"But not right now Master Joshua. Let little Ned Earp rest. Let him let his guard down. Then Master Joshua put him in an impossible situation.", Miriam of madness said with an evil smile.
"Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! I really like you Miriam, the way you think really makes me happy. If little Ned knew that most of his misery in life was engineered by you he will probably vomit blood. Ha ! Ha ! Ha !", Joshua Parker laughed out happily in a childish voice.
"It's all for Master Joshua's happiness.", Miriam of the madness said as she did a curtsy.
A week later, Ned the necromancer had returned from his holiday from Kabul, Afghanistan with Samantha the undated fire demon. Ned the necromancer was still slouching on his chair with a smile on his face while Kara the undead knight and Marge the undead mage was frowning at him. Why were they frowning ? They did not have the chance to get a free Afghanistan holiday and they blamed Ned. While Ned was fiddling with his new Shield hand phone made by Joshua Enterprises without a care, the handphone started ringing.
"Hello Ned Earp here, special agent of Shield.", Ned the necromancer said proudly.
"Now Mr. Ned, please refrain from saying you are from Shield. After all you are just a temporary advisor from Shield.", Phil Coulson said in an exasperated tone. Phil Coulson was in an extremely bad mood. After his return from Shield his boss Nick Fury dug a pit and threw him in it. I mean Nick Fury did not really dig a pit and throw Phil Coulson in it. It's more of a metaphor, Phil Coulson's boss has been throwing the most dangerous and irritating work to Phil Coulson. And Phil Coulson was wondering whether his boss Nick Fury actually hated him. Because Phil Coulson couldn't stand the arrogance of Tony Stark and the shamelessness of Ned Earp, yet Nick Fury assigned these two individuals to Phil Coulson.
And now with Iron Man fighting Obadiah Stane the Iron Monger, Nick Fury has asked Phil Coulson to contact Ned Earp and Samantha to fight against the Iron Monger. Phil Coulson wondered if he could get early retirement from Shield.
"Oh. Why are you calling me ? Does it mean I have an extra reward for rescuing Tony Stark ?", Ned the necromancer asked happily.
"...", Phil Coulson said.
"Mr. Ned, Shield needs you and Samantha again. It's an emergency. Tony Stark in his Iron Man costume is fighting another person in an iron suit. Tony Stark is in danger, we need you and Samantha's help to rescue Tony Stark.", Phil Coulson said politely with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Oh... Samantha we are getting extra money from Shield ! Drop what you are doing and get ready to become a millionaire !", Ned the necromancer shouted out happily.
"What ?! Now Mr. Ned what do you mean become a millionaire ?! We at Shield also have a budget and the money we pay you comes from tax payers !", Phil Coulson said in an angry tone.
"Now. Now. Philly boy. Don't get your knickers in a knot. After all don't we have the multi billionaire Tony Stark. I am sure he can afford to give us a few million for saving his life.", Ned the necromancer said in a playful tone.
"....", Phil Coulson said as he never thought of taking advantage of Tony Stark when his life was in danger. Who in the world was shameless enough to take advantage of someone when his life was in danger ?
"Then does that mean Shield does not have to pay you ?", Phil Coulson asked in a polite tone.
"Oh ! Shield still has to pay us but we are also getting a few million from Tony Stark as a reward for saving his life.", Ned the necromancer said happily.
"....", Phil Coulson said as he slapped his own face in disbelief. This was the first time Phil Coulson could not say anything in his long career as an agent of Shield.
"Hello ! Philly boy ! Are you still there ?!", Ned the necromancer asked in a playful tone.
"Then how much do we have to pay you for you to help Tony Stark ?", Phil Coulson asked in a slightly irritated tone.
"I believe your boss Nick Fury has already set the price already US$ 300,000.", Ned the necromancer said happily.
"But isn't that the price of one weeks work and this is only a few hours of help ?", Phil Coulson asked in an irritable tone.
"You are right Philly boy. The mission in Afghanistan was not as dangerous as the mission of rescuing Tony Stark. Make it US$ 450,000.", Ned the necromancer said happily.
".....", Phil Coulson said as he almost vomited blood on the spot.
"Sigh. Just get over here and save Tony Stark. I will file in the amount of money needed for your service to Shield and Tony Stark.", Phil Coulson said in an exasperated tone.
"Wait. Get Pepper Potts on the line, we still have not agreed on the amount of money we will get from Tony Stark for saving him.", Ned the necromancer said in a smug tone.
".....", Phil Coulson said as his eyes glazed over. Phil Coulson at this moment swore in his heart he must push this assignment named Ned Earp to someone else when this mission was over.
Soon another voice appeared on Ned's handphone.
"This is Pepper Potts here ! Please ! Please save Tony Stark ! I will pay any money !", Pepper Potts shouted out in a pleading tone.
"US$ 3 million...", Ned the necromancer said halfway.
"Deal !", Pepper Potts shouted out on the handphone.
"Give the handphone back to Phil Coulson and tell me the location. We will be there immediately Ms. Potts.", Ned the necromancer said in a happy tone.
As Samantha the undead fire demon rushed over to Ned the necromancer and asked, "How much are we getting from Shield for this mission ?".
"Oh ! Only US $ 100,000. Shield is a cheapskate.", Ned the necromancer replied.
"Damn Shield ! And I thought we are going to be millionaires !", Samantha the undead fire demon shouted out unhappily.
Meanwhile Joshua Parker was observing Ned the necromancer with Miriam his maid with a smirk on his childish face. Joshua Parker was at home having a day off. Suddenly a shout rang out.
"Joshua Parker ! Get down here it's dinner time !", Jasmine Parker, Joshua's mother shouted out.
"But Mom, I am about to manipulate a superhero and a super secret agency !", Joshua Parker shouted back in a childish voice.
"Joshua Parker ! Young man ! Get down here now for dinner !", Jasmine Parker shouted out.
"Okay Mom !", Joshua Parker shouted out in a childish voice. Joshua Parker trudged down the stairs with Miriam of madness the ancient god following him meekly.