The days that followed were all the same; I'd have my targets and I'd execute. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and let the electricity from our bodies take over me as we bonded. The heat from our skin intertwined as the temperature of the room increased.
As we continued to love on one another, I remembered why I treasured these moments. It was rare to find someone who made me forget about my many issues. I felt his lips on mine as my breath became shallow.
"Zena...baby", he whispered suggestively while he kissed down my neck and collarbone.
My legs wrapped around his waist while he gripped my thighs, holding them in place.
"Not right now, I'm not ready for that step...we're not ready", I managed to breathe out.
He disregarded what I'd just uttered and finished . I quickly pushed him off of me and ran to the bathroom.
"JEREMY WHAT THE HELL!"
I frantically attempted to clean myself off, hoping that there were no surprising consequences after what we just did. This was not something I did regularly; since we're both finally in town this week, I figured 'why not? for old time's sake'.
I angrily filled up the bathtub and ran myself a bath. Thinking about what could happen, my eyes weld up with tears, "I can't get pregnant now...I wouldn't even make a good mother anyways".
'Shit'
"Zena please baby open the door, we need to talk about this."
I continued to ignore the incessant banging on my bathroom door and slid down in the bath water. The warm water was soothing to my skin so I allowed the water to cover my head.
~Some time later~
The bath water dripped down my legs leaving footprints on the carpeted floor as I made my way to the bedroom.
"Oh you're still here?" I asked. I opened the bedroom door to find Jeremy sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands cradling his head. He finally looked up at me.
Overcome with anger and disappointment I stood near the door, far from the bed.
"Why?" that's all I asked as I held on to my white towel.
He immediately stood up to meet me halfway.
"Zena would it really be that bad?" He asked me.
"Jeremy you know I can't risk this right now I..." I began.
"Why the hell not? We've been together for five years, I've been thinking that we could start a family at some point and maybe you know...it wouldn't be so bad to have a son or daughter. Even if we don't make it as a couple, at least we'd have a reminder of whatever you wanna call this relationship."
I looked down at my bare feet and begged that he couldn't figure me out.
He reached for my left arm and continued, "I love you Zena".
"Correction, we got back together last week...LAST WEEK...because you couldn't keep it in your pants. Wanna talk about love?"
I quickly ripped my hand from his and pushed him out of the way. I entered my closet and yelled out, "YOU DON'T FUCKING LOVE ME".
'you don't even know me'
It took me fifteen minutes to get dressed but I sat in the closet for a while before stepping out.
"Where the hell are you going?" He shouted, Jalousie replaced his sadness and his demeanor changed."I'm going about my business lock the door when you leave", I responded.
As soon as I finished my sentence, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.
"You leave and I won't be here when you get back or ever for that matter", He challenged.
I was a bit shocked at how he lashed out at me.
"Do what you have to do", I responded before stepping out of the bedroom and didn't bother looking back.
I needed an escape, so I drove down to the camping grounds that were locate on the south side of the city. There was a secret bar under an old cabin somewhere off the grid, that's where I felt like I was slightly normal.
During my drive I noticed that my phone was ringing, I ignored it and kept on going.
I not ready for this, it's not what I planned for.
~ A few hours later~
I sat inside the bar and felt a presence; someone hovered over me.
"Nolan don't test me tonight, now is not the time", I suggested.
Nolan began in the agency as a freelance tech. genius, this guy can spot and break through any firewall--not someone you want as an enemy.
"You took off your tracker...Zee...I don't know how to say this but-"
"Just spit it out", I interjected.
He laid a hand on my shoulder and I shifted to meet his gaze.
"Zee...it's about Max"
"WHAT HAPPENED?" I yelled.
Nolan took out his laptop, placed it on the bar and began typing.
"He has a large bounty on his head, I just received this alert but I couldn't reach you."
"DAMN IT, this is all my fault", I sighed.
I grabbed my bag and ran to my car. There's no way I'm losing him again.