The smell of coffee was the first thing that broke through my slumber. I breathed in deep and stretched as I worked the kinks out of my back.
Nothing smelled more appealing than a fresh cup of brew so early in the morning.
Well, there was something - or rather, someone - that smelled far more appealing.
Briefly, I remembered the last time I had gotten to enjoy both of those together. The smell of roasted beans mingled with the alluring aroma of Caleb, and that small thought was enough to remind me of yesterday. And everything that happened since then. Suddenly, I was wide awake as I jackknifed on the mattress and looked behind me.
Empty. The blow felt harder than I had anticipated, even though I thought I was prepared for it. Still, in a silly, futile hope, I looked around the room, trying to find the traces of Caleb just to make sure that last night was real and not just another one of my dreams.
The curtains were still closed, muting the gray light filtering through the thick clouds outside. Even though the rain had stopped, I knew the overcast won't allow the sun to peek out any time soon. The bedside clock read 8:03AM and I flopped back onto the bed, rolling over to the side that Caleb had occupied.
His smell still lingered on the sheets and I buried my face into it, swallowing hard, and willing myself not to cry. It was my birthday afterall, and I wouldn't allow anyone - especially Caleb Cross - to make me cry today.
I didn't even know why I was feeling this emptiness. I had known since the beginning that he was too hot for me. Too hot, too rich and too much of an asshole.
But even with all his baggages, he had somehow managed to slither into my heart, and made me put my better judgement on a back burner. And now he was gone, no doubt coming to his senses once he had a good night's sleep and woke up next to me.
I sat up again, slowly this time, as another thing caught my attention. The Tylenols were gone, as were his clothes from the corner of the room where he had piled up them last night. They must've been still wet by the time he wore them back, but that little detail won't stop Caleb from making his escape.
Of course, I had expected him to cut his losses and leave before I woke up. Infact, I had hoped for it. But I couldn't help a tear that slipped from the corner of my eye, leaving a warm, wet streak behind. I closed my eyes amd swallowed again. No, I won't linger onto him anymore. Not today. Not ever.
With that thought, I climbed out of my bed and went to get some clothes out of the closet. A shower should make me feel better.
But I paused as I went to open the closet door. A full length mirror was attached to front of it, and I observed the mess that looked back at me through it.
My hairs were curlier than usual, piling like wood shavings around my shoulders, my face was pink from pressing it into the matress and my eyes looked red and swollen with ugly bags below them.
Last night, after coming back to the bedroom, I had changed into my nightwear, putting on the first thing that my hand had touched in the dark.
At the time, I was either too distracted from my conversation with Leo or simply assumed that Caleb will be gone by the time I woke up.
I hadn't even stopped to think that he might take one look at my gray sweats and tatty off-white tshirt that made me look like a homeless hag, and make a run for it.
Of course he had ran from me the first chance he got. Hell, I would run from me if I could. And suddenly, the tears I had pushed back earlier started overflowing. So much for not crying on my birthday.
In between all that blubering, I tried to fix my hairs by desperately running my fingers through them but all I did was make it curl more. So I gave that up, and buried my face in my palms, shaking with silent sobs.
I had always known I wasn't a traditional beauty. For starters, I weighted atleast 20 pounds extra. And I knew that there was nothing remarkable about my face. The only person who had ever made me feel pretty was Shy.
She always said, "you're the kind of diamond that can be recognised only by someone who possessed the right kind of eyes. And why give a damn about people who mistake gold for everything that glitters?"
But even with her fawning over my skin or eyes, I had always been aware of my flaws. And whatever doubts I had were removed for good by people like Ellen Cole, who weren't shy to list them all to me in the name of constructive criticism.
But nothing had ever hurt more than to have Caleb take one look at me in the broad daylight and make a run for it.
Wiping my eyes, I saw how blotched my face looked and finally I'd had enough. Turning away from my image, I marched into the bedroom en suite, threw my sweats into the laundry basket and stood under the shower until my tears stopped. With the weather so cold outside, the water felt warm as it ran down my body and I finally felt calm.
Why was I getting so affected by a man who didn't even have the courage to stay and face the responsibilities and consequences for his actions? He was a coward to run away while I slept. And nobody should waste their tears on a coward.
With my thoughts reined in, I wrapped a towel around me and walked back towards the closet without letting myself look in the mirror this time.
As I rummaged through my clothes, my fingers brushed against something soft and lacy at the very back of the closet. Curious, I pulled it out and held up a piece of clothing that nobody - not even Sairey - knew I possessed.
I had forgotten that I even owned a black, lacy lingerie with its matching set of satin undergarments. It was bought on a whim a couple of years ago, when I had read somewhere that wearing lingerie makes you feel sexy and builds your self-esteem. And at the time it had worked.
Whenever someone made me feel ugly, or after a family get-together with my looks critiqued throughout the evening, I had secretly worn this as a way to redeem my morale. To find it today, after not using it for years felt too much like a cosmic sign to ignore.
I discarded my towel and dawned the outfit, amazed that it still fits me to perfection. And to my utter shock, it worked its magic like no complement ever could. Suddenly, I felt better. Suddenly, I felt like the sexiest woman in the world.
Walking - okay, strutting - around my room, I straightened a few tic-tacs here and there, feeling better with each passing minute. If only I had worn this last night instead of sweats.
I wished Caleb could see me in this. Running would've been last thing on his mind. But he can't, because he ran away. Well, his loss, I thought with a flick of my hair as I turned on the hair-drier.
Shy was right, he just didn't have the right kind of eye. And one who doesn't appreciate sweats don't get to appreciate lingerie. I won't let a shallow coward like— wait a second, did I just smell a pancake?
I turned the hair-drier off and sniffed in deep. Oh yes, it was a pancake alright. Infact, the aroma was so strong that it was a wonder how I hadn't smelled it until now. The delicious smell mingled with coffee invaded my senses and made my stomach growl. Whatever Shy was cookin— Woah, Shy was cooking?
My eyes popped open. The memory of Shy's last cooking adventure suddenly made the scrumptious aroma feel a bit overpowering. She had taken up the task of making an omlette, and ten minutes into it, half the kitchen was on fire while the omlette had somehow managed to stay uncooked.
The reminder of flames licking up the tissue roll and curtains in the kitchen made me slam the hair-drier on the counter and run out of the ensuite, forgetting everything else in the face of survival instinct.
Our apartment building was too humble to have a smoke detector and the thought only made my feet move faster as I fumbled to find a robe.
Maybe it was my imagination, but I could feel my vision blurring as smoke clouded it, and I gave up the mission of finding the robe. Let Shy finally know I owned lingerie. It wasn't the end of the world. Over the years, she had probably seen me in worse. Besides, Sairey was never the one to judge, so how bad can it be?
I kept consoling myself as I grabbed a small, red fire extinguishing can that I now kept behind my bedroom door, threw it open and ran out towards the kitchen.
"Shy—!"
But the sight greeted me there made only one thought stand out in my mind.
It was bad. It was really, really, REALLY bad.
I skidded to a halt, taking in what - or rather, who was waiting for me.
Caleb Cross.
Shirtless, with his miraculously dry pants fitting him all too well.
Oh my God.