AFTER seeing him for almost 2 years, she can't stop herself but to look at him, scan his face. He look more mature now. More hotter. May maliit ding balbas na tumutubo sa baba nito, and oh boy, that added to his appeal.
Alam nyang nakatitig ito sa kanya. Kaya pasimple nya itong tinitingnan.
Nakita din nya kung paanong tiningnan nito ang batang karga nya. She abstain the face of Juan para hindi nito makita. Kinakabahan sya. Dahil alam nya, hindi sya nito kailangang tanungin pa. You can clearly tell that the baby was his. And she can't deny the fact, kahit gawin nya pa.
What's more shocking is one by one, Men come out behind John.
They like greek god, walking inside her house and introduce theirselves.
They are all handsome and hot! Walang tulak kabigin sa kanila. And they are all friends of John? How the fudge she did not know them?
Habang abala ang lahat ay dahan dahan syang pumasok sa kwarto nila.
His baby is sleeping. Looking at Juan, she won't deny that she wants John to accept her baby. Gusto nyang kilalanin nito ang bata. Juan deserve all the love in the world. Because she knew, she can't give all the love to Juan. Juan needs a father figure. Lumaki sya ng may masayang pamilya, kompleto. And she wants to Juan experience it. But that doesn't mean, she will accept John again. Well, not now. She's not ready for any forgiveness.
And when she saw the anger to his eyes. Gusto nyang isumbat dito lahat. Kung gaano kahirap para sa kanya ang lahat. She'd been through a lot. She just wished a happy family for his baby but John ruined it. Sinira ito nang taong mahal nya. Ang ama ng anak nya.
Sobrang saya nya ng malaman nyang buntis sya. Seven weeks, that's the doctor says that time.
She did not tell to John because she wants to surprise him.
Then she prepared everything. It was perfect. But, its not.
John rejected her.
Naalala nya pa ang tingin ng mga tao sa kanya.
Awa.
Pang uuyam.
Tumakbo sya. She's shy because of what happened. Nagtungo sya sa cr. Hindi para umihi pero para umiyak. She cried silently. Then she heard the door open.
"Grabe talaga, nakakahiya yung nangyari kanina. Nakakaawa si Cecelia." I heard a woman said.
Isa siguro ito sa nakasaksi nang nakakahiyang pangyayari kanina. Napayuko sya.
"Yeah. Pathetic" sagot ng kausap nito.
"Pero bakit kaya? I heard they'd been together for so many years. They grew up together." Kwento pa ng isa.
Napapikit sya. Yes, she's asking the same question.
Bakit nga ba?
"Who knows? Maybe John had a change of heart. Pwede naman yun eh." Sagot pa ng kausap nito. "Or, sa sobrang tagal na nilang magkasama, narealize ni John na hindi si Cecelia ang gusto nyang makasama habang buhay." The woman added.
And it hit her hard.
Siguro nga.
Thinking about the woman said, mas lalo syang napaiyak. Baka nga tama ito.
Not thinking about her welfare, she run.
Its raining!
She stayed in the rain. She let herself cry with the rain. She her heart out.
Nagmamadali syang tumakbo sa parking ng makita nyang nagsisimula ng maglabasan ang mga taong naging saksi ng kahihiyan nya.
Hindi nya napansing madulas ang dinadaan nyan. Then she slipped. Hindi agad sya nakatayo dahil sa lakas ng impact.
Then when she was about to stand up, nakita nyang may dugong umaagos sa legs nya.
My baby!
How can she be so careless! Not thinking the welfare of the baby! Napaka selfish nya.
Then she don't know what happened afterwards. Nagising na lang sya sa ospital.
"I'm sorry, the baby didn't make it"
May iba pa itong sinabi pero ang mga katagang iyon ang tumatak sa isipan nya.
Nang mapag isa sya ay nakatulala lang syang nakatingin sa kawalan habang tahimik na lumuluha, hinihimas ang impis nyang tyan.
The doctor says she needs to be operated to remove the excess blood to her tummy.
Excess blood? She decided not to do the operation. She wants to think that the baby is there. Alive.
And it made her live everyday.
"You can father my child. Juan deserves it. He deserve all the love in this world."
The last words she say when she left him alone to the room.
Dumeretso sya sa comfort room and then again, she cried her heart out
The pain is still there.
And it won't just disapear because he's here.
Hinayaan nya ang sarili nyang iiyak ang lahat.
Gusto nya ulit umalis. Tumakbo. Magtago.
But thinking Juan, her baby. She chose not to.
Tama na ang pagiging makasarili mo Cecelia.
Its time to do the right thing.
Hindi na lang para sa sarili nya, kundi para sa anak nya.
Lalabas na sana sya nang CR ng may humawak sa braso nya at hinatak sya papunta sa kusina.
Nakatingin lang sya dito. He looks mad.
"All of you, leave!" Madiing sabi nito sa mga tao sa kusina.
The guys looked at them. Walang nangahas magsalita. They all just left.
"Nakakatakot talaga si John pag galit no?" She heard someone say but she don't know who said that.
"Kaya nga. Tara sa labas guys, let's tour outside. They both need space." Narinig kong sagot ng isa sa mga kaibigan nya.
We heard the door open and closed.
Then its just the two of us now. Juan is asleep. Malalim matulog ang bata. Pag mahimbing ang tulog nito ay nagigising lang pag gutom.
Then she look at him again. His green eyes turns darker. Yeah, he's mad.
Ang mga matatalim nitong titig ay sa kanya nakatuon.
Akala nya tapos na silang mag usap?
Well, iniwan nga lang pala nya itong mag isa.
She sigh.
"Want coffee?" Alok nya.
He nod. Kumilos sya para mag timpla ng kape. As she remembers, John wants his coffee with cream but no sugar.
Nakita nya itong umupo. Inilapag nya ang kape sa harap nito.
Nakatingin lang sya sa kawalan.
"I have questions. A lot of questions. And i need answers. I won't no for an answer." Madiing sabi nito. Napunta ang tingin nya dito.
Nakatitig ito sa kanya.
"And don't you dare to lie Cecelia. Hindi mo magugustuhan pag nagalit ako" banta nito.
Looking at him now, intimidating her. She can tell,
"And I'm not kidding" he added.
Napabuntong hininga sya ng ilang beses. Does she really need to recall what happened.
Yung takot nya.
Yung sakit.
Yung hirap.
"Okay." She stayed where she was. "Ask away" then she look away.
Ayaw nyang makita nito ang reaksyon sya. What she's gonna tell to him will have a big impact to her.
Its her past.
Her scary past.
"Nakausap ko ang doctor mo, she said you had a miscarriage?" Tanong nito sa malamig na tono.
Napabuntong hininga ulit sya. Napapikit ang mata, remembering what happened.
"Akala ko din John. Akala ko wala na sya. When the doctor say that the baby is gone after i slipped because i am running that night .. from you. From the shame and pain." Tears started to fall in her eyes. Agad naman nya itong pinahid at nagpatuloy. "Gusto nila akong operahan kasi sabi nila they need to remove the excess blood. Delikado daw." Kwento nya.
"Yeah, that's what they told me and I'm sorry .." sagot nito sa mababang boses
Nagpatuloy sya, not minding his sorry.
"Nang malaman kong meron pang natitira, i want to keep it." She sobs "I'm guilty. Kahit sinabi nilang delikado okay lang. My life is worthless by the way." She smiled weakly. "Then day by day, i feel it, there are symptoms started to shows. Kaya naisip kong mag pa check up, nag pa second opinion ako." Napatigil ako at napatingin sa kanya.
"That's why you faint?" He ask.
I nod.
He's listening attentively while looking at me. Its like he's telling me to continue, so i did.
"Then i found out, I'm still pregnant. The doctor explained to me that its very rare to a seven weeks pregnant to had a miscarriage." Napapikit ako habang nagpapatuloy. Nag aalinlangan pa ako kung itutuloy ko ba, but he needs to know the truth. Dahil hanggang ngayon, yung takot ko, andito pa din.
"I told her i slipped and then there's a blood flow in my legs. She explain that its because of the impact of what happened to me."
She look at him. Nagbago ang expression ng mukha nito. Tumingin sa akin ng may pagtatanong
"I also don't know why that doctor says that the baby is gone. So i assume, someone really wants my baby gone."
"But who was it?" He ask. There's no emotion seen in his face.
She shrug.
"I left that day because i was so scared. Dinala nyo ako sa parehas na ospital kung saan gustong may pumatay sa anak ko"
"I did not. Cody did" maikling sagot nito
"I ask my doctor about the operation they telling me about, then she said, maybe its really not an excess blood. They want to remove my baby that's why they we're pushing me"
"I had a bad feeling about that doctor. Wala lang akong magawa because i don't have the power. Wala namang may galit sa akin. And there's only few people knows that I'm pregnant that time." Then there is it again, the fear of her heart.
"Well, i have"
Napatingin ako dito
"What?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
He stood up, walking near to me. Then he held my hand. We're inches apart.
"I have the power Cecelia. And i promise, i will hunt who is it. How dare them tried to kill my baby! No ones mess with my baby and gets away with it." Nanginginig ang mga kamay nito na may hawak sa kanya. His eyes screams blood, and its scary. Ngayon lang nya itong nakitang ganito ito kagalit.
Hindi pa sila okay but,
Hinaplos nya ang mukha nito, he seems shock on what i did but he look at me.
I miss this face.
"Hey, calm down." I said.
Nagbago ang expression nito
Then she saw the longing.
Was it for me?
She don't know.
But above all, she can breath freely knowing someone will protect Juan.
"Promise me, protect Juan at all cost John, he's all i have. I don't want to loose him" I tear escape again to her eyes.
He wipes my tears,
"Hush now love, i promise." He said then hug me.
A long silence after that.
"So that's his name? Juan?" He ask, big smile on his lips.
"Juan Julio." Sagot ko.
"Hmm, the tagalog of my name is Juan" he is teasing her!
Hindi sya makatingin dito.
"So his nickname is also JJ? So can i call him My Junior" he said happily.
I smiled too, but hide it.
"Whatever you want."