The hot breath on Nikka's face woke her up. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Marcus' face an inch closer to hers. She studied his face and bit her lip as her eyes settled on his lips. He still made her heart skip even by looking at his serene face. He looked much younger while asleep and a strand of hair fell on his forehead. She started to lift her hands to shove that strand but stopped herself.
In a few days, she would be calling this man her husband.
'Husband', she thought and smiled.
How she dreamt of it long ago that someday she will be Mrs. Nikka Jones, and now that it was truly happening, there was a part of her that felt hurt knowing it would only be on paper...
She did not know what Marcus really felt for her. She wanted to believe that every kiss and every touch he did was true but she felt that she had fallen for this trap before... and she didn't want to do it again.
She didn't want to be hurt anymore...
Her heart yearned for him and yet her mind kept telling her it's not right.
What if he leaves again? What if some woman comes and takes him away just like before?
She couldn't risk it... but for now, it was enough for them to rebuild their friendship... to rebuild trust...
She sighed and tried not wake him up by gently pushing herself away from his face and taking off his arm on her waist. She slowly scooted but to her surprise, she was pulled back again to him so quickly that their lips almost touched.
How can that simple move would give heat to her cheeks! She swallowed hard as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled.
"Where do you think you're going, beautiful?" he whispered. "Aren't you even going to say good morning to me?"
Nikka didn't know know what to say as she tried not to think about his lips. She blushed even more and let out a shaky breath.
He lifted his hand and traced her lips with his finger, and she slightly parted her lips for him, begging to be kissed.
Marcus stared at her lips. He wanted to have a taste of those lips again but he knew it would not be right. He needed to be patient.
He bit his lower lip as he whispered, "Nikka, if I try to kiss you now, will you let me?"
She didn't answer again and just closed her eyes. Her whole body just wanted to scream, "yes," and she expected his lips to touch hers but instead she felt a kiss on her forehead. She opened her eyes, confused.
He smiled and whispered, "I want you to know that I respect you and I don't want you to feel that I am trying to force you to do anything with me. I want you to feel safe... always."
She smiled. She felt like she is the luckiest woman in the world. She pressed her head on his chest.
"Thank you," she said.
He stroked her hair and he said the very familiar endearment he used to say that leaped Nikka's heart.
"Anything for my beautiful girl," he said and she smiled, remembering every beautiful memory they had together.
Is she willing to gamble her heart again to him? Will it ever be worth the risk?
She needed to know what happened that day. Why he had to leave? Why he chose her?
Those questions lingered in her mind as she closed her eyes once again.
'One day, Nikka... one day...' she thought to herself as she drifted off to sleep.
***********
When she woke up, Marcus was gone beside her. So she got up from the bed and went out looking for him in the apartment. She saw a note on her dining table. She took it as it read:
My beautiful Nikka,
I don't want to wake you up. You look so peaceful while sleeping. So I decided to go out without you. Just did some shopping. By the way, get yourself ready. Be back soon.
Marcus
'Shopping?' she asked herself. 'Why?'
Then....
"Oh no! He didn't," she said loudly. "He doesn't need to. Why?"
She was so used to being alone and doing everything by herself lately that she barely buy anything at all. She would rather eat out than cook food at home. One thing she never learned doing which her mom tried to teach her was cooking. She suddenly felt embarassed that Marcus was much better cook than her and now buying her groceries.
Why is he asking her to get ready? Where are they going?
Marcus had not changed. He still loved to surprise her from time to time. She sighed and she jumped into the shower. After awhile she wrapped herself in a towel and went straight to her bedroom to get dressed. She took a white t-shirt and green striped strappy dress that hit her knees. She carefully picked her underthings which were just plain nude. If before she was a bit daring, now she chose the dull ones.
She put them all on and was brushing her hair when she heard the door open. She put down her hairbrush and went out of the bedroom to look. There was Marcus with three bags of groceries.
"Good, you're ready. Your outfit actually fits our activity for the day," he said as he went straight to the kitchen, placing the groceries on the floor. He opened the fridge and one by one placed some items in it.
She followed him and helped him by placing some chips and canned goods in the cabinets.
"You don't have to do this, you know. I can buy and do this myself," she stated.
"I know but somehow you never did..."
She laughed and teased, "So now you're trying to invade my kitchen?"
He stopped and looked at her. How he missed that laugh!
"Well, I thought you might want to learn how to cook. If you're going to be Mrs-" he stopped himself and cleared his throat, "I mean start living with me, you will have a fair share of duties and one of them is cooking."
"You know I never liked cooking and mom taught me several times but I never learned."
"Well, welcome to my class, Ms. dela Cruz."
She laughed and said, "With that statement, you sounded very old."
"So now are you calling me old?" He walked towards her after he placed the last item in the fridge and stood behind her. She was trying to reach the top shelf and her dress hiked up as she tiptoed, slightly showing the back of her thighs. He found himself staring at them and he bit his lower lip as desire tries to creep in. He tried to look away.
"Well, actually, I didn't want to embarass you this morning but I think I see some grey hairs growing on your head, " she teased as she tried to put the last item on the top shelf and couldn't seem to put it even as she tiptoed. When she finally did, she slipped as Marcus caught her by the waist, preventing her from falling.
"Now, who is old again?" he asked and she laughed. "I'm glad I can still make you laugh. You just don't know how I much I missed those smiles... those laughs.. everything," and he tightened his grip on her waist as he pressed his head on the small of her neck.
"I missed you, too, Marcus. I missed you so much," she replied, as her hands touched his arms. "You just don't know how painful it is for me when you left..."
"I know... and how I wish I could just turn back time..." he released her as she turned to face him.
"Why, Marcus? Why did you leave me? Why did you choose her?" Her voice cracked as she looked at his face.
"I'm sorry, Nikka. But that time I had to... I had to leave you... but I promise you, I will never do that again. I will keep my promise... to your dad-"
"My dad?"
"Yes. After you left that morning, your dad came to me and ask me to keep my promise to take care of you no matter what.... but I failed... because Christine needed me that time."
"And I don't? So I am the lesser choice because my feelings for you are nothing?! I am nothing to you but some girl who try to seduce you.... a hindrance to your love story that even our friendship is not important to you?! Is that why?" And tears fell from her eyes.
"No, Nikka... it's not like that."
"Then what is, Marcus?! What?"
"I love you, Nikka," he confessed. "I have loved you so much that I regretted that night every single day. I wished I had the courage to tell you what I feel... but it was so hard... I don't want to lose you but I can't break a promise..."
"How many promises have you made, Marcus?! Did you do that to every woman you know? Did you break them apart too after you made the promise?!"
"No," and he held her shoulders. "I never made a promise to anybody, but to you and Christine."
"You broke a promise to me to be with her... why? Do you love her more than me?"
"Christine is my past. You are my present."
"BUT YOU STILL CHOSE HER OVER ME!" and she took his hands off her.
"Because she is sick, Nikka."