After Earl left I fought with myself whether to tell Kyle the truth or just ignore it, I am really fighting with myself, I promised myself I would tell him and I knew I wanted to but now I'm not sure what to do.
I just walked towards everyone on the couch, I looked a father who nodded yes at me and I knew what I was supposed to do, I honestly think father has the power to read minds because how would he have known of my inner battles.
"Kyle son, please come with me I need to talk to you"
"Okay," he hoped off Seb's lap and took my hand.
We went into my room and sat on my bed bringing him into my arms, this is how we stay and cuddle together especially when we just wanted to be together.
"Mommy what did you want to tell me?"
I looked back at him and finally decided to tell him everything; it's now or never but first needed to find out why he never asked me anything.
"Baby, tell me the truth, why did you not ask me about your father and why you've been silent about it"
He stared down immediately avoiding my eyes, a gesture I never wanted to see from my own son, I raised his head so that he could look at me as I waited for his answer.
"Hey don't be scared I just want you to tell me, talk to me I promise I'm not mad or angry with you, okay" he nodded at me and finally spoke
"W-Well I didn't know how to ask you and I was scared to ask, I just thought that you and dad had a fight and if I asked you about it you will get mad"
"Oh honey, about the fight you are correct but I would never be angry at you, you are my baby and I love you are my baby"
I said to him which he nodded his head; I wanted my child to be brave and never fear to ask anyone about anything.
"So mom what did you want to talk about"
"Mmmh I wanted to tell you about your father he is back, he wants to see you and-"before I even got to complete my sentence he interrupted me.
"Really, I also want to meet him, momma"
"You will now will you let me finish what I was saying before you interrupted me?"
He was now laughing hard because I was assaulting him with tickles, he is very ticklish and his weakness, I then stopped and continued speaking.
"Son, your father is back and he did apologize but I am not ready to forgive him but I won't let you be caught in the middle of all this, I want you to know him and let him be there for him. His name is-"again with the interruptions, I tell you this boy is so impatient
"Earl Allen White, the man you went to speak with alone and the same guy who hugged me before he left, yeah I know he's my father"
"Yeah he is and he...wait how you know all this? Seb he told you right?"
"Yup but also Uncle Ethan and Tyson told me, they said he did something bad and you were angry with him then you disappeared poof but Uncle Seb told me not to tell you I knew so mom I said nothing."
He said the last part while gesturing himself zipping and locking his mouth, I just shook my head and smiled at him which he returned wholeheartedly, his smile was just heavenly.
"Wait here even though I know you won't" he giggled and spoke
"Where are you going, mommy?"
"Let's just say I am going to have a chat with your 'not going to be handsome anymore uncle'" I answered him
"Are you sure it's just talking or you're going to be wrestling each other"
"You are supposed to be 4, some words you shouldn't be able to pronounce well yet, but here you are speaking like you are 10"
"I will be turning 5 soon so I'm not four anymore and yeah I am sitting here missing all the fun so let's get going but remember I said nothing," he said then walked out, this kid I swear he got those traits from Earl and not me.
I walked into the living room and Kyle was already sitting with father and Seb had the remote control with him flipping through channels, I tried looking around to see if I could find something to use against him and I did a glass of water.
I walked towards him, more like tiptoed and just poured the whole glass on him. He jumped startled but when he saw my smirking face he had a scowl on his face.
"You witch what the hell did you just do to me?"
"Are you that dumb, from the look of things I poured water and your wet, duh?" I said taking a seat next to father who just looked at me with questioning eyes.
"Now what did I do to you?"
"As if you don't know, you overgrow goat head. You just had to open your big mouth and tell Kyle about Earl before I could; I am the one who should have done that, maggot"
"I wasn't the only one who spoke you should also have a talk with the brothers, not just me, I don't know why you always pick on me. I am older than you" he said back narrowing his eyes at me.
"Oh trust me I will have a talk with them and I don't pick on you, you are the one who chooses to be picked on and I don't care if you are older. No one messes with me"
He just rolled his eyes at me and looked away before he opened his big mouth again; this guy really needs to take a chill pill. He is so annoying and a danger to my brain cells.
"Wait how did you even find out unless...Kyle, I told you not to say anything" he turned towards Kyle.
"But Uncle I said nothing I swear"
"Why are you blaming him stupid?"
Kyle and I spoke at the same time, glaring at the man.
"Dad! Why are you suddenly quiet?" he asked father
"What do you want me to do, you kids and grandchild sort out your conflicts and just please keep me out of it," dad said
"You old man are so insensitive and unfair-"
"Seb if you don't shut up right now and stop calling me old and telling me off I will turn all this against you and have a world war three here"
Okay now, this was getting more fun that the war took a turn to a bickering match between father and Seb which left Kyle and I watching. By the time they were done, it was time for dinner so we all ate and everyone left to their respective rooms.
I then remembered I had to text Earl to meet us tomorrow and send some of the pictures and videos, after changing Kyle I put him to bed and took out my phone to text Earl.
K- Hi, meet us tomorrow at the Sweet Café at ten.
K- Oh and I already sent the pictures and videos. Goodnight.
Since I didn't get a response after five minutes I assumed he was not around or either in bed so I also turned the lights off and tried to sleep as his words earlier just kept echoing in my mind keeping me wide awake. It's like my subconscious was waiting for this moment to torture me.
He apologized and is willing to fight for you and right the wrongs what will you do? He even admitted to long you and you love him back No I don't. stop lying to yourself, you never got into a relationship as you would avoid all me who tried to date you meaning you not only have feelings for him, you love him I kept on fighting my subconscious until I heard a ping on my phone which I silently thanked.
E- I will be there and thanks for everything I mean it. Goodnight.
K- You're welcome.
Immediately I placed my phone down it rang, it was Earl I debated on whether to pick it or not.
"Hello"
"Hey Kath thanks for everything, especially for letting me have a part in our son's life"
"No problem he actually wanted to know you all along and he got to know it before I could tell him"
"What do you mean by that?"
I debated on whether to tell him because as much as I wanted to end this call, it really felt good talking freely with him with no care.
"Your friends and my brother told him who you were while we talked alone and they also gave him your full names, so he knew who I was talking about" I heard him laugh "Yeah, go ahead and laugh," I said pretending to sound irritated.
"Okay sorry about that, anyway why are you still awake?
"What do you mean, it's still early, duh" he chuckled before answering
"If ten pm is still early for you then okay I wo-"I cut him off
"Whaaaat" I screamed forgetting I had a phone in my hand and there was someone on the line.
"Ouch woman, you could at least warn me before trying to rip my eardrums off with your voice, damn my poor ears" I heard Earl speak and I realized what I did.
"Ooops, I'm so sorry. I didn't notice the time I still thought its eight" I answered him honestly.
"What have you been doing for the past hour that you didn't notice the time pass?" he asked
Why does he want to know, I started asking myself questions in my head again. Or should I just say hey you know what my subconscious and I were on a fight about you, yeah I should, my thought were interrupted when I heard him laugh
"Why are you laughing?"
"Well it's funny how you and your subconscious were fighting about me that you lost two hours and didn't even notice it, so care to share what the fight was about," he said the last past amused.
Due to my pride and annoyance I ignored him and hang-up, his problem not mine. Why did I embarrass myself oh god this is bad, gosh.
E- It's honestly funny how you are trying to avoid this I will still ask you about it someday.
K- Just shut up and go to sleep.
He sent me laugh emoji before sending me another message which had me holding my breath.
E- Goodnight Kath, I love you.
What to do, I can't reply with I love you too though I do I won't, I finally replied
K- Goodnight.