Callisto sat there with tears in her eyes blurring her vision. The same thing always happens, it's like an endless cycle she just can't seem to break through. When she feels as if she's happy again, oh but wait it looks like the universe doesn't like seeing that happen and boom comes depression. This cycle just keeps going on and on she doesn't know how to stop it. She's feeling exhausted.
Callisto's life is a constant mess. Was it so hard to actually tell your own kid "Hey, I'm proud of you" or even just a simple "I love you". Comparing your kids to others doesn't mean you're giving them motivation. Trust me, you're just making them feel low of themselves and honestly parents with this mindset better start changing. I get it, you want your child to succeed, but it doesn't always have to be in studies, it could be in something that they love doing perhaps a hobby? Has anyone's parent been asking them how they're doing? Parents nowadays expect so much from kids that they tend to forget we're human too, we still have feelings too.
Callisto's parents never once asked her how she was doing for as long as she can remember. Till this very day her parents don't know that she's depressed or she's suffering from really bad anxiety but they just brush it off saying she's just "shy" and all. They don't know that the reason behind her "headaches" is the fact that she cries herself to sleep every night. Callisto tries talking to her friends but she doesn't like feeling as if she's a burden. From my understanding, parents are supposed to support and love you. Not tear you down, make you feel like you're a waste of space or make you feel less loved.
That's what Callisto feels like all the time, a burden. She feels like a burden because she can't seem to score grades as high as her friends or cousins, she feels like a burden because she doesn't seem to line up to her parent's expectations. Most of all she feels like a burden because after all this time she just can't seem to be happy even though she's provided with food and a roof above her head. Callisto just wants to give up, she's so done with everything. Even though she might be leaving some good people behind, she would maybe finally find peace from within. The feeling of peace she's been missing for the past 16 years of her life. But she knows she can't do that, she knows she shouldn't be selfish and just stick around even though it's just hurting her.
So that's what Callisto does. She sticks around and writes her feelings out in the form of poems or stories in a small blue book. She's been keeping this book hidden from others but enough is enough, she has decided she was going to share her story with the world. She didn't want anyone to read her thoughts because she was afraid they might call her ungrateful for being depressed. Callisto has dreams of being a writer and actually publishing her book out to the world but she's afraid, she's afraid that people might judge because why wouldn't they these stories were written by a mere 16 year old girl. People might not take her seriously and just say she's another "teenager" going through a phase.
Even though Callisto constantly says she's numb and she's just used to all the pain, she still manages to break down every single time. A small part in her still thinks that maybe this is all a big bad dream she's having difficulty waking up from. A small part of her still wants to be accepted and loved. But who was she kidding, the sad truth is that everything happening around Callisto is so very real. Welcome to Callisto's life.
- The End -
Love,
C🦋