If you find a new look now,would you keep the old one?
She led me through the corridors of the house and we finally stopped in front of a brown wooden door, she opened it and I came face to face with an office which I think belonged to Mr. Anderson. I followed her and took a seat which she offered me, she then sat across me facing me and just kept quiet until I decided to break the silence.
"Kathy I know you still don't believe me but I am really sorry for what I did and I very much regret everything. I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but I really want to meet my son and apologize to him and you again for everything I did, I don't want to be away from him and let him call another person dad."
I looked at her and she was staring back at me, her mind away from where she was. I think she was debating with herself whether to listen to me and give me a chance. At this point I really could not blame her, I am the one who brought all this upon myself, if I was in her shoes I would probably be beating myself over this but here she was calm, not ready to kill me like I thought she would I talked to my sister before coming here and she and mother kept wishing and hoping she would beat me up.
Her anger, I cannot tell since she has not yet spoken back to me but I do hope she gives me a chance with Kyle and probably with time I may have her back in my arms 'Dear God listen to my prayer and forgive me for everything I have done to this woman sitting in front of me', with that I turned to Kath.
"Kath?" I called her; at this moment I was anxious and feared whatever she would say.
"Ummm...I-I actually don't think I'm ready to forgive you but I can understand what you feel about Kyle but I'm not sure I want to tell him after everything you did and neither do I want to be selfish and let son suffer for it later on. Honestly, I'm confused."
"I can't say I know how you feel, but on my part, I know that I am not ready to lose either you or Kyle and I am willing to fight for you again Kath I just need your forgiveness and a chance " I answered her
"What are you saying, I thought you are here to talk about Kyle, what all this about me forgiving you and giving us a second chance?" She asked confused
"Yes Kath, I mean what I just said, I want not only Kyle but you too. I know I made mistakes in the past and I have paid for them in the past 4 years, regretting everything. Kath, I want you not just as the mother of my son but the one woman in my life, my love, my wife and I am willing to start a new, I have changed" I said sighing because the look she had on her face told me everything.
She is not ready to give us a chance, she stood up from the chair and went towards the window and stared outside. I saw a smile forming on her face and it sparked my curiosity as I wondered what she was staring at.
I also walked towards her and I also grew a smile, outside the house was everyone including my friends playing with Kyle's dog I think, a German shepherd. One could tell that they were having so much fun and Kyle was laughing so hard. This is what I want, to see everyone in my life happy, the thing I had destroyed four years, I really want all this and the person next to me is the one who has the final say.
"You see that man there is the one who helped me when you decided I was nothing more to you, without him I don't know what would become of me and our son. He picked me up when I was down and helped me become the person I am today, he never once thought of me as nothing more than his daughter. I was an orphan trying to survive on my own and Seb, we met three years ago and two years later he lost the only person he loved and cared for so much, his mother. He was broken, the loss of his mother took a toll on him but luckily tiny Kyle brought a smile on his face and the same man that took me in did so to him and we became his family. For Seb, Kyle is important to him and would not tolerate it when my son is in pain and I'm thankful for that since I know he is and will be the best uncle, but for you to come back here and tell me you are sorry I don't think it will change anything. You said it yourself I was your conquest, I am sorry I ever fell for you to the point I lost myself and admitted I loved you."
She said all this in a low voice to which in the end she finally broke down and it did hurt me because I know that I am part of the problem, more like the major one, before I could speak she cut me off and spoke again...
"I honestly wanted to blame you for everything but I couldn't, because of you I found this amazing father who took me in and became a part of his family and later a brother who I love so much. I may have lost my parents but you did help me in finding a father in a man I barely knew, so I want to thank you. It is said we best learn from our mistakes and I surely did have my lesson."
What the...I don't want her to thank me for anything I am supposed to be the one, because of her I have a son and I became a changed man, no more sleeping around and that was because I fell for and that too hard.
I wanted to hug and comfort her but some part of me was screaming a bad idea as I would just mess everything, I was and still am the last person she wants to see and I don't want to ruin my chances.
"I know I hurt you and I'm probably not on your good side at the moment but I'm making this promise. I am willing to fight to make you mine again because for the four years I could not find you I realized that I love you but I was too dumb and stupid to admit it. Everyone around me knew that but I was so egoistic to realize that I would be letting go the one thing that made me a better version of who I am and that was your love and everything I feel for you."
Now I was the one staring outside finding interest in the horizon but I could feel her stare and there I knew she was looking at me, the only problem is I didn't have the courage to face her. I guess I was lucky she was even willing to listen to me even though she was doing all this unwillingly, she stayed meanwhile I was a coward who let her go.
"All I'm saying is not for you to feel sympathy or pity for me because what you've been through is way more than me, I just want you to know this time I am sincere and whatever it takes I am willing to sacrifice much more for you."
I now turned to face her and her face was void, no emotions to read, I hoped when I turned I could get to see her face and be able to know what she thought or felt after what I said, luck was really not on my side.
"I guess father was right, it's about time I have a talk with Kyle even though he never asked" I looked at her confused
"What are you talking about?" I asked
"Father and Seb think that Kyle is wondering why he doesn't have a father but is too scared to ask thinking I would get angry with him. I know I have tried to be both parents to him but it would never be enough, so I think it's time I talked to him."
I didn't know what to say as my heart was now bursting with joy, finally, I will get to see my son and be with him. I was so happy that I hugged her without noticing so I pulled back immediately but she had a smile on her face like she was happy.
"Ummm sorry I didn't mean to, I was just excited," I apologized. "You actually did raise that kid well, I can say you did an amazing job of being both parents even though I wasn't there to see him grow up"
"It's okay, I understand and thanks. I have all the videos and pictures of him, his first step, walk, I can send them if you want"
"Really? thanks, I'll appreciate it and i will just wait here while you tell him if it's okay with you" I said to her
"No, I mean I want to tell him when we are alone, then I will test you tomorrow where you can meet us and I'll leave you alone with him"
When she said no it hurt me but what she said had me smiling especially when she decided she would leave Kyle alone with me and have our father-son moment and the fact she was willing to send me a copy of all his videos and pictures, I couldn't be more happy and grateful.
"Ooh okay I will just give you my number"
I typed my number in her phone. She then walked me to the living room where we found everyone, my friends took it as a sign to leave and they said their goodbyes and walked out, before living I just could not resist my urge to hug Kyle so I did and I felt good.
Luke was on the drives seat and I was thankful because at this moment I don't think I would be able to drive. Saying my final byes I walked out of the house with one mission in my mind, win Kath back and have my family back with me.