In the morning, Mariam was given a long-sleeved, dark green dress to wear over white cotton
trousers. Afsoon gave her a green hijab and a pair of matching sandals.
She was taken to the room with the long, brown table, except now there was a bowl of sugar-coated
almond candy in the middle of the table, a Koran, a green veil, and a mirror. Two men Mariam had
never seen before- witnesses, she presumed-and a mullah she did not recognize were already seated
at the table.
Jalil showed her to a chair. He was wearing a light brown suit and a red tie. His hair was washed.
When he pulled out the chair for her, he tried to smile encouragingly. Khadija and Afsoon sat on
Mariam's side of the table this time.
The mullah motioned toward the veil, and Nargis arranged it on Mariam's head before taking a seat.
Mariam looked down at her hands.
"You can call him in now," Jalil said to someone.
Mariam smelled him before she saw him. Cigarette smoke and thick, sweet cologne, not faint like
Jalil's. The scent of it flooded Mariam's nostrils. Through the veil, from the corner of her eye, Mariam saw a tall man, thick-bellied and broad-shouldered, stooping in the doorway. The size of him almost
made her gasp, and she had to drop her gaze, her heart hammering away. She sensed him lingering in
the doorway. Then his slow, heavy-footed movement across the room. The candy bowl on the table
clinked in tune with his steps. With a thick grunt, he dropped on a chair beside her. He breathed
noisily.
The mullah welcomed them. He said this would not be a traditional nikka
"I understand that Rasheedagha has tickets for the bus to Kabul that leaves shortly. So, in the interest
of time, we will bypass some of the traditional steps to speed up the proceedings."
The mullah gave a few blessings, said a few words about the importance of marriage. He asked Jalil
if he had any objections to this union, and Jalil shook his head. Then the mullah asked Rasheed if he
indeed wished to enter into a marriage contract with Mariam. Rasheed said, "Yes." His harsh, raspy
voice reminded Mariam of the sound of dry autumn leaves crushed underfoot.
"And do you, Mariam jan, accept this man as your husband?"
Mariam stayed quiet. Throats were cleared.
"She does," a female voice said from down the table.
"Actually," the mullah said, "she herself has to answer. And she should wait until I ask three times.
The point is, he's seeking her, not the other way around."
He asked the question two more times. When Mariam didn't answer, he asked it once more, this time
more
forcefully- Mariam could feel Jalil beside her shifting on his seat, could sense feet crossing and
uncrossing beneath the table. There was more throat clearing. A small, white hand reached out and
flicked a bit of dust off the table.
"Mariam," Jalil whispered.
"Yes," she said shakily.
A mirror was passed beneath the veil. In it, Mariam saw her own face first, the archless, unshapely
eyebrows, the flat hair, the eyes, mirthless green and set so closely together that one might mistake her
for being cross-eyed. Her skin was coarse and had a dull, spotty appearance. She thought her brow
too wide, the chin too narrow, the lips too thin. The overall impression was of a long face, a
triangular face, a bit houndlike. And yet Mariam saw that, oddly enough, the whole of these
unmemorable parts made for a face that was not pretty but, somehow, not unpleasant to look at either.
In the mirror, Mariam had her first glimpse of Rasheed: the big, square, ruddy face; the hooked nose;
the flushed cheeks that gave the impression of sly cheerfulness; the watery, bloodshot eyes; the
crowded teeth, the front two pushed together like a gabled roof; the impossibly low hairline, barely
two finger widths above the bushy eyebrows; the wall of thick, coarse, salt-and-pepper hair.Their gazes met briefly in the glass and slid away.
This is the face of my husband,Mariam thought.
They exchanged the thin gold bands that Rasheed fished from his coat pocket. His nails were
yellow-brown, like the inside of a rotting apple, and some of the tips were curling, lifting. Mariam's
hands shook when she tried to slip the band onto his finger, and Rasheed had to help her. Her own
band was a little tight, but Rasheed had no trouble forcing it over her knuckles.
"There," he said.
"It's a pretty ring," one of the wives said. "It's lovely, Mariam."
"All that remains now is the signing of the contract," the mullah said.
Mariam signed her name-themeem, thereh, the 3^ and themeem again-conscious of all the eyes on her
hand. The next time Mariam signed her name to a document, twenty-seven years later, a mullah would
again be present.
"You are now husband and wife," the mullah said."Tabreek. Congratulations."
* * *
Rasheed waited in the multicolored bus. Mariam could not see him from where she stood with Jalil,
by the rear bumper, only the smoke of his cigarette curling up from the open window. Around them,
hands shook and farewells were said. Korans were kissed, passed under. Barefoot boys bounced
between travelers, their faces invisible behind their trays of chewing gum and cigarettes.
Jalil was busy telling her that Kabul was so beautiful, the Moghul emperor Babur had asked that he
be buried there. Next, Mariam knew, he'd go on about Kabul's gardens, and its shops, its trees, and its
air, and, before long, she would be on the bus and he would walk alongside it, waving cheerfully,
unscathed, spared.
Mariam could not bring herself to allow it.
"I used to worship you," she said.
Jalil stopped in midsentence. He crossed and uncrossed his arms. A young Hindi couple, the wife
cradling a boy, the husband dragging a suitcase, passed between them. Jalil seemed grateful for the
interruption. They excused themselves, and he smiled back politely.
"On Thursdays, I sat for hours waiting for you. I worried myself sick that you wouldn't show up."
"It's a long trip. You should eat something." He said he could buy her some bread and goat cheese.
"I thought about you all the time. I used to pray that you'd live to be a hundred years old. I didn't
know. I didn't know that you were ashamed of me."Jalil looked down, and, like an overgrown child, dug at something with the toe of his shoe.
"You were ashamed of me."
"I'll visit you," he muttered "I'll come to Kabul and see you. We'll-"
"No. No," she said. "Don't come. I won't see you. Don't you come. I don't want to hear from you.
Ever.Ever. "
He gave her a wounded look.
"It ends here for you and me. Say your good-byes."
"Don't leave like this," he said in a thin voice.
"You didn't even have the decency to give me the time to say good-bye to Mullah Faizullah."
She turned and walked around to the side of the bus. She could hear him following her. When she
reached the hydraulic doors, she heard him behind her.
"Mariamjo."
She climbed the stairs, and though she could spot Jalil out of the corner of her eye walking parallel
to her she did not look out the window. She made her way down the aisle to the back, where Rasheed
sat with her suitcase between his feet. She did not turn to look when Jalil's palms pressed on the
glass, when his knuckles rapped and rapped on it. When the bus jerked forward, she did not turn to
see him trotting alongside it. And when the bus pulled away, she did not look back to see him
receding, to see him disappear in the cloud of exhaust and dust.
Rasheed, who took up the window and middle seat, put his thick hand on hers.
"There now, girl There. There," he said. He was squinting out the window as he said this, as though
something more interesting had caught his eye.