"Sometimes you will never know
the VALUE of a moment,
until it becomes a MEMORY."
- Dr. Seuss
• • •
Waking up suddenly to find darkness, I blinked multiple times to try and adjust my eyes to the room before me.
Finally being able to see somewhat through the dark that covered most of the room, all except the right side of the room as the moon shined through the window sill.
Sitting upright, I looked around having a weird feeling. It felt as if I was being watched, but as I looked around there was no one, apart from the drooling brown eyed girl who was still sleeping at my side.
Just as my eyes scanned the room for anything in particular, they stopped immediately at the corner of the room.
It was much darker than the rest of the room, but even though it was dark I could make out something or should I say someone standing there, the white piece of clothing sticking out the most, but those big eyes that shined even in the dark were the ones that made me widen my own eyes.
I could feel as my heart starting beating fast against my chest, my breaths coming out ragged. I was panicking just at the thought of someone being in the same room as us without us realizing an intruder had made their way inside.
What were the school guards for, if not to make sure nobody was to enter the building. I mean last time I checked, there was two guards right by the doors, shifting every now and then.
Shaking my head to see if I was hallucinating, I found myself staring right back at the silhouette. I tried to find an explanation, what if Willow has a mannequin and dressed it up?
My heart sunk as I remembered that there was no mannequin when I looked around her room this afternoon, and the figure seemed much more smaller than what an actual mannequin size would look like.
I couldn't move from where I was sat at the bed, not even if I tried. My form was shaking as I kept on staring at the dark.
"Hey Blair, I've missed you."
I felt the cold wind crawl up my spine making me shiver.
I recognized that voice. It was the same voice I had heard years ago. That same voice that kept me sane. It was her voice.
Riley's voice.
I watched as the figure stepped out of the dark corner, the once bright brown eyes, looking lifeless as they stared right back at my multicolored ones.
This isn't real.
"But it is," Riley spoke up, her voice coming out raspy.
"I must be dreaming," I muttered to myself, looking down at the white bed sheets.
Bringing my eyes up off the bed sheets, I looked over my shoulder to see Willow still asleep. Looking back at the dull eyes they were much closer now, staring up at me.
"Why can't you just be happy that I came to visit?" The little girl in front of me asked.
Taking her in from head to toe, I noticed how she was still wearing the same white one piece swimsuit she had on that same day. Her skin was paler than usual, even a little yellowish. Her hair seemed wet, just as her body. She was wearing the same old smile she would give me when she would see me, it radiated life.
"I'm so sorry," my voice came out above a whisper, "I'm really sorry."
"It's fine Blair. You have got to stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault."
"But it was. If only I would've-," before I could've started my rambling she placed her small index finger on my lips.
"Shh, don't worry about it. Look at you now, I mean you have to tell me about that one blue eyed hottie," her thin eyebrows wiggle.
I gave her a questioning look, "What blue eyed hottie?"
"Jordan? No, Jayden I think."
"What about him?"
"Well aren't you going to tell your childhood bestfriend about your huge crush on that piece of meat," at that she sighed in awe.
"Umm, it's a little weird to talk to a nine year old girl whom is dead may I add, about a guy who I do not have a crush on," I deny.
"Okay first off, ouch," she placed a little hand over her not beating heart, "and second of all, may I remind you that I am older than you and will always be, just because I look like my nine year old self doesn't mean I am younger than you, and third," she stopped to think,
"You're an asshole."
"Seriously?" I gaped at her use of vulgar language.
She shrugged her pale shoulders, "It's the first thing that came to mind," as if she remembered of something her face brightened even though her eyes didn't seem to twinkle like they used to, but the devious smile on her face made up for it,
"Right, going back to the conversation about the hottie, which you obviously have a crush on," I am about to object until she raises her hand as to stop me, "please, I may be dead but I know all about that crush you have on him."
I sealed my lips shut as she made her way to the edge of the bed and sat down, "So are you going to talk or..."
"Or," I quickly replied.
Rolling her eyes, she later on shot me a glare which came out creeper than I would've ever thought, "Come on Blair Bear, stop being so damn difficult, I'm trying to know what you've got in your mind."
How about no.
"Aww come on," she whined.
"See you can clearly see what's on my mind," I pointed out.
"But I want to hear it."
Pondering over her words, I released a long sigh as my hands ran over my face tiredly, "Fine," I grunted, "but you've got to promise not to tell anyone."
"I definitely have a bunch of people in line who are wanting so desperately to know about your love life," she replied, and I caught onto the sarcasm dripping from every word.
Rolling my eyes, I ran my hand through my hair.
Of course I would be stupid enough to tell that to a dead girl.
"Anyway," I brushed off her words, "you're right, I may or may not have a crush on Jayden," I watched as she squealed, "but," that got her to stop her excitement.
"There's always a but with you," she rolled her eyes.
"And you have a tendency to roll your eyes, big deal. Well, used to."
Rolling her eyes again, she pressed, "But?"
"But I can't do anything about it, I mean I'm sure by the way you describe him you've seen him. He's hot and I'm... me."
Letting out a huff she crossed her arms as she stared at me, "Seriously Blair? Any guy would be lucky enough to score a girl like you. I mean have you seen yourself, you're beautiful, inside and out. I can't imagine the reason why you would ever think of yourself so lowly."
Looking back at her I felt tears prickle my eyes. This moment reminded me of the times we sat at her bed and just talked for hours about boys, yeah we were nine and yet all we seemed to talk about was boys.
I can't help but think forward to the life she would've had. I mean she herself was beautiful, she would have had any boy on their knees begging for her to give them a chance.
If only we weren't friends maybe she would have been alive right now. Maybe if I wouldn't had befriended her in kindergarten she would be living her best life right about now, without me.
"Stop overthinking things Blair Bear," her voice came out soft, "just so you know I wouldn't change anything for the world, not our friendship, not anything."
A smile formed on my face, before it disappeared to her next words, "Well, goodbye Blair. I love you."
"Wha-"
My eyes opened wide as I sat up on the bed, looking around the room frantically.
No, no, no.
I couldn't see the same dull brown eyes. I didn't catch sight of the white swimsuit or the small frame. All there was, was a room, with two girls in it which didn't include the girl who was in my dream.
It seemed so real.
Remembering back to what we had talked about, I whispered softly, "I love you too, Riles."
Laying back down, I noticed how there was more light. And decided to check the time. As I looked to where Willow kept her clock on the wall, it read, 5:34.
I am definitely not going back to sleep now.
As I thought back to what I had just dreamed. I smiled. Never would I had thought that for the first time I wouldn't be having a nightmare and instead on its place something much more better.
I mean it was kind of weird. But, it felt good to talk to her even in her small form. Even though it wasn't real and it was only my brain doing something right for the first time.
I still can't believe I talked to her about Jayden. I mean of all we could have talked, we talked about Jayden.
I mean she was always big on boys. So I kind of understand where my brain was going.
As I laid there, suddenly a phone started ringing. Quickly getting off the bed, I grabbed a hold of my phone from the nightstand before the grumpy girl besides me woke up and gave me a huge lecture about how important her sleep is, trust me, she already gave it to me just last night before going to sleep.
Answering the call, I placed it on my ear and just as quickly took it away as Isabella shouted my ear off, "You better get your ass over to our dorm right now before I have no other choice but to track you down myself and drag you back here!"
"Wow! Wow there! Calm down, you sound like a mad women. Whatever did I do to you," I told her,
"I mean I haven't seen you since yesterday morning and may I remind you it was your idea to make me look for a place to crash at."
Grunting she said, "Just get here now! My morning has already been ruined so far, don't make it worsen because then we will have an even bigger problem."
And just like she hung up on me.
Seriously, what is wrong with these college students. They seriously need to go get checked out.
• • •
Walking back to my own dorm after dressing into yesterday's clothes and leaving Willow a note telling her I had to leave early and I would be seeing her in school.
Getting to the door I found a flustered looking Isabella standing there, her hair was disheveled, her form was slouched down as she leaned back onto the wall. A silk robe covered her sleeping attire as she hugged it closer to her body at the feeling of the mornings breeze.
As if hearing my footsteps, her bright blue eyes stared back at me tiredly, black bags decorated her pale skin just underneath her eyes.
Smirking her way, I walk even closer before leaning myself against the wall next to the ginger, "Must've been a long night."
"Finally," she grumbled ignoring my comment, rubbing her hands across her face,
"I thought you were never coming."
Rolling my eyes I said, "I didn't take very long."
Huffing out a breath she crossed her arms across her chest in a child like manner, "What's got you in such a sour mood either way?"
"Well someone's parents decided it would be a good idea to come at five, five in the morning! Just as I was about to fall asleep! I mean don't they get that I must be tired after all that amazing-"
Scrunching up my nose, I cut her off before she could continue and tell me much more than I need to know, "Okay, okay I get it,"
Shaking my head to take out the horrible image I got from them doing the dirty, I said, "And where could those parents of mine be?"
Without opening her mouth to give me an answer, her thumb did the work as it pointed towards our dorms door.
Nodding my head in understanding, I brought myself back to my two feet and straightened my posture as well as my clothes as I ran my hands down them to smoothen the material before fixing the glasses on my face.
Walking around the ginger, I found myself staring at the texture of the door. Closing my eyes for a moment, I took in a huge intake of breath preparing myself for what's waiting for me inside.
Taking out my keycard I placed it on the electrical powered door before I heard a clicking noise.
Building up courage, I waltz into the room and just as I felt someone following behind I closed the door behind me.
"Sure, I'll just stay out here dying of coldness! Don't worry about me, it's not like I just got prohibited from entering my own room or anything!" The ginger screamed from the other side of the door making me roll my eyes at her dramatics.
I swear I have been rolling my eyes a whole lot after spending so much time with her.
Not giving her an answer I lifted my eyes off the door to look at the two people who were comfortably sitting on the couch that sat in the middle of both beds.
"Blair!" A soothing voice exclaimed, "Oh my baby, how I've missed you."
I was soon crushed by the thin arms of my mother who hugged me tightly not seeming to let go.
"Leave some for me women," a deep voice spoke up, moving my head off of my moms shoulder I caught sight of a pair of grey eyes which shined as they smiled back at me.
Dad opened his arms wide open, as I detached myself from my moms hold and wrapped my arms around his torso.
His own arms wrapped around my shoulders as he hugged me, bringing one hand up he ran his fingers through my tangled hair.
"I see someone has a favorite," mom scoffed.
"She's Daddy's little girl," Dad cooed as he tickled me causing a small giggle to escape my lips.
"Dad! Stop!" I shouted as I tried to get out of his death grip.
"No! You're never getting out of this!" He screamed, adding an evil laugh.
"Lucas! Let my baby go!" Mom demanded all the while smacking at his arms.
From there on I watched as Dad tickled Mom.
Thinking it was enough as to this point they were kissing right in front of me, I clapped my hands interrupting their disgusting moment, "Okay love birds, I think you've had your fair share of alone time."
Finally remembering their child was present they departed and smiled innocently at me, but the smile that covered mom's face quickly vanished at the sight of me.
"Blair! What is it that your wearing?!"
"Clothes," I shrugged nonchalantly, looking down at them.
"Blair," her voice came out in a warning tone as she gave me a pointed look, "I know you and I know you would never wear such thing."
"I think she looks beautiful in whatever," dad commented.
"Thanks dad," I passed him a small smile,
"Look mom, I just needed a change okay," before she could question me any further I said, "Now, what is it that you guys are doing here?"
"Thought it would be a good idea to pay a visit to our children, after all we were passing by on our business trip," Dad explained, grinning from ear to ear.
"Elijah is waiting for us at the cafe across the street from here right about now," Mom added, checking her apple watch.
"Alright then, let me just get dressed into some new clothes and I'll meet you guys there," I told them.
After convincing my mom that I'll be fine walking to the cafe on my own as it's across the street from here with the help of my father, they both left me to change letting an aggravated Isabella in.
If I had missed the lecture from Willow I surely got it from Isabella, all about how I didn't let her in her room, how it wasn't only mine for me to kick her out like that, about my parents coming out of nowhere ruining her cuddling session with her boyfriend who I now know his name, Travis. Also how she could have used those few minutes to sleep and now she will have less time to sleep even though it's a Saturday.
All the while I kept on changing, not bothering to stop her rambling. Once she was done she was out of breath and I was on my way out the door.
"Bye Blair!"
"Bye."
I swear this girl is bipolar.
• • •
Entering the small cafe, I was met with the smell of coffee, a smell I could get used to this early in the morning.
Looking around to find the mop of light brown hair my brother carries, I finally caught sight of him and watched as he laughed at something dad had said just as mom smiled against her cup of coffee.
Smiling, at the scene I decided to go up to the counter to get myself a much needed Cafè Mocha.
As I walked to the counter, a big smile appeared on the wrinkled face reaching up to his bright blue eyes that matched his blue t-shirt. His brown hair gelled to the side as always.
Putting a hand on his hip he passed me a stern look, "Where have you been, haven't seen you in days."
"Hey Gavin," I greeted the old man, "I've been good, how about you?"
Laughing to himself he said, "I've been good kid, now tell me where have you been that you haven't had the time to visit me."
"School has been a pain in the ass," I replied, making him let out an even louder laugh.
"You don't have a cover do you?"
"No," I replied.
"Well, I guess you owe me five dollars," he shrugged, as he held a hand up to me.
Rolling my eyes, I took out my wallet before taking out a five dollar bill, "This is unfair."
"You had the choice to cuss or not," he shrugged, "Now pay up."
With the five dollar bill in hand, I glared at the hand extended in front of me, waiting patiently for the piece of paper.
Seeing as there was no way of getting out of this, I placed the bill onto his hand unwillingly keeping my hand on his, that was until he gave me a pointed look which got me to let go.
Huffing out a breath in a child like manner, his blue eyes shined in amusement, "Well old man I just came to get my usual."
"Old man? Who you calling old man? May I remind you that I am sixty five, that's quite young, I mean just yesterday a women told me I looked nothing over thirty," he seems proud of himself as he puffed out his chest.
"Sure old man," I nodded my head, before he could protest I changed the subject, "how's your wife and kids?"
"Ah, Davina is happy with seeing her grandson's now that both of our sons are visiting for the month, turns out they are planning to move back here," he told me and as he talked about them I saw how his eyes brightened.
"That sounds great," I was really happy for Gavin.
I mean from what he has told me, he hasn't seen them for two years now and Davina grew depressed as the time passed by, I mean what mother wouldn't, although they might have their own lives that doesn't mean they can just push them out of them.
They would usually FaceTime form time to time, but their sons, Blake and Quinn seemed to be occupied most of the time with work and they didn't even visit on holidays. Plus, them being grandparents they wanted to watch their sons kids grow.
I learned all this when I met Gavin, he's actually the owner of this cafe, after all the place is called after him. I have gotten used to the old man, I enjoy his company just as he seems to enjoy mine.
"Well Gave, I've got to go, got my family waiting for me," I told him as he passed me by usual order, "Tell Davina I said hi."
"Sure thing kid."
Walking over to the table, I made myself comfortable on the seat next to Elijah.
"What took you so long?" Dad asked me, stopping his story about how mom put a women in her place after trying to hit on him.
"Ordered a drink," I told him, motioning over to my coffee.
Nodding his head he continued, "The women seemed to not care making your mom even more angrier, which in result caused your mom to grab her by the hair and drag her."
"Drag her?" I asked stunned.
Dad nodded frantically, "Literally dragged her."
I winced just thinking about it, all the while Elijah laughed putting his hand up for mom to high five which she did.
"I never knew this side of you mom," I told her, "never mind let me say it in other words, I never knew you'd be capable of such thing."
"That women was looking for it with her plastic everything," mom shrugged a shoulder.
A laugh seemed to escape my lips at her words. From there on, they both told us all about their business trip, half way through Elijah took a hold of my hair and started playing with the strands of black, twirling them in between his fingers subconsciously.
It was something he did when we were younger, always said that my hair was so soft.
"Its getting late, Blaze," mom suddenly said interrupting dad mid sentence.
Dad immediately looked down at his watch and his eyes widened, "You're right Raven," he looked at mom before directing his attention to us,
"Sorry kids, we didn't have much time."
"Of course," I muttered under my breath in pure disappointment.
Just as I thought they had made time for us in their busy schedule it seems like they keep on running from a long interaction.
"I'm really sorry kids, I would really love to spend the whole day with you, but we have some things to attend to," mom apologized,
"we just thought it would be great to spend a couple of hours with you guys," she smiled sadly at us.
"It's fine mom, really," Elijah spoke up, "We're just glad you passed by to check up on us, right Blair."
With a nudge to my side, I rolled my eyes internally as a tight smile formed on my face just as mom and dad looked at me in anticipation.
"Yeah." Suck up.
"Great," mom beamed. Both Elijah and I stood up as we hugged them goodbye, and they were soon heading towards the exit.
But before they could make it to the door, mom turned around as if remembering something just now, "Remember about your mommas birthday," she gave us a pointed look,
"I want you guys at home a day before," she declared.
"Yes Ma, we'll be there, no worries," my brother assured her.
Exiting the cafe, I watched as they crossed the street to go over to the parking lot where I guess their car was parked.
"That was quick as always, don't you think Eli?" A smirk formed on my lips as I looked over at the grey eyed boy next to me, who had stopped playing with my hair as soon as mom and dad decided it was time to leave.
Maybe he wasn't mad at me anymore, but as soon as the next words left his mouth I knew that wasn't the case,
"Well, I guess I'll take my leave, wouldn't want anyone from the school seeing us together now would we."
A frown covered most of my face as I stared at him, he couldn't even seem to look me in the eyes as he dodged it and stood up from the seat all the while sighing tiredly.
"Elijah," my voice came out pleading, begging him to listen to what I have to say.
"Blair don't," he stopped me, "Just let it be."
And just like that he turned his back to me and walked off. I stared off to nothing as I thought to how I had ruined our relationship for a petty reason.
I didn't even realize when the old man sat in front of me, "You alright kid?" Looking over his facial features I saw concern written all over them.
"Yeah," I whispered, lying through my teeth.
"No need lying to me. May I remind you that I'm a dad," grinning at me he soon scowled as my demeanor never changed,
"Don't worry too much about it kid, I'm sure he'll soon understand. I mean you're young, you could say you're going through a phase where you're looking for your true self.
I'm sure he did the same, people are different and he has to see it in your point of view, maybe you weren't happy the way you were living life and wanted a change, change is good it helps you grow strong. We cannot become what we want by remaining who we are."
I couldn't stop the smile starting to form as I stared at Gavin with so much appreciation for his words of 'wisdom' as he liked to call them,
"Thanks Gave."
"No problem kiddo," his hand reached out to ruffle my hair and I scrunched up my nose in distaste as I swatted his wrinkly hands away.
"Gavin!" I growled, "Now I need to redo my bun."
Reaching up to my hair, I tried to tame as many hairs as I could, "What do you mean? It looks the same as how I saw it when you came in. A birds nest."
The evil smile on his old face made me glare his way.
"You've taken it too far, too far."