I sat in the car for what felt like a lifetime; motionless. Daring to remember the past, I was left frozen with fear and regret.
"I don't know if I can do this." Rolling down the windows, the swift breeze passed through the car with ease.
I forced myself to exit the driver seat and face my past. I went and stood in front of the foster home where Max was. I knocked and waited for a response.
My heart raced.
Minutes later, a shadow was cast through the tiny space underneath the front door as it was pulled open.
"Oh hey, you're Max's --", The owner began.
"Yeah, I'm actually here to take him out to dinner...if you don't mind of course", I interrupted with a smile.
She looked at me, saw that I was a bit on edge and asked,
"are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah...yeah, it's just that it's been a while since I've seen him."
She smiled at me and invited me in.
"MAX! come down here", she yelled towards the stairs. I inspected the place while I waited.
As soon as I heard the tiny feet stomping down the stairs, I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. I knew this was a bad idea right then and there.
"..."
I turned to walk away, changing my mind and then I heard his voice.
"MOM?"
"Oh hi baby, Mommy just wanted to check up on you...uh...do you want to have dinner together...you know, like we used to?"
I knelled down to touch my baby's face, he's so grown up since the last time I saw him.
"But Mom it's six in the morning, I'm pretty sure they stopped serving dinner."
I obviously did not think that through.
"Sweetie I just wanna spend some time with you. Can I at least do that?"
As soon as I said that, I saw the brightness in his eyes; the sparkle that I want him to hold on to for a long time.
He ran up the stairs and packed a small bag so that he can stay overnight.
Before we left, he stopped in front of the door and looked into the owner's (his foster mother) eyes with sadness. He didn't even say goodbye. something must've happened.
In the car we discussed everything. School was a sore subject for me considering I barely had a childhood; we still talked about it and how he was struggling with history.
"Mom can I ask you something?"
"Yes", I answered.
"You promise not to get mad?"
"It doesn't work like that Max."
"Well...I have a friend and his foster parents fight a lot, one day he tried to stop them but they ended up hitting him for interrupting. What should he do?", he asked sheepishly.
"Max how long has this been happening?" I asked.
"..."
I was angry beyond measure, I pulled the car over and turned to Max while grabbing his arm.
"MOM it's nothing, I promise... it's ju-"
"MAX I'M GONNA ASK YOU THIS ONE LAST TIME AND YOU BETTER ANSWER ME RIGHT...has anyone laid their filthy hands on you?"
Max was caught off guard and he began to cry.
"Max...who did it?" I asked softly.
The look he gave me alone drove me over the edge. I backed the car up and made a u-turn. This was not a part of the agreement.
Once I got back to his foster parents' house, I parked the car so that I can easily see and access it when it's time to leave. I placed the blinds so that no one can see inside and locked the door.
"Under no circumstances are you to step out of this car, do not touch anything, duck down, and keep quiet. I don't care if the world is coming to an end, you stay in this car. UNDERSTOOD."
He fearfully nodded.
"Good, mommy will be back", I placed my palms on his cheeks and kissed his forehead.
I noticed that the husband's car was finally in the driveway, he must've been out all night.
I unlocked the door and snuck inside.
Considering that it was so early, everyone appeared to be resting.
I reached the parents' main bedroom and the door creaked open. I quickly hid around a corner.
"Darrel is someone out there?" the wife asked, poking her head out.
"No get your ass back in that bed", Darrel growled. He looked around and then went on to get ready for bed.
The wife closed the door and I took that as my cue. Before he attempted to open the bedroom door, I placed my gun in between is back muscles, pointing directly at his spine. He froze.
I whispered, "Hello Darrel, long time no see".