I already imagined that I would wait a long time in the car, but that is exactly what I need. Being alone to be able to demonstrate everything that I cannot show in front of people.
With my head leaning against the car window, I kept remembering everything that happened, what my mother said was a very painful thing to hear, and I was not even to blame because what she was thinking didn't happen. I didn't ask to leave because I hate it here, and she deduced it without first asking me what actually happened.
To tell you the truth, I don't even know why I had that reaction, the accident with the boxes really irritated me but the real reason for having that reaction, I really don't know.
I was crying in silence in the car when someone taps on the window. It's probably Madison and my mom, so I wipe my face with my sweatshirt sleeves, open the car, and sit in the back seat.
To my surprise, it wasn't my mom or Madison, it was the boy who dropped the Styrofoam on me. Why is he here? If he found me he probably followed me. I lower the car window and I can see his face perfectly. I'm still mad at him for dropping that on me.
- Look, if you came here to apologize again, you can go back to work because I will not accept your apologies. - I say staring at the front seat, I don't want to look at him with a red face from crying.
- That's not what I came here for. In fact, I'm not sure why I got here, but I saw what happened. I saw what that woman said to you and ... - Him to speak, as if remembering something.
- I'm fine. - That's all I can say.
- Are you sure?
- If for some mysterious reason I was not well, why do you think I would tell the reason to a stranger? - This time I look at him irritated.
- Are you crying. - That was not a question, he is stating.
- Go back to work. - I look at the passenger seat again.
- Are you sure you want me to leave?
- Yes.
- Well, if you ever need something to feel good at random, just send a message on that number. - He hands me one of the company cards with his contact number. - I know many places here, I'm sure you will love them all.
- I'm still mad at you.
- See you around, angry girl.
- I hope I never see you again. - I say aloud, as he walked towards the mall.
- Maybe you see me in your dreams. - He finally enters the establishment.
I close the window again and look at the card he gave me. It's just an ordinary card that every store seller has, but the one he gave me is his number written on the back. He didn't even leave his name written. With everything that happened I ended up forgetting your name, which is not bad, because I will never text this number.
I was lost in thought when someone tapped the car window again. When I lift my head to see who it is, I see that it is not that boy but my mother and Madison. They put the purchases in the trunk and go back inside.
They get in the car and everything is completely silent. Neither wants to talk about what happened, maybe they have already talked about it inside the store. From the angry expression on my mother's face, I would say that she doesn't want to talk about it again.
My parents were always like that, distant, silent. They never went to any presentation I was attending, meetings. Anything. When I asked why they said they didn't have time because of work, I just agreed and didn't say anything else. They were never interested in my life, if I went to school or I don't think they would care either, maybe it doesn't matter if I get a high or get a low grade.
My parents don't know me, if someone asks my mom what my favorite color is she won't know the answer, if they ask my dad how old I am he will probably miss it, they are so busy with work that they don't see me grow up.
In the same way that they don't know basic things about me, they also can't understand what I'm feeling, an example of this was today in the store, when my mom yelled at me in front of all the customers and employees. Sometimes she says things that hurt me without realizing it, but I can't tell her that it hurts me because she wouldn't understand.
I have a trick to listen to my parents' conversations without any of them noticing, sometimes I make them think I'm asleep but I'm actually awake. A few times that I did this, I found out that my parents never intended to have children, maybe that's why they treat me like that. I heard that a few years ago, maybe I could have heard it wrong and interpreted it wrong, but after that I noticed some of their attitudes and saw it from another perspective.
Lost in my memories, I hear my aunt calling me. I look towards her, and she hands me a small gift box.
- Only open the gift when we get home. - She whispers to me, which is useless because my mother can hear us.
- It's all right. - I put the little box on my lap. The box has a square shape, with a large bow at the top, and a light blue color. I have no idea what might be in here.
We got home after ten minutes. I help my mom keep the things she and Madison bought. After we were done, I went to the bedroom to open the gift I got, but my mom calls me and I already hope for the worst.
- Tomorrow your aunt's husband and daughter will arrive here, we don't know the time yet. They were traveling to visit Madison's husband's family. When they arrive I want you to meet them.
- Do you want me to meet my cousin?
- She's your age. You don't have to be her friend, I just want you to meet.
- You never said I had a cousin.
- This is the first time we've come here. I had no reason to tell you, but now they will arrive tomorrow and I want you here to meet them.
- Don't you have anything else you want to tell me? - I say with the intention of getting into the subject of what happened today.
- No. - She goes back to packing the things she bought with my aunt and I go to my room.
I don't know why I wanted to go back on that subject, maybe because I want to hear things like "I'm sorry, Ayla. I was rude to you and overreacted." but she will never tell me something like that.
I put those thoughts aside and open the gift that my aunt gave me. When I open it I see a set to draw, there is a small notebook for drawings and another for notes, and some pencils and erasers.
I don't know how she guessed that I also like to draw, but I loved the gift.
I open the sketchbook and start drawing what comes to mind, then I draw a big night sky from a window. I was drawing for a few hours and only went to sleep when I finished drawing, it was perfect, exactly the way I imagined.
Looking closely at the drawing I did, I realize that I drew the night sky that I looked out the window when I lived in Australia. I take the memories out of my mind and keep the materials.
Tomorrow will be a better day ... or not.