Frizabelle
Tuesday – Morning
'Until the day you want me into your life. I won't do anything for now. I love you my queen Belle.'
I heard Ceres whispering in my ears but I don't know if this was a dream or not and I wish it wasn't a dream. I like the sound of her voice even though her scent irritates me big time – I'm the only wolf girl who really hates her mate's scent. Her scent was okay for a normal one like it was a scent of flowers or anything good but to me it was different. Seriously, her sweet scent of chocolate I like that but it has a tingling scent of blood that made me wanna puke but overall her scent was not so good on my sense of smell yet this scent was the only one that can lure me in even more like falling in love – wait! In love? Oh no! It was getting best out of me.
4:30 am
I groaned as I woke up from weird thoughts from that dream-real with her. I was half asleep when I rolled onto my bed then wide awake when I felt that I was alone.
"Great, living without saying goodbye or even a note." I frowned as I went back to sleep but I can't. I'm totally wide awake now.
I'm irritated since she's not around but who cares anyway. I stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take my morning routine there first but to my surprise, I noticed some familiar clothes laying on the floor - scattered to be exact. I followed the trail and it ended up on the tub, there I saw the person I've been looking for. Ceres was laying in the tub, soaking herself for some reason I didn't know. She was sleeping and the more I got closer, I noticed that she was naked which made me feel hot since it was my first time seeing her nude. The heat was creeping out from my body again which made me shake my head before I took some courage to get close to her to check if she's dead or alive. When my hand touched her shoulder to wake her, I felt how cold she was.
"Cold? She supposed to be cold-warm, right?" I asked as I felt her temperature with my hand.
She was still asleep. I distanced myself for a moment to think until I reached the water and it was too damn cold. Is she freezing?
"Ceres…" I called her but did not respond.
"Ceres." I repeated as I shook her big time but nothing.
"CERES!" I snapped as I called her name but still, no response made me slap her face but still nothing. It was getting into me and making me at the edge.
Her no response made me worried even though I shook her like a toy already and still nothing. I started to panic, which made me slap her again since I don't know what to do. I began to cry.
"Ceres…" I sobbed as I tried to take her out of the tub and still did not respond. Nothing, but coldness.
"No. Please no. Not again. Please. No. Ceres…" I whined as I cried on her numbness and lifeless body.
Lena began to howl within my thoughts. I knew she felt it too. The coldness coming from Ceres like she's dead-dead and it's freaking me out. I'm starting to feel the fear raging within me and I felt weak over it.
I already took her out of the tub and caressed Ceres within my arms as I cradled her. I don't care if she's going to soak my clothes, I just need to hold her in my arms as I tried not to cry but I can't stop my tears from falling. Ceres was still not moving. She's here but no warm, no breathing, not even her heartbeat – I can't hear her. I want her. I need her.
"Lena…can you reach her? Please. I don't want to lose her. Please." I begged Lena not with our link but in normal talking.
Lena nodded as she tried to reach Ceres yet there's nothing. I waited for an hour and it was still nothing. I feared that I'm going to lose my mate like this.
"Ceres…oh, please…open your eyes…please…" I cried to her and started hugging her until Mom and the others rushed onto my room and to my bathroom.
I looked at them with such sorrow as I caressed Ceres onto my arm. Nate, Ethan and Yume along with my Dad were in such a sorry face and Mom…
"Mom…Ceres…" I mumbled as I kept on crying.
"She's…still here but not…" Mom said in her calm state yet worrying over Ceres condition.
"Mom, what do you mean?" I asked.
"Remember what I said that she's in the limbo?" Mom reminded me about the last encounter with the soul of Ceres. I nodded.
"Well, she's in there – waiting and it will keep going until she can't remember anything and loses everything that includes you, baby." Mom explained to me in such a calm but sad voice that made me even more in fear.
I fear losing her again. I feared that I won't be able to see her eyes and hear her lovely voice that made me feel the comfort and the cold-warm arms that protected me even cradled in my sleep. I don't want Ceres to leave me, that's the part of me I can't ignore. I hugged Ceres closer to me as I kept crying. I racked her within my arms. I hugged her tighter. Lena howled as she cried with me as well.
"Its my fault…" I mumbled.
I looked into her paled-white skin and caressed them. I sadly smile looking at her as I wish I was honest with her even though I knew to myself I'm not like that but around her; just the two of us maybe I can. Slowly, I leaned closer to her then the lips of mine brushed to hers. Whatever I felt, I put on that kiss. Everything that I hid from her was in that kiss. Every wish, every dream, every encounter with her, every time that I'm with her alone, in every irritation, in every day she's with me and from the very first we've seen each other, I'm not regretting all of them. Vampire or rogue or whatever, as long it's her, my ringing thoughts will be always her.
"I love you…" I whispered to her ear then kissed her forehead until the last drop from my tears fell on her chick and made me hug her again.
"Honey, we're going to leave you to say your goodbye…" Dad said which made me glare at him.
"Just leave please. Leave me alone with her." I growled to my father which he apologized for saying that but he knew that Ceres life was gone. But not to me. Not yet at lease.
They left me with a sorry face but I didn't care; instead, I carried lifeless Ceres body back into my bed and let her lay down there. I took the liberty to wipe her naked body and put some decent clothing so she won't get cold if ever she could. When I was done, I covered her with my comforter before I watched her carefully. But I never realized that my tears were already falling down from my eyes.
"This is not happening…" I mumbled as I caressed her sleeping face but lifeless body.
'I...can believe we lost our mate…just like that.'
As I heard that from Lena, my heart began to shatter bit by bit which made me walk to my balcony window and stared back at Ceres. I cried with my whole heart which made my knees give up on me and let me sit on the ground of my balcony. The heaviness in my chest, my heart must be out and I hope she could hear me even if it's just a dream.
It was simple day for me
I was bored but still fine
Then suddenly irritation emerged
You showed up then it started.
Meeting you with bloody dirt
A loving wolf began to cry
I don't like the idea at all
But it's you that happens.
Just one you happened
Feelings I do not know
You made me feel them
I hate it but it's you.
What can I do?
You just came into my life.
What should I do?
You changed me just like that.
Vampire or wolf
Has nothing to do with it
Mate or not, I don't care anymore
You made me feel love.
You, you made me love you
Take responsibility for that.
Don't leave just like that.
Don't just break me like that.
Hear me now, please.
Please, don't let my love be wasted.
Everything will fall apart
Don't just die on me like that.
My Celestial, everything I have
Everything I own even being
Will be just for you
Just please, come back to me; in my life.
I cried as I confessed my hidden feelings for her in free-verse poetry form then pulled my knees together closer to my chest as I kept on crying. I just sat there, waiting. Hoping that she'll wake up even part of me saying she's gone but my love for her was not giving up just like that.
"Oh, Ceres…be responsible for…making me love you…" I hissed as I cried on my knees.
CERES
Being asleep within my inner core wasn't a good idea but I managed until I felt something warm touch my forehead and I knew it was her. I love the way she touches me but not now since I was in heat that's why I'm at the tub to cool myself – restrained myself from touching her. I don't want to jumped on and rape her. But I kept sleeping even though I knew she's worried about me yet those slapping of hers, really hurts and she even shook me really hard like I am a toy which made my whole body numb.
"Is she stupid? I'm getting dizzy over it." I thought as I kept myself in my core.
She was indeed worried and panicking since I'm not responding from what she thought it was going to wake me. I've decided not to wake up yet to pay her back from shaking me like I'm a thing plus I want to play a little prank on her. But truth to be told, my real reason was I'm repairing my heat within me. So, in short, I'm sleeping but half not that's why I can still feel and say whatever she's feeling by now. But what happened next was the thing I never thought she would do.
I felt her lips on mine. I know I love it and I wanted to return it but my heat was raising up again which was not even a good thing, for now. I might do something to her that she might not like which I don't like to happen at all. I don't want her to reject me, not when my heart was already in her hands. As I let myself get cold down, I felt that she carried me back into her bed and even wiped me clean. I don't mind that she was seeing me nude right now because her touches really soothes me. It was calming me but what took me off guard when she caressed my face and heard her sniffing. She was in pain and it was because of me but I just can't wake up yet when my heat was still on the hot spot. Then I heard her words which made me feel her entire feelings for me and feared that she's going to lose me for good because of what was happening to me. But her last thought really made me happy.
'Oh, Ceres…be responsible for…making me love you…'
"Heh, like I thought…" I smirked and now I think I could definitely cold down knowing that she really does feel it too.