Part of me wanted to smash my dumb alarm clock into tiny little pieces when it rang at 4:00 a.m. I know 4:00a.m is really early but I really needed time to gather up the energy and will power to get up and I also didn't want to be late for my first day of junior year.
I really didn't get up till 5:30a.m. I just laid in the darkness and prayed a little.
I had already planned my outfit the day before. It was a green cropped shirt I designed myself, a pair of high waist denim jeans and flat brown sandals.
Then I did my braids into what I like to call "The Eternal Bun."
It's just a normal bun, but I never style my hair differently so, yeah. Eternal bun.
In case you haven't guessed I was really excited for my first day of school. Not because of friends or learning. It's cause I was one more year closer to leaving this town.
I couldn't wait.
It's not that I hated this town I just didn't like the people who live in it.
Wow.
That sounded harsh. But it's true. My town was filled with mean, annoying, slightly racist weirdos who misquote Bible verses and couldn't handle anything that was even slightly different from what their tiny little minds knew.
Before I went downstairs I crossed off today's date from my calendar.
I really was counting down the days to leave.
I went downstairs to make breakfast for myself.
By breakfast I mean some left over pie.
I left a note for my mother to let her know I had gone to school. I put in my earphones and listened to I Look Up To You by The Lake while I quickly cleaned my bike.
When I started riding I listened to Today and Tomorrow by Grace Vanderwaal.
I like to ride my bike to school. It's the only time I've been able to be truly alone lately.
~~~~~~~
For a small town, there were a lot of teenagers. My school felt so crowded. On my way to my locker a group of girls said hi to me but I pretended like I didn't see. I just didn't like the energy I had to use to fake a smile and say hi back.
When I got to my locker I was greeted by the only one of my friends I like. Juan Diaz. Is it a bad thing to not like your friends? Cause I sure as heck don't. They're all so pretentious.
Juan isn't like that though. He's real.
"Yo. G.", he said.
"Hello", I said.
"Hello? Is that all you have to say? I don't see you all summer and all you have to say is hello."
He's so dramatic sometimes.
Juan went to Cuba for the summer to visit his grandparents. I didn't miss him though. He didn't let me. He sent me so many photos of himself and his grandparents.
I bowed. "Oh forgive me your majesty for I have offended you."
He raised his hand. "It is okay peasant you have been forgiven."
We laughed so hard.
You know that one person that no matter what could make you laugh and feel like everything is going to be alright? Well, for me, that was Juan. He was like the older brother I never wanted but was glad I had. He was my first friend. Which is sad cause we had only been friends for two years. It's not that I didn't try to make friends. I really did. But, when you live in a town like mine, if you're not like everyone else it's really hard to make friends and I was a really weird girl. In addition to that, my eyes were green. Green for crying out loud. And I'm black. How is that even possible? It was like I was sent to my town to be different. No one wanted to be friends with the demon
girl with green eyes.
So, yeah my life was sad. That's until I met Juan. He was a foreign exchange student from Cuba. We were partners in biology. He refused to dissect the frog but, I honestly was happy to give the sad frog the sweet, sweet release of death. I guess he liked my outlook on life cause after that, he never left my side. At a point I felt like he was following me. It was weird but, made me feel good. We've been friends ever since.
The bell rang so we had to say bye till lunch.
~~~~~~~
I was at art class. It was my favorite class. I didn't even mind that it was the only class I got summer assignments. I was just finishing up a drawing I had been working an all summer for my assignment. We were to interpret our favorite things into art. I interpreted my favorite song To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra. It was a house with a woman climbing up a tree and her daughter following her. The house looked like it was turning into dust.
At the back of my drawing I wrote then lyrics to the song in cursive.
I was so proud of it. It was the best artwork I had ever done. And I had done a lot of good artwork.
I never really wanted to be an artist I just was it was one of the many things I poured myself into so I could ignore all the bullying.
The deadline for the submission of my project wasn't until the next week. So, I decided to show Juan before I submitted. I knew he would say it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen even if it looked ugly. So I kept it in my locker.
~~~~~~~
At lunch, I had forgotten all about my project. So, I sat down at the table with Juan the rest of my "friends". Joanie, Martin and Gabby.
The only reason I was friends with them is because of Juan. They're some of the many people who bullied me from kindergarten till middle school because of my eyes. But, when they wanted Juan to be part of their little group, he made sure they knew we were a package deal. Then it was all water under the bridge. Let's all forget about the years of emotional trauma we put Green through. Cause that definitely doesn't matter anymore.
I sat down beside Juan. Obviously.
All they could talk about was their fabulous vacations. I just tuned them out.
I spent my summer looking for the perfect college to go to and I did. Pacific University in Forest Grove, Oregon. It was perfect cause it was a small university, within my family's budget and most importantly far, far away from my town. I know it's weird to look for a university at the beginning of junior year but, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect when it was time for me to leave. I also spent my summer designing outfits for school and helping out at our local hospital and helping my mother when I could. My father made it a case never to take me on expensive vacations.
"No daughter of mine will be spoiled", he said. Weird old man.
"Green? Are you listening?", Joanie tapped me.
"Um, you said something about Hawaii."
"Yeah", she said and continued talking.
~~~~~~~
After school, Gabby invited me over to her house but, I said no. I just wanted to go home.
Juan followed me home. I rode my bicycle and he walked beside me.
"I just want to make sure you get home okay", he said.
He's such a good brother... I mean friend.
We talked about school and our summers. I didn't tell him about Pacific University though. I didn't know how he would take me wanting to go to a different college than him and I really didn't want any drama today. I'd just tell him tomorrow or... On second thought I'll tell him when we graduate. He'd be too excited to be mad at me.
When we got to my house I told him to come inside. There was no one home. My father is always away on business trips and my mother owns a bakery. Best pies in town. I don't have any siblings but I did have a bunny. I named her Quality Benedict Cumberbatch the first. I know. It's a weird name. I guess the weird name giving thing is hereditary. I call her Qually for short. She was white but, had a black tail. Weird like me. I loved her as much as I loved Juan.
Juan decided to stay with me so we could do our assignments together. By the time we finished it was only 5:00p.m so we decided to watch a movie. Juan picked Stargirl cause he knew I love that movie. I could literally recite all the lines from that movie and I did but Juan didn't mind. He said I reminded him of Stargirl. I took that as a compliment cause I love Stargirl.
We sat on the floor of my room and he gave me this huge bear hug like big brothers do and we a stayed in that position till the movie ended.
Was I a bad person for never wanting him to leave? He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I mean, he liked me just for being me. He never ever talked about my eyes cause he knew I was insecure about them. He watched Stargirl with me more than twenty times just because it made me happy. Thinking about my friendship with him made me want to cry. Cause I really didn't know how sad my life would be if I hadn't met him. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but, I really did want him to stay forever. But, I knew even though everything stays it eventually changes. And with my luck I knew it was almost always for the worst. I guess I just didn't expect it to change so suddenly.