LOOKING at Cecelia closely literally made him crazy.
He don't know what to feel. Yes, he missed her but the pain and madness is there.
He's now looking at her intently. Dahan dahan nitong sinasayaw sayaw ang bata dahil sa pag iyak nito.
He still did not saw the face of the baby.
Nakaharap kasi ito kay Cecelia, o talaga sinasadya nito na wag ipakita sa kanya. Umiiwas din ito nang tingin sa kanya.
Then she look at the woman beside her. She's beautiful. No doubt about that. But Cecelia is more beautiful. Nakita din nya kung paano sya nito tiningnan at ang mga kaibigan nya na ngayon at nakaupo sa sofa, ang iba naman ay nasa carpeted floor, ang iba ay nasa kitchen, nakabukas na din ang tv.
"Mga walanghiya talaga" he whisper.
Nakapameywang syang tumingin ulit kay Cecelia, nahuli nya itong nakatitig s sa kanya. Agad itong nag iwas ng tingin.
Bumaba ang tingin nya sa nakahandang gamit na ngayon ay nasa sahig na.
"What is the meaning of that Cecelia? Are you trying to escape again?" He ask. Nakataas ang kilay nya.
He's pissed.
"A-ah, e-eh, .." nauutal ito.
"Pupunta kasi sana kami sa pedia ni Juan." Sagot ng babae.
"Juan?" He ask, nakakunot ang noo.
Napako ang tingin nya sa batang karga ni Cecelia.
The baby is a boy.
Juan? He smiled with what he's thinking.
His name is John. And the tagalog of his name is Juan. Fuck! Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso nya.
Napabaling ang tingin nya babaeng nagsalita
"And who the fuck are you?" He ask.
"John! I said, stop cussing!" Nangigigil na sabi ng dating kasintahan.
"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry, love." He said, not minding what he calls her. He saw her stilled.
"Again, who are you lady?" He ask again.
Ngumiti ito sa kanya.
"I'm Chinggay. Maid." Pakilala nito.
"Maid?" Hindi makapaniwala nyang tanong.
Seriously? Because honestly, she did not look like a maid.
"Hi, Chinggay. I'm Fredie." Pakilala nang mama's boy nyang kaibigan.
"Oh hi, i know you. A car racer huh?" She answer smiling at fred.
"Wow! You know me?" Gulat naman na tanong ni fred sa babae.
"Yeah, I've been watching you on TV" simpleng sagot nito.
Nagtawanan ang mga kaibigan nya.
"May umasa!" Sigaw mula sa kusina.
Nag usap na ang dalawa.
Nakita nya si Cecelia na pumasok sa isang kwarto.
Sinundan nya ito.
Nakasiwang ang pinto kaya nakita nya na inihehele parin nito ang bata na mukhang tulog na ata.
She's humming and its so beautiful to hear. Her voice is soft. She's looking at the kid lovingly, he can tell, the woman she loves is happy.
Dahan dahan nyang niluwagan ang pagkakabukas ng pinto.
Hindi pa siguro sya nararamdaman ni Cecelia.
And its okay. He get to look at her closely.
"Motherhood suits you well" unconsciously, he said.
Napatingin ito sa kanya. Pinanlakihan sya ng mata.
"Wag kang maingay dyan! Baka magising" nanggigigil na sagot nito.
He chuckle.
Simula nang dumating sya kanina pa ito gigil na gigil sa kanya.
"Stop smiling." Sabi pa ulit nito.
But he can't stop himself. He even don't know why.
Inihiga nito ang bata nang may pag iingat. Lumapit sya para silipin ito.
And when he saw the baby ..
"Holy mother of god!" Usal nya.
The baby is exactly look like him when he was a child! Its like he is looking to his one year old self.
Amazement is an understatement to what he's feeling right now.
Ilang minuto pa nyang tiningnan ito.
He walk closer to the baby and touch his cheeks. The baby laugh even in his sleep and it made him smile.
Sobrang saya nya sa oras na iyon. Hindi nya alam na magiging ganoon syang kasaya pagkatapos ng sakit at pait na pinagdaanan nya.
Indeed, there was a rainbow after the rain.
Hindi na nya kailangang tanungin si Cecelia kung sa kanya ba ang bata.
Kaya pala todo iwas ito kanina na makita nya ang bata.
Then he wonders, ano kaya ang kulay nang mata ng bata? Is it the same as him?
Lumipat ang tingin nya kay Cecelia na ngayon ay nakaupo na sa kamang nandoon. Tahimik ito at nakatulala sa kawalan. Its like she's in a deep thought. May sarili itong mundo. Parang hindi sya nito nakikita.
He just look at her. Pinagsawa nga ang mata sa maganda nitong mukha.
Nang maisip nya ang ginawa nito ay naging matalim ang mga titig nya.
How dare she hid his child from him!
Galit sya. But at the same time relieve because the baby survive.
"Cecelia, we need to talk" madiin kong agaw sa pag mumuni niya.
Ilang beses pa itong napa pikit na parang nagising sa kanyang malalim na pag iisip.
Then she look at him. There's no emotion is her eyes. Its like she's looking to a doll or a robot.
Hindi ito umimik.
"What happened to you Cecelia?" He ask.
Nakatitig lang ito sa kanya, hindi parin sumasagot sa tanong nya.
Napabuntong hininga sya. Pinipigilan nya ang sariling sigawan ito. Galit sya, and he knows himself when he's mad.
Baka may masabi syang masakit na salita na pag sisihan nya pagkatapos.
Napakuyom ang kamao nya ng may nakita syang bahid ng galit na dumaan sa emosyon nito.
Ganyan nga Cecelia. Ilabas mo yan.
"What do you want to know?" Malamig nitong tanong.
"Panong nangyaring buhay ang bata? I heard it Cecelia, loud and clear when the doctor say that you had a miscarriage the day that .. " hindi ko magawang ituloy.
Its the most painful day for the both of us. Lalo na sa babae.
"The day that you rejected me." Pagtatapos nito sa gustong nyang sabihin.
He saw how she smiled bitterly.
"Hindi mo na kailangang malaman. I know that by now you already knew that the baby is yours." Sabi nito.
"I need to know! I deserve to know Cecelia! Anak ko ang pinag uusapan natin dito!" Sigaw nya. Para syang napuno na. "Almost two years Cecelia, tinago mo ang bata! Kung hindi kita natagpuan ngayon, may balak ka bang sabihin saken ha!" I added. I compose myself not to hurt her.
Galit itong tumayo.
"Deserve? Wow, big word! After all the pain you've caused me! Dahil sayo muntik na syang mawala sa akin! All i want is a happy family for him. But you .. you .. broke it." He can see tears are falling to her eyes. Ang mga daliri nito ay dinuduro ang dibdib nya habang nagsasalita.
"Don't talk as if you care! Kasalan mo lahat! Kasalanan mo!" The she break down on her knees.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you.." sabi nito habang sinusuntok sya.
"Cecelia .." ang kaya ko na lang sabihin. He's crying too. Seeing the woman she loves crying, hurting because of him, made him feel that he did not deserve him.
He tried to touch her pero tinutulak sya nito palayo.
"Let me explain baby please .." pakiusap ko.
Pero umiling ito.
"You're explanations is almost two years late. So save it, i don't need it anymore." Sagot nito. And it pained him.
Tumayo ito. Aalalayan sana nya ito pero para itong napasong lumayo agad.
"Don't touch me." Mas malamig pa sa yelong sabi nito.
"You can father my child. Juan deserves it. He deserve all the love in this world."
Then she left him.
After Cecelia closed the door.
Napaluhod syang lumuluha.
Pinagsisisihan ang lahat.
If he can turn back the time. He would. But how?