Chereads / The Edge of Desire / Chapter 22 - We All Gotta Die Sometime

Chapter 22 - We All Gotta Die Sometime

Jax

I felt like a horrible husband and father asking Chris to take Amelia to her appointments, even if it was only twice. I should be taking her to them, yeah it was just measuring and checking her cervix but those were my babies and my wife. It seemed though just as we were settling in things began to blow up. We ran into Amelia's piece of shit of an excuse father, couple weeks ago she ran into her shitty ex and now there was issues going on at Dragon security. As much as I wanted to ignore the situations I could not, if I did it would show my father I was not there. Although, I think that was his plan or someone else, it was all to convenient for my liking.

I had talked with Robin and Layne about my concerns when the first issue at Dragon rose up. They agreed that things were uneasy for them, even though there was no sign of my father or any of his men. Someone was testing out my software and trying to break into it. It was infuriating that someone was doing this, and it hurt to see Amelia break piece by piece over the weeks. She was on bed rest and starting to get into a horrible headspace. She was not fully depressed but close to it. Chris and I did everything we could to keep her spirits up and occupied on other things.

The three of us were becoming sexually frustrated as well as normally. When Amelia was napping or sleeping I worked to find out more about Phillip, Dean and whoever was trying to hack into my software. Sleep was not my friend especially with Amelia not sleeping well. I was convinced the twins were night owls because they were very active at night. There was times I was certain one of them could have broken Amelia's ribs or busted out in general. I would try to nap when she did or move to the couch in our room to try and get comfortable. I never wanted to be too far from her.

One morning I was up the same time as Chris and made it to the kitchen half asleep without tripping. "you look like shit man."

Chris handed me some coffee. "Thanks asshole" I sipped the coffee and almost moaned from its earthy taste. "I haven't been able to sleep much or even focus much."

"No closer to figuring out this mess with Phillip, Dean and maybe your father?"

I looked up from my coffee. "Nope and it's pissing me off. I don't want to feel like I am just a paranoid man but"

"You have that uneasy feeling too?"

I nodded in agreement with Chris, things were just too much of coincidence. I sat down at the island in our kitchen while staring into my coffee. I could feel Chris sit next down to me. He placed a his hand on my thigh, such a simple touch made my cock twitch. I know he was feeling the same way, but we agreed no sex until Amelia was cleared. And fuck was it hell, I felt better knowing Amelia was the same way. Regardless of how many orgasms we gave her orally, our girl was craving our cocks. We were craving her too, but it could wait.

"Ghost is supposed to be coming in a few days to meet with me about the possible hacks. Down fall is that they are coming when Amelia has her next appointment." I looked back at Chris. "You wouldn't mind taking her again?"

"Dude, she's my girl too, not as much as yours but I don't mind taking her." He was sincere for it. "I would do anything for her as long as it meant her safety."

We nodded in agreement at it. The day Robin and Layne were to show up I had the feeling of dread even more. Something was not sitting right with me; I was on edge and wanted to keep pacing. I barely acknowledge kissing Amelia goodbye when she left for her appointment. My heart swelled as I watched her walk out the door, she was incredibly sexy with her growing body, something about her caring my children was just irresistible. She could wear a brown burlap sack and I would still find her sexy.

Once I heard them leave the driveway I headed down to our offices, I had pictures of her ex, Philip, and my father all over a board. I had managed to find that there was some connection but still no clue on what. The hacks into Dragon were just a distraction and testing me to my limits. I was missing something, and it was driving me insane. I was so lost in thought that I did not notice Robin and Layne enter until Layne said something.

"Adams you look like absolute garbage." He approached me and patted my back. "How many hours of sleep are you running on?"

My finger was up by my lip as I was trying hard not to bite it for some odd reason. "From the day? Umm I think four hours. The week? I have no clue." I looked back to Layne. "Shit I barely know what day it is."

I quickly filled them in on what was going on and what I had found. We were able to patch in some things that were missing. My father had his private investigator look into Amelia's past, regardless of where we went one of them would have found her. It was sickening and unsettling, he was literally going as far as he could. Between the three of us we had agreed the only thing that made sense was he was wanting the twins now, weather it was to be used against me or in some fucked up situation he was going to raise the babies.

I did not realize how much time had gone by, but my phone ringing seemed to ground me quickly. I looked at the screen and it read 'Dr. Navarro' fear was coursing through me with many different scenarios.

"Navarro is everything okay?" I managed to rush out. No time for greetings or pleasantries because there was only one reason he would call.

"Adams, I was wondering if Amelia remembered she had an appointment today?"

Confusion and fear rocked me. "She left over two hours ago; she should be home any minute." I looked at Robin and Layne who were listening now. "Are you saying she never showed?"

"That is correct, she never showed, and I was worried because it isn't like her to miss." I thanked Navarro for alerting me. I put my phone away and went into protector mode. My wife and partner were possibly missing and hurt.

I called Chris's phone and was greeted with his voicemail. I hung up and called Amelia, I had the same thing. Straight to voicemail. I shot a worried look to Robin and Layne. Before I knew it Robin was on the phone.

"I don't care what it takes, I need eyes on the streets and find a specific car." I am not sure who she was talking with, but she was barking orders at the other person to find them.

I was now pacing, trying to call Chris again but no matter how many times I called he never answered. There was even more darkness setting into me now, it was a couple months all over again when Amelia disappeared. This time I knew she did not just run off because clearly she was due any day now and would not risk leaving. More negative thoughts went through me, what if they were in a car crash and it was actually just an accident. Everything screamed that this was all wrong. I received another call from a Des Moines number that I did not recognize.

"This is Adams." I answered smoothly.

The male voice on the other ended spoke "Mr. Adams this is officer Welsh with the Des Moines police. I am sorry to ask this from you, but we are needing you to come downtown."

"Is there something wrong officer?"

The officer paused. "We were dispatched to an accident a couple of hours ago and found a gentlemen with your information as emergency contact." He paused again "We are needing you to come identify the gentlemen."

My world was crashing down around me. I was being asked to come identify Chris's body. The words jumped out before I could think. "Was there a pregnant women with him?"

"No Mr. Adams. We only found him."

"Officer Welsh my pregnant wife was with him and he was taking her to an appointment. The doctor called saying they never made it. If my wife is not in that car or anywhere near then she is missing."

The officer then urgently pressed that I come down and talk with him. I looked at Layne and Robin, thankfully they heard most of it and knew what we were up against.

Robin approached me and touched my shoulder. "I will stay back and begin searching for her through the cameras. I will also get a team ready to find her."

Layne had agreed to come with me to the police station. I do not remember the car ride at all. I was mentally in a horrific mind state, even Layne was somber. I was in denial, there was no way I was going to see my friend lying on a slab. There was going to be some mix up and they some how arrested him instead or maybe it was not him. Just mistaken identity.

When I arrived Officer, Welsh greeted me and Layne. He asked if I was ready, I do not remember nodding or even agreeing but we headed downstairs to clearly where the morgue was. The hallway was too bright for something so somber and it smelled of pure bleach. You would think that it would be a scene from a horror movie or something, but it was not. When we entered there was a body on the slab covered in the typical white sheet. The officer looked at me before he spoke.

"We didn't find his body in a great state so please be prepared for it." I only nodded again and swallowed hard.

When he pulled the sheet back my heart broke. There laid my best friend, all battered and bruised. I had seen him ruffed up before from bar fights, sparring and even shot up at. This, however, was different, there was no color to him as he clearly was gone. Despite being cleaned up his cuts were still obvious, and lord knows what he looked like neck down. The officer covered his face back up again and I confirmed that indeed was my best friend. The officer then lead us back to his office to discuss what they had found. My stomach turned when he described the scene, they had found Chris outside of the car that was clearly hit by another car. They were already looking into his death because clearly he was alive after the impact and felt unloading a clip into him was needed. They showed that his gun was found next to him, so my friend went down with a fight trying to save Amelia. He vowed he would die fighting for us, stupid idiot did not have to take it literally.

I then went on to explain that Amelia was with him. The officer had agreed that there was video footage from a traffic cam with her in the car before the crash but nothing after. No video footage of the surrounding area to show her walking away or leaving. Clearly someone was intending to take her and there was a struggle. Chris had defense wounds on him, so he went down swinging trying to stop whoever was after them. It did not help anything though, my best friend was gone from this world, my wife was missing, and she was due any day.

When the officer had told us, he could not do much until they knew that she did not run off there was not anything they could do. This alone set off Layne, he clearly pulled out the 'I have higher authority'

"I am sorry Officer Welsh, but I don't believe a word you are saying." Layne pulled out his badge and showed the officer. The officers eyes widen "Now I am wanting complete corporation from your force if needed or to not question us while we are here." He cleared his voice "Mrs. Adams would not run away from home when she was due any day, just finished working on their nursery and especially since she was under our protection. So, you will give us what we are needing."

The officer swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, Agent Parker. I will have my men on this and help you in any way possible."

They shook hands and we left the police station. I had Chris's possessions in my hands and the little tag that indicated personal belongings from a cadaver was depressing. I had made it into the car with the guidance of Layne, the drive home was just as somber. My emotions were now all over the place, I was devastated, depressed, angry, scared, and worried. I wanted to rage worse than what I did when Amelia left, thoughts had gone through my head to find those smug bastards of her past and to hold a gun to their head demanding what they knew. I wanted to walk right into my father's layer and blow it to pieces, take him down just like he had.

When we made it into my house I walked straight to the gym and went to town on the bag. Punch after punch brought more feelings out then I was ready for. Each hit created a sting to my knuckles, I was stupid to not tape up, but I wanted to feel the pain. One more hit and I could feel the tears stinging behind my eyes as the image of my friend flashed in front of me. Another hit and the tears fell just as my knees hit the floor. I needed to keep my shit together and find Amelia but the other half that could keep me going and keep my head in it was now gone. This feeling of dread was still hovering though, I knew she was in danger, she was probably scared but she was also probably giving her captors hell. It brought a smirk to my face to think she would be fighting them.

A delicate brown hand touched my shoulder, as I looked up I was met with dark brown eyes full of so much emotions but mostly empathy. "Jax, I know you're hurting something fierce right now." I scoffed at her comment. "But I have found something to help us find her." She now had my attention.

"What did you find Robin?" It was almost a whisper and hesitant like I was afraid to ask. She only ushered me into the office, typing on a keyboard she pulled up a video footage onto the screen.

"I was able to pull some security footage from a business next to the accident." Her face was full of sadness as she pushed play and my stomach dropped to see a man who looked like Dean pulling the lifeless body of Amelia out of the car. "I know this doesn't confirm if she is alive but what else I found does."

She showed me a transaction that was made, a doctor from my father's team was flown out to Iowa. Pictures showed Phillip picking him up from the airport yesterday and getting into an unmarked car. This whole thing was planned, and my suspicions were correct that my fucking father was behind it all. I did not care what his end game was because I would stop it all and bring him down for good. The next forty-eight hours was hell and only fueled my anger more. I had camped out on the couch in the office, only to eat when Robin or Layne brought me food and slept when I could. It only was met with that terrible nightmare I had before shit went south or the image of my friend's body and the footage of Dean pulling Amelia out of the car. It was never ending so it was why I only slept once I passed out.

At the end of forty-eight hours, a team had arrived and was filled in. After the debriefing alarms were going off in the office, jolting myself, Robin and Layne awake. We all had fallen asleep going over the plan, the screens lit up showing a car with a face I had grown familiar with. Philip was reusing a vehicle he had used to pick up the doctor. Amelia said he was stupid, but I did not think that stupid. I was clearly wrong and owed my love an apology. Layne dispatched a team to follow Phillip while we got ready.

I was currently gearing up and going through my routine, bullet proof vest on, guns attached to my sides, the necklace Amelia bought tucked under my shirt, her picture and now the latest one of the twins in my vest pocket. While on my way out our secret facility I caught my reflection, I almost did not recognize myself. I had some scruff going on, bags under my eyes and my hair was slicked back a bit. I looked at the reflection and vowed to it that we would get her back at all costs. I had made it to where Robin, Layne and I had been camping out when my phone and the room began blaring with sirens.

I rushed to the computer, punching in my code as the two agents came up to me clearly asking me what was going on. I only ignored them because I could not think only focus on this siren going off. The screen loaded up showing that the emergency tracking device the three of us put in our phones was being activated. It took merely seconds to see it was hers going off, more seconds went by and I had her location. She was moving, which meant she was alive. I did not even pay attention to the shouting around me as I darted to garage. My feet could not move fast enough as I launched into the fastest car we had. I smiled knowing that Amelia would give me shit for taking the Charger out, but we needed the fastest possible.

I peeled out of the garage, gunning it as fast as I could. I know I was not thinking things through, it could be a trap for all I know. The call coming in through the car only proved that I was not thinking clearly.

"Layne, I can't hesitate. We told each other to only activate those trackers if it was absolutely needed."

"I know Jax." He paused as I could hear Robin talking and the sounds of a car. "That is why we aren't too far behind you. Just don't do anything hasty until we get there."

"No fucking promises Layne. They are the only things left in my life I would die for. I lost Chris already and I can't lose either of them."

"We get it. Just watch your back until we get there."

I ended our call and floored it again. This time I took advantage of the lights and sirens that were on this car. I had a wicked grin on my face because it felt kind of cool to have these on. The car beeped to indicate I was just minutes away from her, which meant I needed to cool it and not take away the element of surprise. I had come upon a warehouse that screamed horror scene but the scene in front of me was not any better. I slammed onto my breaks stopping just feet away from my Amelia being held by the douche with a knife to her throat. She was terrified beyond reason and it just screamed across her face.

I was assessing her from the car, while I held my gun straight. I do not even remember pulling out my gun, but I was gripping it tight now. I could see her groaning and trying not to double over in pain. Clearly she was in pain and needed medical attention but to the extent I was not sure.

"You aren't going to get her!" Dean shouted while pushing the knife to her throat more.

"Dean, I have no idea what my father has on you or the reason why you are doing this, but it isn't worth it." I was gripping my gun even harder; my senses were on high alert now with the adrenaline surging to where I could hear the cars barreling in around us and a small whimper escape from her lips.

"I just want the money he is offering me! I don't care about this whore you call of a wife." I was now raging. "You just get my sloppy seconds."

I am not sure why, but my eyes caught Amelia's as she looked down to show a knife tucked behind her wrist. I nodded at her, somehow she knew to just wait until I was ready for what was about to happen. I adjusted my stance and gripped my gun more as I nodded for her to attack. She quickly jerked the knife backwards into Dean. The second her arm moved I was bolting to her; the warmth of her body was the most comforting thing I could ever have wanted right now.

"I've got you love. You're safe now." I was stroking her hair and cradling her body to me. I did not want to let her go ever.

I looked over her and saw the team wrestling Dean into cuffs while he shouted lord knows what. Robin and Layne had come up to us when Layne began barking orders to the team before he turned to me.

"You need to get her to the hospital to make sure everything is okay. All of what happened could not have been good for her or the babies."

"You're right Layne. I will take her right away and keep you updated."

As I was getting ready to move Amelia bent over screaming and gripping my biceps. Lord she had a grip on her, but her face was reading that she was in pain and startled. I could hear something trickle onto the ground and even more fear was radiating off of her.

"I don't need to get checked out Jax because I can tell you already I am in labor and my water just broke." Shit. I was not prepared for this, far from it. In my mind I was only set on getting her into my arms not to become a dad yet. I felt a sting come to my face "Jax! I need you mentally here!"

"I am sorry Amelia" I threw my keys to Layne who was just as surprised as I was. "Take us to the hospital Layne" My thought was to now scoop Amelia into my arms, she did not even protest to it and leaned into my body. When I placed her into the car I looked to Robin. "I will keep you updated and send Layne back once we know it's safe."

When I got into the back with Amelia it looked like she was a million miles away. She looked towards to me reaching for my hand and looked right at her. I gently cupped her face and caressed her soft cheek. "Jax I am so scared." That was far from a lie. Fuck, I was scared too. I was excited to have these babies but not right now, despite the doctor saying she could deliver any day.

"Shh baby it will be okay, we got this." I am not sure where that confidence came from, but it worked to calm her. I placed my hand on her belly and gently caressed it. These two would be in our arms soon. As I was doing this I could feel her stomach tighten which set off a reaction of her curling forward, gripping my hand and screaming more. Another contraction. Shit we were supposed to keep track of how long they were apart. My eyes caught Layne and his face was worried as well. "Just focus on breathing baby, you need to breath."

It was a whisper from her almost that brought me back to focus on her even more. "Where is Chris?"

Fuck that was really something I was not ready to talk about with her. I could not even admit it to myself that he was gone. "Let's focus on these babies first."

She was crying now, shit. I was a mess myself but neither one of us could afford to lose focus on anything. Getting these two out into the world was our priority. I could not break her heart right now or even admit it to myself. Thankfully, we had made it to the hospital, it only took fifteen minutes to get to our hospital and thankfully the doctor was waiting for us. I was carrying her to the private suite that he had set up for us. There were Ghost agents around the room to make sure we were safe. I had broke it down for Navarro on what had happened. I honestly did not know if she was drugged or given anything that was not safe for her.

I sat her down on the bed and began helping her into a gown when Navarro began firing off questions to Amelia, I think she needed the conversation because she was zoning out. He asked how long she had been in labor, if any drugs were administered to her, when her water broke and how she was feeling. A chuckle came out of her and it was kind of scary.

"How do I feel?! I am in pain, tired, swollen and want these kids out of me!!" She clearly was unhappy about that question.

I came up to Amelia and stroked her head, pushing her hair to the side. I placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Baby you need to take a couple of breaths." Thankfully, she did and eased a bit more.

Dr. Navarro went to the other side of her bed and began looking through the papers, equipment and lord knows what. I noticed the screen the held her blood pressure and heart rate, from times in the hospital I knew the average pressure a person was supposed to have. Clearly hers' was high and even her heart rate was too high. My eyes caught his and I knew it was not good, I only nodded in agreement. He turned to his nurse and asked for a medication. It sounded familiar to me but could not remember what it was used for.

He looked back at us. "So, I am not liking Amelia's blood pressure and heart rate. It is all over the place which is putting stress on the babies. I have a plan, but you may not be a huge fan of it Amelia, however, I have faith that it will be what's best for the three of you."

I clearly understood what was at stake but needed to not let it show. I was holding her hand now, afraid to let go. "Whatever you need to do doc I am okay with. As long as it ensures my wife and kids are safe."

He broke it all down it was only mild sedative and anxiety medicine to help bring her down from the stress. She also needed rest because clearly the babies were coming, and they were going to prolong it as much as they could. Navarro ensured she would only be out for a short time. He said they would be here with in the day but that was not accurate, I could tell he was lying. I caught movement to the side as the nurse administered the medication to her I.V. Her body language changed quickly as she was starting to get sleepy.

I stroked her forehead again. "It's okay Amelia, I won't leave your side. Get some rest." I kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep. When I realized she was out and resting I looked to the doctor. "Give it to me straight Navarro. I've lost my best friend just a few days ago, I can't lose my wife and babies."

He looked over her information before talking to me. "Honestly Jax, I am worried, but I promise you I won't lose any of them." He came up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "It will be touch and go honestly. Her blood pressure is close to stroke level and their heart beats are becoming stressed as well. I want to do a c-section when all else fails because I think delivering could help her mentally. However, the medicine I gave her will keep her out until we are ready, but I felt like your babies will have the final say."

I chuckled; they were already doing things on their own terms. "How much time do you think we really have Navarro?"

He informed me that he needed to check her cervix soon before he could determine that, after a few minutes he explained that we had at least eight hours, but he wanted her awake before then. I agreed to it all because honestly I was not sure on any of it. This was all new to me and even Amelia. So, for now it was just a waiting game. I perched myself next to her bed, placed my hand on her belly and her forehead. My whole life was in my hands now, well actually the doctor but still. I was all so scared of it all, I needed my partner or my friends, but we were now secluded from everyone.

A nurse came in to check her vitals again, her expression was sincere "Hon you should get some rest while you can. She will need you well rested as much as she needs to be." As much as I hated she was right. So laid my head down next to her hand and shut my eyes.

The dream I had was clearly false and just that a dream. Because in the dream there was Chris, he was holding my son and telling him stories of the things we did when we were kids. In another scene my daughter and son were running around laughing asking their uncle to pick them up while Amelia stood there with a swollen bump again smiling as we played with the kids. She came up to me, gently rubbing my cheek, I held it to my face and kissed her palm. "Jax" is all she said. It was a whisper but full of love that poured out of her.

I felt my hair being smoothed back when I heard her voice again. "Jax sweety." I looked up to her beautiful face. Despite the hours of sleep, she still looked so tired. "Hey"

I smiled at the simple greeting. It was stupid but I loved it beyond all reason. I kissed her hand like I did in my dream. "My love, are you feeling a tad better."

She nodded and bit her bottom lip. "Yeah the doctor came in a little bit ago, my blood pressure is finally down and he was okay with waking me up. However, Layne said to not wake you just yet."

"Layne came in?"

"Yeah he wanted to check up on us, he told me you barely had slept in the past couple of days. So I let you rest for a bit longer." She smoothed my hair again and looked so lovingly towards me.

I picked on her on how calm she was during this whole process now which she explained they had given her some pain medications and the anxiety meds were still in her system. I had managed to get three hours of sleep with it all, Navarro had come in to explain we had maybe an hour or so before it was time. That was scarry but I was now ready. That dream helped me realize that not all was lost.

The next couple of hours went by a blur despite the constant hand clenching and screaming coming from this woman. I know she was hoping for some pain medications but the doctor was concerned with so much that he did not want to mess with something that was currently working. Sweat was beading down her forehead and neck as each contraction got closer.

Navarro and his team began setting things up and breaking down her bed to get ready to deliver the babies. It was nerve wracking to see the equipment and the incubators they had set aside as well as the heating tables. A nurse moved to the opposite of me and instructed that when I was told to grab her leg and help her push. I had board meetings that were less nerve wracking then this. Seeing my love be strong through this all was amazing in it's own way.

"Okay Amelia next contraction I need you to push. Jax I will need you to grab her leg and help hold it, the nurse will the grab the other one." I placed my hand under her knee as the other hand intertwined with hers. Navarro nodded in approval. A contraction must have come on because she launched forward and squeezed my hand. "Good job hon. Now next one I want you to push until I count to ten. Understand?"

She only nodded but did as the doctor did. She pushed for over twenty minutes when our little man was born. His cries were a whole new level of heartbreak. I was not sad but just felt my heart crack under the cry. The nurse handed the scissors to cut the umbilical cord as they placed him on Amelia's chest. It became second nature to hold this tiny thing, he had a head full of dark hair like mine and held the same grey eyes. He was nuzzled into Amelia and content. The doctor had warned her that it was almost time to push again, the nurse removed Malcom from her chest when the next contraction came.

Our little girl came out louder then her brother, her eyes were wide open when they placed her on Amelia. She sported the same black hair but her eyes were duplicates of Amelia's. She had stolen my heart just as quickly if not quicker then what her mother did. Once settled into her arms, Zoe was silent but still wide eyed looking at the world. The nurse took her away to clean the babies up and check them out.

Malcom Christian Adams was born May 4 at 5:06 pm 7lbs 6ounces, his sister Zoe Emery Adams was born May 4 at 5:10 pm 7lbs even.

When they were given the clean bill of health and once Amelia was done they placed the babies in her arms. It was a perfect picture to see with her smiling at these two little miracles. I thought Amelia could not have been more beautiful, but I was wrong. I sat on the side on her bed with my arm around her back, my life felt complete despite the ache of my friend being gone.

I kissed the crown of Amelia's head. "I am so proud of you love; you did amazing. Plus, you gave me these beautiful children."

"I think you're a little biased over it though." I chuckled because she was not wrong. "Do you want to hold them?"

I nodded and moved so she could put the babies in the nook of my arms. Mal did not even acknowledge the move from his mom to me. He kept on sleeping like there was not a care in the world. Zoe though fussed once she was moved but nuzzled into my chest, just like her momma. They both opened their eyes and looked brightly at the world.

"Hello, my loves, I am your daddy." Such a cheesy thing to say but what else do you say to a baby? "Now Mal, you need to protect your little sister at all costs. You may hate her sometimes and she may annoy you, but she will always need you." I know that is how it was for my sister. I was always there for her until the day she died. I would fight all the bullies to keep her happy. I know Mal would do the same for his sister.

"Is it horrible for me to say you look really sexy while holding them?" I looked up at Amelia who was smiling from ear to ear.

"Not as bad at how hot I think you look right now." I got a classic Amelia eye roll at that statement. I walked over to her and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead. "I will always find you attractive even when we are old and gray."

The next few hours were of pure bliss, basking in the glow of having our babies in our arms. We fed them, changed the diapers and I rocked them to sleep. Once they were fed Amelia usually took the opportunity to rest, despite not breastfeeding she still stayed up to feed at least one of the twins. While she slept I absorbed my time with the twins, feeling full with these two and a new look on life. I vowed to them that I would never let them or their mother down. When the three of them were content I reached out to Layne and Robin, they brought our SUV, car seats and things needed.

They did not stay long, only congratulated us after holding the twins, told me the debriefing folder was in our bags and that our home was cleared. Robin had indicated a surprise for us when we got home but to just focus on us resting while loving on the kids. I knew it would be easier said then done, especially with the looming news I would have to break to my love.

The nurses had taken the babies for a moment to get some tests done, we could not go with them but Ghost agents followed them for us to assure they were safe. It gave me the chance to talk with Amelia on the news that would destroy her as much as it destroyed me. I sat next to her on the bed and gently caressed her hair while placing a kiss to her forehead.

Her beautiful eyes looked up at me, they were full of so much emotion that I was taken back by it. "I know you are hiding something from me, now spill." I hesitated thinking on how to break it before she cut in. "I don't want none of the 'you have been through enough' speech from you either."

I could not help but chuckle despite how sad this would be. So I broke the news to her, I could see the pain before even the sobs came out of her. I quickly crawled into the bed with her and cradled Amelia as close as I could with out suffocating her. We both cried for our partner, I could finally grieve for him and the pain for my wife. Our plan on the future was now different and incomplete with out him. It stung like a son of a bitch but we both agreed Chris would not be fond of us moping around for him.

The few days in the hospital were beginning to take a toll on Amelia, she already hated hospitals to begin with but now she was ready to get home with the babies and settle in. I swear she about took out the doctor when he announced we could go home, she was so excited to get home. We began packing things up, the twins were tucked safely into their car seats and sound asleep. Amelia was getting their bag ready when she turned around holding a piece of paper with our names on it.

She looked perplexed "It was at the bottom of the diaper bag" She handed me the paper. The note was simply written in a familiar handwriting.

Jax and Mia

I am sorry. I did not want to do it this way. I love you both.

Chris