"At the end of the day, you only have yourself. People will never remember everything you did for them, only the things you didn't."
• • •
I was mentally exhausted, this whole week has been consuming to say the least. What, with all the homework and the nightmares.
Just as I thought they were done and over with torturing me, turns out they just keep on coming.
Thinking I would be getting dreams instead was a wrong move, I mean not everything goes my way.
Also the fact that I've been thinking a whole lot about the news my roommate dropped on me this Monday.
I was pretty anxious waiting for the day she finalized the idea of moving, and leaving me here to worry about who would be the next person to occupy her side of the room.
*Flashback*
Opening the door to the dorm, I walked in before closing the door behind me. Just as I was about to walk to my bed, I noticed a silhouette at the corner of my eye.
In a quick movement, I turned my head most likely giving me a whiplash. Looking to where I had seen the figure I was met with Isabella casually scrolling through her phone.
As if feeling my stare, she lifted her blue eyes off the screen in front of her giving me a weirded out expression.
"You scared me," with a hand over my racing heart, I shook my head, "You should tell a girl before they have a heart attack."
"It would've been the same thing," she claimed, shrugging a shoulder as if saying 'it is what is it'.
Feeling my heart rate drop to a normal space, I then looked at the girl who sat on her bed, in confusion, "Thought you'd be with you're boyfriend."
"I was actually waiting for you," putting her phone away, she stood up off her bed making her way towards me.
"Waiting for me? For what?"
"I have to tell you something, and I need you to sit down," with one of her hands she motioned over to the couch as she herself got comfortable.
"Okay?" Doubt ran through me as I sat beside her and watched as she turned on the sofa to look me straight in the eye.
"Are you okay?" I asked her, I mean I'm quite confused as to why she was waiting for me and why we had to sit on the couch when we could have easily stayed where we were couple seconds ago.
Ignoring my previous question she gave me a look as she said, "Promise me you won't freak out," taking out one of her pinky fingers she brought it up close to me.
"Um," backing away from her, I furrowed my brows at her weird way of acting, "What's this about?"
"I'll tell you after you promise me," her pedicured nails shined under the sunlight that came through the window.
Hesitantly, I connected my own pinky with her own making her face brighten in content at my lack of thinking before acting.
"Great!" She exclaimed, the proudness was evident in her eyes as she looked at me, but as of remembering something her face fell.
"Are you going to tell me or?"
"I'm going to move in with my boyfriend!"
"What?!" I shouted, standing up from the couch as if it was on fire, "what do you mean you're moving in with your boyfriend! You barely met him and you're already thinking of moving in!
How is that going to work. Huh? You don't even know much about him! Plus he literally has a roommate, how are you supposed to live with him if he has one? You have to think things through before agreeing, I'm sure it was his idea!"
"Blair, Blair, Blair!"
"What!" I screamed at her in fury, I might have also met the girl not too long ago, but I had gotten accustomed to her loud and annoying self.
What she was saying right now had to do with her impulsiveness, one of her many weaknesses. She just liked to do things without thinking. She thought of her impulsiveness as a way to know the meaning of 'adventure'.
"I think I'm the one to decide wether I move or not. I also think that Travis is the one, I mean it feels like I've known him for so long. He's just so caring and loving.
And just to answer your question, he doesn't have a roommate because he has his own apartment, and yeah he might have been the one to give the idea of me moving in, but it was my choice, he didn't force me to agree immediately!"
"But-"
"Look Blair, I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do, but I think this is going to be great. You might not know this because I haven't told you, but I actually don't have the money to pay the rent of my side of the room and when he offered his apartment it was like a dream come true. All stress lifted off my shoulders."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked her.
"Because it's not something you shouldn't be worrying about," she shrugged.
"Well," I started when an idea came to mind, "if that's the case then I'll pay for your side of the room as well."
"What!" She yelled, "No Blair, I can't accept that!"
"But you can accept living with Tyler," I deadpanned.
Glaring my way she said, "Travis. Look I haven't accepted yet, but I think I might. I can't let you pay for my side of the room it wouldn't be too fair."
"Isabella, it's the same thing as living with him, he will still be paying the rent and you'd be living under his roof for free, why can't you just take my offer instead," I tried to negotiate with her which to my dismay she didn't like.
"No Blair. My final answer is no. Now that I told you about it, I don't care if you don't want me to I am moving in with him. If you'll excuse me, I have people to see," taking a hold of a jacket that was laying on her bed and her phone, she marched towards the door.
"People, more like Taylor," I muttered under my breath.
"It's Travis!" Slamming the door shut behind her, I stood there with a smirk appearing on my face, until I remembered what we had just fought about.
*End of Flashback*
Sighing out a long breath, I closed my eyes before falling down onto my bed. I was glad today was Friday, it meant I had two days to get a break from everything around me.
Just be in my own little world where nobody could come barging in and demand my attention.
"We're going to the bar today and when I say we're I mean we, you and I."
I spoke too soon. Opening one eye to look at the culprit that had the audacity to interrupt me and my thoughts, I found none other than Isabella hovering over me with an overexcited face.
After our little fight she didn't come back until the next day in which she apologized for the short notice and told me that she loves me and respects my opinion, also that she would very much appreciate it if I was on her side.
"I think you've got the wrong girl."
"No, I don't, so how about you bring that nice ass of yours off of bed and get ready, we're leaving in ten," and with that she walked off to I don't even know where.
Groaning I sat up on my bed.
Why? Why couldn't she be rude the first time we met? We wouldn't be here if she would've been rude.
I know damn well, there's no point in fighting her because she will win no matter what. That girl is more stubborn than I'll ever be.
"I don't see you getting ready!"
Saying a few incoherent words under my breath, I sulked over to the closet.
"Oh and I don't want you wearing your normal clothes, I want you to dress to impress!" Her voice became clearer as she came nearer.
And just like I had excepted she walked into the closet, I had barely noticed she already had her makeup on as well as her hair straighten.
Of course, that's why she wasn't worrying too much because she had already done the things that lasted a whole hour to do.
"I'm picking what you're gonna wear."
"Fine by me," starting to walk back out of there, she grabbed onto my arm like a leech.
"Nuh Uh. You're gonna stay right here and tell me what you don't and do like."
"Can't you just pick whatever you like?" I asked her.
"It's not just what I like, you're the one who's going to wear it not me," she told me before showing me a black plaid skirt with white lines running through it.
"This skirt would look cute with," once again looking through her clothes she shrieked in joy when she found what she was looking for I guess.
"This," shoving both items into my hands she hurried me into the bathroom before I could even open my mouth to speak.
You're the one who's going to wear it not me. Pft. So much to let me choose.
Looking over myself in the mirror, I admired how cute these clothes actually were. The plaited skirt was high waisted reaching mid thigh, it accentuated my curves, the bottom of it had small slits. The top was actually a thin turtle neck, with long sleeves that was full on white, which I had tucked underneath the skirt.
I can't believe I'm actually going to be wearing this out. But at the same time the outfit makes me feel like myself again so that makes me overjoyed even for a little while.
Walking out of the bathroom, a gasp was heard from the ginger as she took in my appearance, "You look stunning!"
"Don't I always?" I teased with a smirk.
"Of course, it's just that today you look even more beautiful," to say the least, the girl in front of me was in awe as she looked me over,
"If I was a guy I'd definitely tap that," she winked my way making me let out a snort.
"You don't look too bad yourself," I told her, making her roll her eyes.
"Please, I'm gorgeous."
"Sure," I said playfully.
"Take that back!" She growled, though a smile was tugging at the end of her lips as she gave me a pointed look.
"Never!"
"Then I guess you won't be going out," she shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest as she drummed a finger on her arm, looking away from me to hide the grin on her face.
"That's fine, I'll just stay here and," before I could finish she interrupts me again by saying,
"Dammit Blair, just sit down and put on these heels."
Shoving me the heels, I did as I was told and sat myself down on my desk chair while putting on the black heels.
Once done, we made our way out of the dorm building.
Turns out, when she said we, she didn't just refer to us she also referred to her cute little boyfriend. Gag. Of course, I should've expected this.
Seems like nowadays, everywhere she goes he goes. I mean I have yet to see those two apart from each other.
The blonde boy tried his hardest to make a conversation that involved the three of us in which I didn't cooperate in. I didn't like him and I wasn't going to start now.
So, during the car ride it was mostly Isabella and her boyfriend doing the talking.
The guy sitting in the drivers seat told her how excited he was that she was actually moving in with him and the ginger just followed his lead. When we got to the bar a breath of relief escaped my lips.
I was happy to say the least when Travis stayed behind since he had to look for a parking space, telling us to go ahead and reserve a table for us three, I at least had a couple of minutes without him near me.
I don't know, there was something off with Travis. All that nice act seems just that, an act. He gives me the creeps and that is definitely not a good sign especially now that Isabella is going to be living with him.
But I can't just start an argument again, it's a night where I could just relax after a long exhausting week. I needed to let go and enjoy the night as much as I can.
And just like Elsa once said, 'Let it go'. For once in my life, I just wanted to do just that, let go. When people told me college was hard, I didn't think they'd meant this difficult and stressing, more stressing than anything.
As the ginger and I approached the door to the bar, we got a couple of stairs from guys in which we returned nasty glares their way.
That is until I found two pairs of blue eyes not looking my way, but at the eyes of the girl in front of them.
"Oh look it's Jayden and Emma," Isabella spoke from besides me, startling me.
Giving her a raised eyebrow, I asked, "You know them?" I was quite surprised to say the least.
"Yeah, I mean I am older than you," she told me in a 'duh' tone,
"We should say hi!" She exclaimed with a bright smile on her face.
"And why would we do that?"
"Because we are respectful and when we see friends we greet them like friends do," the way she said every word made me feel like a three year old.
"Well then, since they're your friends how about you go say hi," giving her a tight smile, I motioned with my hand for her to go, "I'll wait here."
"No, you're coming with me," she grounded out, grabbing a hold of my arm she dragged me with her towards their direction.
"Hey guys!" The ginger chirped in pure happiness as she stared at her friends.
"Oh hey Bella!" The fiery red head which I now know her name is Emma told her with the same enthusiasm, "Who's this?"
All attention turned towards me as I stared back at the hazel eyes of the red head, "The name's Blair," I introduced myself before Isabella could speak.
"OMG! I love your name!" Emma beamed at me, and then her eyes roamed over my outfit as she shrieked, "Your beautiful too! Isn't she Jayden!"
Nudging the brown haired boy besides her, he seemed to have been in some type of trance as he widened his eyes at the force,
"Huh? Uh, yeah, she looks," his blue eyes checked me out before continuing, "gorgeous."
The way he said the word made my stomach do a flip, his voice came out above a whisper that if I wasn't listening to his every word, I wouldn't have heard him because of the loud music coming out of the place besides us.
"Thanks," I smiled warmly at the pair.
"How about we head on in girls," a new voice spoke up coming from behind us making me roll my eyes to Isabella's dismay and the amusement of the people in front of me.
And just like that, the night is back to being at its worst.
Hopefully when we enter, I get to ignore him and just spend my time having the best night of my life partying with my friend who might as well leave me for her boyfriend.
This was such a bad idea. No backing out now.
"Well then, have a good time guys," Emma told us, her smile never leaving her face as she turned to me,
"I'm Emma by the way."
Giving her a nod she took it as an answer.
"Are you gonna head inside?" Isabella asked them.
"In a little bit, just waiting for some friends," Jayden replied to her question, seeming to be back to his normal self.
"And my boyfriend," Emma added in as she bit her bottom lip.
"Ah, Caden," Isabella told her nodding, "well seems like y'all are gonna be out here for more than a little bit."
As if on cue, a guy ran up to Emma from behind as he hugged her and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck inhaling her hair.
"You're on time!" Emma seemed surprised at the boy who still didn't let go of her and seemed to push her against him even more.
"You guys are so cute," the ginger gushed at them, making Emma's pale complexion turn full on red, and I watched as the guy behind her lifted his head a little revealing a faint amount of blush covering his cheeks.
"Shut up," he grumbled once again burying his face into his girlfriends hair.
"Aww, is little Eliot blushing," a voice I never heard before said teasingly.
Now putting more attention to my surroundings, I noticed there were three more guys who I'm guessing came with Emma's boyfriend.
One of them being Noah, of freaking course. Wherever one goes the other goes. Where's Elijah though?
"Shut it Sebastian," Eliot demanded, sending daggers to the boy who's eyes were just like my brother's.
"Can you two not fight for once?" Another one butted in, shushing the two who were about to start an argument nonetheless.
"I'm not the one who starts them and you know it, Adrian," Eliot told the brown eyed guy who had his arms crossed against his chest.
"Alright, alright, how about we just head inside," Jayden told them in which the boys agreed and happily bounced over to the bar's door.
Completely ignoring Isabella and I, and you could say her boyfriend, but it's not like nobody ignored him on purpose.
Feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders I found myself looking up at none other than Noah of all people, "Well hello Princess, don't you look heavenly tonight,"
Laughing at the fact he had tried to use a British accent that went completely wrong, he himself laughed with me as we walked inside the bar.
"Didn't I tell you to back off, buddy," I more than stated, as I patted down on his chest in fake sympathy.
Ignoring my words he smirked down at me, "If you wanted to touch me, all you had to do was say the word."
Scrunching up my nose in distaste I pushed him away from me, which I didn't quite succeed as he didn't move an inch making him chuckle amongst himself,
"You wish."
"I mean a guy can dream," he sighed dramatically as he looked down at me, at that my lips started tugging up, but I bit down onto my bottom one to stop myself as I looked anywhere but him,
"You can smile you know."
"No, I will not stoop so low."
Rolling his light brown eyes, he focused them on me again, "And just so you know, you said you weren't interested, but I can change that."
"Yeah, I don't think you can," I tapped his nose making him look at it cross eyed, "you're not my type."
Stalking away from him, I made myself comfortable on one of the stools at the bar. I may not be legal yet, but it doesn't mean that I don't have a fake ID.
Showing the bartender the ID, she was quickly convinced in which I ordered my drink, a margarita.
"On the rocks?" The women on the other side of the counter asked me, nodding my head she commenced on my drink.
I watched the whole process attentively as I didn't have anything better to do, at the end I watched her as she put salt around the edge of the cup as well as a slice of lemon.
"Thanks," smiling at the lady, she passed a smile herself that reached her eyes. She seemed like a nice person.
Slowly sipping down my drink, I analyzed the dance floor before me, preparing myself for what's to come once I enter it.
After ordering three more margaritas and finishing the drink that was currently in my hand, I had the courage to walk into the huge crowd, not even thinking of looking for Isabella I decided to dance on my own.
Moving my hips at the rhythm of the music, I let go as I let the music guide me. Soon after, I felt someone come close to me from behind, placing both my hands on the unknowns persons neck, I closed my eyes as I leaned back into their warmth.
Suddenly hearing my name being called I opened my eyes to find Isabella waving me over from the bar hesitantly as the rest looked at stranger and I's close proximity in amusement.
Looking up at my dance partner, his brown eyes were already looking down at me, "My friends are calling me over, it was nice dancing with you though."
Passing him a wide smile, I winked over at him as I had to admit he was cute. A sad smile covered his face as he let me go, "Hopefully we see each other again. Shall we let the universe decide that for us."
Laughing at his last cheesy line he himself laughed.
And just like that he let me walk away from him as he himself walked out of the crowd, though going the opposite side.
"What's up?" I asked the ginger totally unbothered by the fact I had just left the cute stranger for a reason I wasn't even sure was valid enough.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, but," bringing something to my sight, I looked down at it to see my phone in her hands, "Some person named Axel called, didn't know if it was urgent or not."
"Axel?" Shock was written on my features as I took the phone from her extended hand.
Turning on the screen to my phone I did in fact have a missed call from Axel, "Boyfriend?" Emma smirked my way wiggling her eyebrows.
"More like an old friend," I told her.
"You sure about that?" Noah questioned, "Because from the look on your face he seems like someone who is really important to you."
Shrugging my shoulders I said, "I'm going to head to the bathroom real quick, I'll be back."
"Totally whipped!" I heard one of the guys whom I was yet to meet shout over at the others.
It didn't matter as I dialed Axel back placing the phone to my ear waiting patiently for his voice to fill my hearing, as I covered my other ear with my finger to block out the music.
"Blair?" I could clearly hear the shock in his voice which I understood, after all we haven't talked since our graduation.
"Hey Axel, you called?"
I was met with silence before his words came tumbling down, "I- uh, I, yeah," he finally said, "I missed you."