It Killed you, Killing me
Why do I always bump to him? It's one of our friends Debut party and ang daming changes na nangyare for the past months it's already November, to sum things up I kinda got to bump with Riley in some cases katulad nalang nung uwian sometime last August at kasabay ko umuwi ang mga kaibigan ko noon, I almost cursed out loud when I saw him, tinuro pa to ng mga kaibigan ko they saw him only in pictures kaya tuwang tuwa silang asarin kami ni Riley noon habang naguuspa sila Gale at Matthew ay nasa gilid lang kami ni Riley.
it was fine until my friends pushed me beside him saka kami tinutukan ng cellphone, "Picture naman kayo Elle, minsan lang" I don't want to look rude or bitter kaya pumose manlang ako Riley awkardly smied at gumaya sa pose ko, we didn't even talk pero tinawanan ko nalag siya he smiled too.
And that other time that I actually bumped into Joy sa mall naman, galing kaming Uni ng mga friends ko when we decided to eat lunch sa mall malapitlang naman eh. I already saw Joy in pictures kaya namukhaan ko agad siya eating with a guy in the table behind us nakatalikod ako dito at nagawa ko pang ibulong kay Angel na iyon ang bagong girlfriend ni Riley nanlaki ang mata ni Angel she used to study sa Catholic school na pinag aaralan nila Riley ngayon and she actually knows Joy and the guy she is with.
"She's staring at You Elle" sabi pa nito sakin I didn't look back at hinayaan nalang sila. Pag kauwi ko noon ay nag message agad sakin si Gale.
"Joy texted me nagkita kayo sa mall?" sabi nito.
"Ahh that yeah I saw her bakit ano ba sinabi sayo?" tanong ko, she proceeded on sending me screen shots of their messages. "The girl is gushing over you, apura ang puri sayo ni Joy" I smiled she isn't bad, good thing Riley didn't bad mouthed me at all. "Sabihin mo thank you" after all that I just bump into him sa mall or sa sakayan ng jeep hindi padin kami naguusap, puro tingin lang walang batian.
And now he is across me sitting in our table he went here kasabay si Jane which we all hate sa ibang table to nakaupo. Ang dami nadin talagang nangyare like Riley and Joy actually broke up after a month at si gago sinama pa ako sa dahilan niya, he told Joy na ayaw niyang magpadalos dalos nalang at magaya sa nangyare samin nakipagbreak siya dito. I mean he just did dumb jerk.
Erin and Nathan aren't in the same table nagbreak nadin kasi sila, seriously it must be break up season lahat ng kabatch ko nagbreak na sila Milan at James nalang ang matibay sila pa yung pinaka last na naging mag on. I was just watching and laughing kasama mga kabatch namin I thought Joy would be here friends pamandin sila nung may debut. But she didn't inabangan pamandin ni Gale na magkikita kami nila Riley dito she's up for the drama.
After sometime nagsimula na yung mismong party na gusto ng mga friends namin, inaya ko sila Erin papunta sa stage everyone was dancing habang si Margaux at Riley lang ang natira sa table.
"I'm not gonna drink tonight uuwi pa ako" I told Milan when she offered me wine, we were just dancing and taking like a lot of pictures, I can't help but look back at Riley he's just fiddling at his phone, if I know him still he's just randomly scrolling out of boredom. Pagbalik namin sa table ay naabutan kong inaaya na umuwi ni Jane si Riley, sabay na sila pumunta pati ba naman pag uwi? I thought it would be fun to tease her instead kaya nag aya ako mag Mcdo pagkatapos ng party and everyone agreed kasali na doon si Riley.
"Sige mauna ka na Jane mamaya nalang ako mapapasundo kila papa" he told her I smirked, he would still pick me Jane, sorry.
Umiiling na npaiwas nalang ng tingin si Jane kay Riley at umalis na, poor her masyadong strict ang parents it's just 10 pm for God's sake. I sitted beside Riley nasa kanya na kasi yung frame na pinapa lagyan ng message ni James para sa debutant.
"Tapos ka na?" I asked him tumango naman ito at inabot sakin ang frame after writing my message inabot ko naman kay Gale para makapagsulat na siya hinarap ko si Riley, "We're okay now right?" I asked him he stared at me for a whole minute bago sumagot "Of course Elle, we are okay" he said with a small smile in his face, I don't know what has gotten into me pero inaya ko to lumabas ng venue at maglakad sa labas.
"I thought you will never talk to me" I told him, tahimik lang itong nakasunod sakin, "I'm just-"
"Guilty?" I cut him off, humarap ako sakanya "I bet you are, Nathan told me that baka nga nakokonsenya ka padin hanggang ngayon sa ginawa mo sakin" he's silently staring at me maybe even wondering why I'm suddenly like this.
"I hated what you did, gago ka talaga Riley sumugal pamandin ako mangiiwan ka lang pala" I laughed sarcastically, I didn't drink bakit ako ganito ngayong gabi, maybe the mood shows up.
"I'm sorry Elle, really I regret leaving just like that kung nagexplain nalang sana ako" that's right Riley regret what you did.
"Kung nagexplain ka sana, edi napagusapan natin yung problema you were not okay with granting all my whims and wishes pero you spoiled me in the end nasakal ka tuloy, we could have talked about it. baka na ayos pa sana natin" I told him, sometime in October Gale admitted to me na umamin sa kanya si Riley kung ano talaga yung dahilan bakit akoiniwan nito.
I was locking him up hindi na siya makahinga sa mga gusto ko. I started blaming myself a little after that.
"I'm sorry naduwag akong umamin sayo, kung sinabi ko ba agad may mag babago?" he asked, I stopped walking.
"You think lowly of me na hindi manlang ako magcocompromise para maging maayos tayo?" I asked him he looked so regretful, kung pwede lang sigurong umiyak nagwa na niya.
"let's go back" I told him at nagsimula bumalik papunta sa loob ng venue.
"I really loved you Elle, I'm sorry I didn't fight for it" I heard his voice breaking this is what I wanted, his pain his regrets. Maybe it killed him too, killing me.
I went back inside without looking back at him.