Today is Monday and I have school. Luckily though I'm out on Friday because of teacher development or something.
"Wake up Scarlett you have school"
But until then I have to suffer through school.
"Ugh"
"Come on Scar, we go through this everyday"
"That's cause I'm exhausted"
"You literally slept all weekend"
"That's what depression does to you"
She walked over to me and ripped the covers off.
"Avery!!"
"Get up!" She said and walked out the door. Ughhh I don't feel like going and dealing with my shadow aka Luna.
I got up and got dressed and went out to the kitchen.
"I'm skipping breakfast, don't try and talk me out of it"
They all gave me a disappointed look but I'm used to those kinds of looks. "Does Luna have to keep following me around school?"
"Yes, until Jamie and I think your ready to be on your own she'll be going with you"
Ughhh. I rolled my eyes and stood by the door. They finished up and we drove to school.
I walk into the building and Luna was right behind me. I have to stop by the guidance counselors office everyday to check in as if I don't have enough therapists already. Also "That counselor is so creepy, she's constantly touching me and saying weird things" Damn it, I said that out loud. Luna looked at me concerned. "Really?"
"I didn't mean to say that out loud. I do that sometimes when I'm deep in thought, sorry" I just want her to drop it because I don't feel like dealing with a whole lot of drama this year.
"If she's doing that Scarlett you need to tell me"
I just did though it was accidental.
"It's fine. Wait out here it shouldn't take that long"
"Ok, call for me if you need anything"
"Ok"
I walk into the office and her eyes immediately light up. But not in a regular way, I don't know how to describe it but it felt like she was undressing me with her eyes. I wanna say I'm just paranoid but she's just too touchy-feely.
"Hi Ms. Soyer"
"Hi Scarlett take a seat" She said smiling and looking me up and down.
"Can you stop looking at me like that"
"Like what" She said smiling.
"Never mind"
"So how are you today?"
"Fine"
"Do you have a boyfriend Scarlett?"
That came out of nowhere. Why is she asking me about Matt? I got a bad feeling in my stomach.
"Yeah..."
"Ok"
She stands up and walks over to me. I feel like I should yell right now but I can't muster up the courage, I was paralyzed.
"Are you sexually active?" She says smiling. She said it so quietly and I could feel her hot breath on my face. Get up. Get up. Why can't I move.
She squats down and puts her hand on my thigh a little too far up. This is definitely wrong. I feel my heart start to speed up and I try to move but she holds me in place.
"What the hell are you doing??" I say scared.
"How does Matt do it? Like this?" She says as she slides her hand closer to the center or my pants. She starts rubbing me and breathing in my ear. After about 10 seconds of this the bell rings and I've never been so happy to go to class.
"We'll continue this tomorrow" She says smiling. She rubs her hand all the way up to my chest then walks back to her desk. I get up and walk out the office.
I think Luna can tell something wrong because she keeps looking at me. "What happened?"
"I don't wanna talk about it, let's just go to class"
We go to my next class and I sit staring at the teacher the whole time. I'm not listening though. I'm thinking about what happened in the office. That's disgusting, I can't go in there tomorrow for all I know that bitch is gonna rape me. I refuse to go through that again.
The bell rings and I go to my next class. I see Matt in the hallway and walk up to him and give him a hug. He makes me happy and feel safe.
"What's up Scar?"
"Nothing, nothing at all"
"Are you ok?"
"I am now. You smell like lavender"
"Thanks?" I can feel his smile and confusion. I pull away and I see him look behind me.
"Yeah, Avery still has Luna stalking me but it's fine. I've gotten pretty used to the gossiping and stares at this point"
"I'm sorry. The kids at this school are assholes"
"Yeah"
The bell rung and we waved each other goodbye and went to our separate classes. The rest of the day all I thought about was Ms. Soyer's nasty hands on me.
************
After School
It's the end of the day and I'm outside with Luna waiting to go home. I kissed Matt goodbye much to Luna's objection and waved by to Stacy. Now it's just me and her.
"So what happened in Ms. Soyer's office this morning?"
"Nothing"
"I know something happened, you were acting off all day. Did she touch you"
My thoughts immediately went to when she put her hand on my thigh and how I didn't move or say anything. "What's wrong with me?" I whispered to myself, but I think Luna heard me.
"Scarlett what happened? Please tell me."
"I didn't mean to say that out loud" Just then Avery pulled up in her car and I got in. She got out to talk to Luna and I already know she told Avery about it. Avery got back into the car and we started driving home.
"Is what Luna told me true? Is Ms Soyer touching you inappropriately?"
"I don't wanna talk about it"
"Scarlett if she is I need to know now"
"I don't wanna talk about it"
I know she trying to help but why can't she take the hint. I don't wanna start something out of this. I wanna go through my school year without going through some big scandal.
"Scarlett, I know it's hard and you don't wanna talk about it but you have too"
"I don't wanna talk about it or think about it. I just wanna go home"
"If you don't tell me I can't help you. I can't keep you from going to her office because it mandatory for you. Please just tell me"
"It's too hard" I say looking down at my hands. I can't bring myself to look at her.
"What would make it easier?"
"A razor" I mumble under my breath.
"Scarlett, talk to me. Don't bottle it up because it'll all come out later. And I don't want you to go through that again"
We park at the apartment and sit there for a minute.
"Well?"
"She massaged my shoulders and asked me a lot of personal questions. That's it"
"What type of questions did she ask?"
"My age, if I had a boyfriend-
My thoughts start trailing off and I feel my body heat up. I feel so angry and confused. Why me? Why didn't I move? Why didn't I scream?
"Scarlett"
"Scarlett!"
I snapped out of it and looked at Avery. She looked so worried. I realized how much I was sweating and how shaky I was.
"What else happened? Let's get it all out now"
She was right, there's no way I'd be able to say this all again. At least not for awhile.
"She asked me if I was sexually active"
We sat in silence for a minute before I continued.
"She bent down beside me" I felt tears streaming down my face. I didn't realize I was crying till now. How long have I been crying?
"She put her hand on my thigh and slid it upwards"
I had to finish this. I wiped my tears and continued.
"She um...she started....rubbing me. And asking if that's how Matt does it. Then the bell rung and I left"
I looked at Avery and she seemed mad and sad and worried and confused all in one. She seemed overwhelmed with emotion.
"Do you mean like-
"Yeah" I said cutting her off.
"I'm so sorry, do you wanna go to the police right now?"
"No"
"Scarlett we have to though. She's twice your age, and she's the guidance counselor. This could be happening to other kids as well."
"I can't do it"
"Scar-
"I CAN'T DO IT!!"
"Ok, we won't go today"
"I'm sorry I yelled at you"
"No, you don't need to apologize for anything"
She hugs me and I feel all the emotions come out of me. I feel disgusted with myself. My body was reacting and physically it felt good but in my head I felt and feel disgusted by it. I didn't want it. I should of ran why the fuck didn't I run??? What the hell is wrong with me. I liked it? Why wasn't my body listening to my brain? I wanted to run I wanted to scream but I did nothing. I just let it happen. "It's all my fault, I should've ran or screamed what is wrong with me?? Why did my body like it why wasn't my complete existence appalled? Why couldnt I just move. Or call Luna? I hate myself so fucking much"
Avery hugged me tighter. I said all of that out loud. Of course I did, I'm a fucking weirdo who likes older woman. "I'm disgusting"
"Scarlett listen to me. None of that was your fault. She never should have touched you like that. That bitch is gonna get what she deserves soon enough"
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This chapter was a lot more serious and so will some of the chapters to come will be. I just wanna say that woman can rape and sexually assault too. If a man or woman tells you that a woman did something to them believe them and help them through it. Men especially, they don't get enough help as it is when it come to this kind of thing. Just be mindful of other people's feelings and when someone tells you something listen and help to the best of your ability.
I hope you guys enjoyed this one and I'll see you on the next chapter.