I noticed that Max was shaking from what had just happened. This was not supposed to play out in front of him. I walked to him, got on my knees and explained, "I had to do this baby...you'll understand when you're older". I hugged him to relieve some of the fear.
"But mom-"
His tiny hands shook under mine, and the tension grew thick in the air as he tried to make sense of everything.
I heard one of the doors openning down the hallway. I picked up my son and ran for cover until it was clear for us to sneak down the stairs. Whoever it was just walked across to the bathroom without noticing what had happened.
We made it downstairs and I put him down. There was a leather jacket on the sofa; I hustled to grab the jacket, a roll of napkins, and some scissors.
"Let's go", I told him.
I took a hold of his hands and rushed for the front door.
Once we were in the car, I froze, a tear fell to my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. This was not a part of the plan. I got it together, moved my baby's curls back into place with my hand.
"You know that I love you right".
He just avoided my hand angrily. I didn't bother him for the rest of the trip.
We stopped in front of a motel and I looked down at my shaking hands, 'what do I do now? I have to figure out who's after us', my mind wandered.
Max was fast asleep and we'd only been driving for a few hours.
I shook him, "Sweetheart it's time to go we can't stay in this car any longer".
I opened the car door and went to help him with his stuff. He got out of the car still visibly mad; he grabbed his bag with excessive force and said, "I got it". I threw my head back and sighed.
"I need a room for about forty-eight hours", I demanded while placing my I.D and some cash on the desk.
"One or two bedrooms", the receptionist asked looking down at my son. I pulled him closer to me.
"One."
She glanced at me, nodded and handed me a room key.
Max and I walked to the elevator; there was a woman exiting. I bumped into her and expressed that I was deeply sorry. She glared at me as she stood back up, adjusting her skirt.
We rode the elevator up to the second floor. I tried to take his hand, but he deflected and walked out once the elevator doors open.
I followed behind and looked down at two room keys. The woman from before had her key visibly hanging off of the small pocket in her purse.
One thing I've learned from what I do is to never leave anything of value visible to prying eyes. 'You never know who might bump into you'.
I went up to the room, inserted the stolen key and EUREKA!
The room was practically empty, the only items of value were provided by the motel. It was a dirty motel room, but it was liveable. I scoped the place out and sat on the bed.
"Come sit with me, we have to talk", I suggested.
Max looked around the room with disgust and did what I asked him to.
"Max...baby, I didn't mean for things to go south. This is the life that I've lived for as long as I can remember; however, now that I have you, I need to protect you. Do you understand?"
Max lowered his head in disappointment and responded, "Mom I don't want you to hurt people...you don't have to, I just want us to be normal. I haven't seen you since my birthday and now you show up out of nowhere...I-I don't want to stay here mom".
I couldn't look into his eyes so I got up from the bed and walked back and forth. "At this point we're gonna have to honey, you see...you are the only meaningful person in my life, I will do anything for you".
"Why did you leave me with them?" He asked, his eyes welling up with tears.
I sighed, it felt like the air was being sucked out of my lungs.
"Um well...your father and I were not in a good place. I was young, he was...he is married; I knew I wouldn't have been able to take care of you and do my job. Therefore, as soon as you were born, I arranged for you to be raised by the Saunders family. Your foster mother was a co-worker, she promised to keep you safe and she gave me the right to be in your life as your biological mother."
At that point, I could not continue the story. I wiped my tears and knelled down in front of Max.
"Baby, I didn't leave you with them because I don't love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I just figured that you were better of with someone more stable...I mean we've only been together for a few hours and I've already terrified you so..."
He stared into my eyes and we both smiled. Max leaned forward and hugged me.
"I wanna meet him", he said.
"Who?"
"My daddy, I wanna meet my daddy."
I hugged him a little closer and kissed the top of his head. "Your wish is my command", I whispered, unsure of his request.