It was midnight on Friday and I normally have an all-night marathon movie or read books on Fridays. But because I was in a new neighborhood, I still don't feel at home, even though we've been living with Kiefer here for a few days.
I was in the middle of reading a book when I felt thirsty. Giving me a reason to leave my room and opt to get a glass of fresh milk, maybe some chips to go with it. I was about to go back in, but I saw Kiefer in the corner of my eyes. He was knocked out cold on the floor, surrounded by cans of beer.
In disappointment, I shook my head and gathered his litter, one by one. I just can't bear a dirty living room or a dirty anything on that note. Whilst picking up his trash, I unexpectedly came face to face with him at that moment, making me look at his sleeping, peaceful face.
I must confess that I missed him a lot, even though my blood boils whenever I see him, yet when I remember what happened in the past, I just can't help it.
"Would we still be the same if that didn't happen?" I whispered carefully as I kept on looking at him. His relaxed and quiet breathing makes him look gentle as he tries to keep himself warm by hugging his own arms, "How would it be if you didn't leave me?"
I stayed that way for a minute or so, since it was the only time I could ever stare at him this close without him knowing. Spooked by the thought that he had woken up and will see me staring at his face, I decided to stand up and go back to the comfort of my room when his hand found my wrist, "Don't leave..." He mumbled. "Don't leave me, Keira."
Not even one step away when he pulled me back down which resulted in me landing on top of him, just like those cliché scenes that we all see in movies or dramas, the only difference was I didn't feel butterflies in my stomach, I felt enraged, "Hey! Are you awake? Let go of me!" I tried to remove his grip from my waist, but he only tightened it and pulled me closer. "Kiefer, I am not in the mood for jokes!"
"Stay, please don't leave. Just a few minutes, Keira," he murmured softly. When I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck, I felt shivers running up my spine, "Kei, I still love you. I love you so much that if I don't tell you now I might go insane." I felt alarmed as the back of my shirt slowly got soaked with his tears, "I don't know if you're still going to believe me or if you can still trust me, but I hope you're willing to let me. Please let me show you how much I love you. I know I sound like a broken record, but I won't get tired of telling you how much I do and how much I regret what happened in the past."
I stayed quiet the entire time with his words repeating itself over and over in my head even after he fell asleep. It didn't take long for Kieter to go back to sleep, maybe because of all the beer he drank that caused him to pass out. His hug around me became loose and I took that opportunity to stand up and dash to my room.
I didn't bother helping him. I thought I'd go crazy last night as Kiefer's sleeping face was the only thing I'd see everytime I closed my eyes. The ending? Me tossing and turning on my bed, 'til I just settled on staring at the ceiling.
This isn't good. Definitely not a good sign.
I tried to sleep and concentrated to clear my mind. This is frustrating! I promised myself that I'll never be easy for him, but look at what's happening. It's like deja vu or like history is just repeating itself. And I'm scared that I'll lose again without putting up a fight. I'll fall again and this time, I might not be able to stand back up.
"Did you sleep? You look like a zombie." Kiesha points out when she met me at the café just below our condo, "Did Kiefer cause that? Or rather did you and Kiefer's actions do that?" She asked whilst wiggling her eyebrows at me.
For some unknown reason, my cheeks started to burn from her question, "You're blushing! So, something did happen?" She squealed. I immediately covered her mouth and attempted to calm her down. Good God, why do I have such a talkative sister?
"Nothing happened! I just couldn't sleep, because I'm not comfortable in the condo." I sighed. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I was starting to feel bothered by Kiefer's existence. "I didn't sleep 'cause I read all night, didn't notice the time, okay?"
She gave me a weird look, squinting her eyes to show that she didn't believe a word I said, "I know that look, Kiesha. Suit yourself if you don't wanna believe me." I glared at her when she suddenly let out a laugh, causing other customers to turn their heads towards us for the second time, "Are you crazy?" I whispered as I tried to put a small distance between us. The embarrassment I feel is through the roof!
"Crazy." She responded with a teasing smile. "I just noticed something out of the ordinary. Are you in love?"
If I didn���t stop myself I would've spat her the coffee I was drinking after hearing her question, "Again, are you crazy? What the hell are you talking about?" She only responded with her usual loud laugh. I swear to God we're about to get kicked out of this café because of how noisy she is. I sank in my chair in hopes of people won't remember what I look like.
"Oh Keira, this whole time I thought you changed, but I guess not." She responded, trying to sound disappointed. "You're still inlove with him, right?"
I paused at her statement. Am I that obvious? Damn it, Kei!
"Based on your reaction, I'm right." she said, looking accomplished while sipping her coffee.
"But I'm afraid of risking that again, Kiesh. What if he hurts me again? What if the past itself is repeated? What if he leaves me... again? I bombarded her with concerns, "Kiesha, what if it's not worth the second chance after all?"
"We'll never know unless you try, Kei. No one else can answer those questions but you. I don't have the answer, Kei. It's on the two of you if you'll let the past haunt you or this time, you'll face it stronger and fight it together." She held my hand over the table and gave me a reassuring smile, "Answer honestly, Kei. Are you ready to face your fears or will you let your fears win you over?"
Those wise words from Kiesha struck me up until I got back to our unit. I was so zoned out while waiting for the elevator that I didn't notice I was the only one they were waiting for to get on. They were all looking at me, that's enough embarassing moments for you Keira!
"Let go of your worries, miss. Just go with the flow." I glanced at the random guy who spoke just behind me. Black tousled hair, sharp features and almost the same height as Kiefer, he also seemed like a fairly new tenant like us.
I was about to ask for his name when he brushed past me as he made his way out of the elevator on the 15th floor. I just shrugged my shoulders and waited for the 22nd floor where our unit is located.
Just as I opened the door, the first thing I noticed was the delicious scent of whatever Kiefer was making. I scurried to the kitchen and saw how busy he was at making our dinner.
I placed the black coffee I bought for him from the café on the table, I thought it would somehow help if he had a hangover based on the amount of beer he drank last night. But by the looks of it, he really learned how to manage his hangovers unlike before when he was like an amputated zombie crawling on the floor.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard him speak, "You're home!" he exclaimed with eyes wide open as he saw me standing under the archway of our door, which tells me he wasn't expecting me to arrive this early. He was wearing this cute apron that made it hard for me to suppress a smile.
"It suits you." I joked, but his ears instantly turned red. "Nice prints." I added which only made his blushing worse and cause to scratch his head.
"I cooked Menudo." he stated, "I didn't know what you'd want, but I recalled how you love Menudo so I decided to go with that. Forgive me if it doesn't taste like it, it's my first time making this dish." he quickly handed me a fork, gesturing for me to taste it.
I happily obliged and was surprised that he was actually a decent cook. I never expected him to be this good if I'll be honest, "It's good." a little compliment on his cooking won't hurt, right? "You're good at cooking, I'm impressed."
"Glad you like it, I feel like I won the lottery." He said and snorted, "Oh and don't worry, I didn't put a love potion there or something." he added.
"There's no need for a potion." I murmured under my breath. "You'll always have a place in my heart."
"Hmm? Sorry, what was that?" He asked, but I only gave him a smile and shook my head, "Anyway, it's already done. Are you hungry? Let's eat?" Nodding immediately, I got our plates and insisted on helping him set the table.
My eyes continued to watch his every move as we did our sections on setting the table. Kei, stop it! I thought you said you had more than enough? that you're going to be firmer this time because we don't need a guy like that in our lives? I sighed and ended up having a mental debate with myself.
Silence took over as we had our dinner, none of us dared to break it, until I decided to speak up, "Kief, let's talk after we eat?" and he only nodded in response.
After we ate, I offered to wash the dishes. There's no point in having him do all of the chores. To my surprise, when I was in the middle of the washing, he unexpectedly said, "What do you want to talk about?" My heart skipped a beat as I nearly dropped a plate into the sink. I sighed and glared at him.
"Can you just please wait for me in the living room? There's no need to surprise me like that." He just shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to plop himself down on the couch.
I could hear him listening to a few unfamiliar songs from where I was standing. Curious, I decided to peek, he was listening intently and I could even see the disappointment in his eyes whilst watching our TV in the center of the room.
When he saw me approaching his direction with a bowl of chocolate chip cookies—both our favorites—and some soda in a can, he instantly switched off the music.
You can say I don't care about the sugar rush.
"What will we talk about?" he asked again. I suddenly felt a pang of hesitation, confused whether I should tell him what's been going through my mind these past few days or not. Fear is once again, knocking on my door now that I'm face to face with him. I'm really going to eat my own words,huh?
"How about we restart our friendship, Kief? I mean, let's just move on and create new memories together?"
"You mean, you forgive me?"
"No, I'm just saying that we should just...okay fine, I am. I forgive you."
Upon hearing those words, his face literally lit up and murmured "Really?" his eyes were teary, and I couldn't help but feel so melted, damn.
"Yeah, don't you want to?" he furiously shook his head, shocking me with a tight embrace after.
"You have no idea how much you made me happy, Kei." he whispered. "I won't let this second chance go to waste. I promise you won't regret giving me another chance, I promise."
I was so scared he would just laugh at me, but I found myself relaxing in his arms somehow. Breathing more freely than usual, now that we're all right,
God please, I hope I made the right choice.