am?"
Mom looked with a shocked expression "It can't be..."
The police told us about the incident "he died from a freak accident this afternoon, witnesses said that he was following a couple around town"
"I-it can't be... THIS HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE!!!" I looked through the glass again to see the body, "THAT CAN'TBE MY BROTHER!!!" I broke down crying to the floor
[At the police car]
"How will you afford the funeral Ma'am?"
Mom looked at him with a soulless eyes "we'll cremate him... it's cheaper"
I can't even utter a word
Few weeks passed
"Mom i'm home!" The silence is weird today... even though mom was busy distracting herself these past few days today was a bit off, she didn't even greeted me
"Mom??" I was looking around the house
Then when i opened Tobio's room... i screamed out loud "AHH!!!"
Mom was hanging using the noose i kept that Tobio took from my drawer...
Another day passed... i'm the only one who managed mom's funeral, i'm also the one who mourned for her
"I'm off to school..." the silence fills the house the moment i left... as usual i went to the rooftop to observe the surroundings "this was all my fault... if i wasn't so petty and such a pushover they wouldn't have died"
I stood at the other side of the handrails, left my shoe in the other but when i glanced back i saw a familiar figure "Are you sure you wanna do that?" I ignored her and just stared at the ground "There wouldn't be any place for you in the heaven you know"
She said while smirking "i don't care" she leaned against the handrail beside me "well suit yourself" she pushed me off
"I'm doing you a favor" she winked, it's the last thing i saw before i saw my life flashed before my eyes