NATUTUWA sya sa mga kaibigan ni John, but at the same time sadness filled her heart. Ang tagal nilang naging magkasintahan but he never introduce his friend to her. Akala nya si Cody at Nico lang ang malapit na kaibigan nito pero marami pa pala. 15? Who would have thought John have that circle of friends.
Kanina pa nya inoobserbahan ang mga ito. They look like very much comfortable with each other.
Their laughters filled her apartment. Hindi nya akalain may i ingay pa pala iyon dahil sa mga naging bisita nya.
"Okay. Okay. You win, I'll rest. Let's go?" He said. Tumango naman ito.
Sinabihan nya kasi itong magpahinga dahil nakikita nya ang pagod sa mga nito.
Ngayon lang nya nalaman kung gaano sya karupok.
Sinundan nya itong pumasok sa kwarto nila nang anak nya.
He really looks tired. Kanina nya pa ito pinagmamasdan. Mas nagmukha itong mature dahil sa itsura nito.
"You look like mess." I said, while looking at his back.
Napatingin sya sa akin.
Nagtama ang mga mata namin.
I can see through his eyes the exhaustion
He must be really tired.
"Because I am." Sagot nya.
I sigh.
Naglakad ako papunta sa kama namin. Juan is sleeping peacefully to his crib.
"Humiga kana dito." She tap the right side of the bed.
She never sees him in this kind of state before. Weariness is visible to his face.
Nakatitig lang ito sa kanya.
She sigh again, and go near him, hold his hand and guide him to the bed.
Nakaupo na ito sa kama at sya naman ay nakatayo sa harap nito. Ang mukha nito ay ka lebel nang bewang nya.
Nagulat sya ng may maramdamang mainit na brasong yumakap sa bewang nya.
"John .." she whisper.
Its been a long time since they hug each other. At ramdam nya, mula noon hanggang ngayon, iba ang init na hatid ng mga yakap ng lalaki.
Isinubsob nito ang mukha sa tyan nya.
Oh god!
"10 mins. I need this. I am so tired Cecelia .." nahihirapan nitong saad.
Gusto nyang makita ang mukha nito pero lalo nitong isinubsob ang mukha sa tyan nya at hinigpitan ang pagkakayap. Parang ayaw syang pakawalan.
Napapikit sya. Ninanamnam ang mga bawat sandali.
She won't deny that she misses him. All of him.
A long silence filled them. Walang nagtangkang mag salita.
You can just hear their sighs and beating of heart.
"I miss you so damn much. Almost two years kitang hinanap. Para akong mababaliw sa bawat araw na lumilipas knowing that you're in pain, alone" basag ni John sa katahimikan nila.
She didn't say a word. But a tear escape her eyes na agad nyang pinahid.
"I ... Miss .. you ... too .." i honestly answer. He look up to see her. Then their eyes met again.
He smiled weakly.
"I'm sorry .. i know its late but still I am saying it. Sorry for not being with you during your pregnancy. Sorry for being an absent father to Juan for almost two years. Sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Sorry for not telling you everything. Sorry for making you cry. Sorry for being an asshole. Sorry for rejecting you .." he said, crying. Naramdaman nya ang pagpisil nito sa bewang nya.
"I am so sorry baby .. I'm sorry." May tunog na ang pagtangis nito.
They we're both crying.
Hindi nya alam ang sasabihin nya.
But what she did is,
Hinaplos nya ang mukha nito, pinatingin sa kanya.
Kitang kita nya ang pagsisi sa mga mata nito.
"Your sorry won't change what happened in the past, but it can be a good start. I can forgive you. But promise me, be a good father to Juan, John." She said. Begging.
"I don't want .. Juan experience rejection. Kaya natakot ako. Kasi baka .. " hindi nya matuloy ang sasabihin dahil bumabalik na naman ang ala ala nang gabing 'yon.
"Sorry .. Sorry .. Sorry .." he chant. Still crying. "I'm so sorry"
Hindi nya ito mapatigil sa pag iyak.
Ngayon lang nya nakita itong umiyak. John never cries. Not when his grandmother die, not when his parents died in an accident. Not a chance. But seeing him right now, crying his heart out, chanting how sorry he is to her, made her feel that she's important to him.
She caress his hair, making him calm down a bit.
"I miss you doing that." He said afterwards. He's still sobbing.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, feels like you're petting me." Sagot nito.
And it make her heart flutter.
Shitness! Wala paring kupas si John sa pagpapakilig sa kanya.
She was about to say something,
Nang hilahin sya nito pahiga at yakapin sya patalikod. They are in spooning position.
Its still his favorite position. And it made her smile. Hindi naman nito nakikita dahil nakatalikod sya dito.
"Cecelia .." he said, in a bedroom voice
Fudge! I'm doomed!!