" Hey Al, remember that get-together party I was telling you about? It's today and needless to say, you're coming with me."
"No I'm not"
"Uhm, yes you are."
"C'mon Jenny, you really don't want to start this right now."
"Ya think? You know me too well Al, I really want to start it and in case you haven't noticed, I plan on finishing it. What is even wrong with you, can't you see it? You're losing yourself at a very rapid rate."
"No I am not"
"But yet, you are either too proud or helplessly naive to even admit it"
"Jenny, that's quite harsh you know?"
"Oh, is it? Because I actually planned on adding certain details which include the fact that you look like an internally displaced zombie that has been diagnosed of Leukaemia but still has to donate one of her kidneys to her dying child. Why? Because you can't even take out the time to eat a proper meal or have a proper shower. Oh and did I mention the fact that you have absolutely no social life whatsoever and your whole existence revolves around school and family. At the rate you're going, I'm pretty sure that when I'm going to my husband's house which is very soon by the way. Don't interrupt me yes, Fred proposed. You might just end up smuggling into one of my luggages. Now the worst possibility is that you die. Now how's that for harsh?"
I can't say if it was after an hour, more or less before I finally got a word out because I was beyond shocked.
" When did you plan on telling me?"
"That you were liable to die young"?"
"Mumu, that Fred proposed, jor"
"Don't you even try to change the topic girlfriend."
"And don't you dare either. This is such big news Jenny and I just happen to stumble on it accidentally?. Last I remembered, I was supposed to be the first to know."
"Alright, my bad, I'm sorry. Should have told you earlier indeed. The fact that you were dying soon was already confirmed so I should not have put that first. Please accept my humble apol..."
Her sentence was cut short by me throwing a bottle right in her face and all she could do was stick out her tongue at me like a child.
I really loved this girl. Since my family fell apart, she has been the only thing that has kept me sane, except Henry of course...such a special soul. He had long since graduated from friend to brother. I can't even imagine life without him.
Dad died, mum left and I've been trying my best to fend for all four of us, wth uncle Mark's help.
Jordan joined the army a few years ago and Halona, well after mum left, guess she couldn't handle it. She disappeared a few weeks after Papa's burial. God knows I worry for her everyday.
She called me from a phone booth few months ago to let me know she was doing okay. She said she was trying to figure some shit out. She promised to come home after setting things straight. She gave me no hints on her whereabouts and since then, the only female person who has been able to keep me sane is this big fish sitting right next to me and ranting away about... what?
" Alyssa Chide Lily Benson. By God, if you do not get out of your daze and listen to me, I would pluck out your eyes and serve them to you on a platter of plantain leaves."
"Savage girl. What were you saying again?" I asked her still trying to wrap my head around her threat. I mean, why did my eyes have to pay the price, my brain was the one at fault here right? Also, plantain leaves, seriously?
"Devon is on the phone, wants to know if you'll show for his gradg."
Snatching the phone quickly, I replied. I was always happy to hear from him. That was just one of the reasons why he banned me from calling him; I called him a little too often... A lot too often in real sense. But why not? He's my baby brother even though he keeps telling me that; "I am seventeen I can take care of myself" bullshit.
"Hey Devon, how are you? Of course I would be there for your graduation. I wouldn't miss it for a dinner date with Drake, I mean except it was okay with you of course. I hope you've been taking good care of yourself. I told you not to school in Abuja o. There are good high schools here in Lagos, then I wouldn't have to worry so much about you. What about that..."
"Hey, hey, hey Alyssa chill the hell out. I was the one who called and I've not been able to put in even a single word"
"Well, the only reason you get to call is because you don't allow me to"
"Which is for the best. Besides, we both know that you could sell me out just so you could meet Drake"
"Nope, never not my baby brother. And I'm not that crazy about him. I just really love his smile, his style his hair his music his swag, Drake is one hell of a perfect package. God did him well ahbeg. I could kill to..."
The sound of Devon clearing his throat on the other end of the line brought me back to reality. Yup, I was totally crazy about Drake.
"When I say kill, you know I don't literally mean kill, kill right?" I asked Devon in an attempt of clarification.
"Yeah yeah. Whatever, suit yourself. And Alyssa?"
"Yes?"
"Call me baby brother one more time and; I kid you not, I'll never speak to you again."
"Sorry sir, but just make sure you take good care of yourself, okay?"
"Will do. I'll call you as soon as I can."
" But seriously, why can't you just let me call, you know..."
"ALYSSA!"
"Fine. Whatever, just call me soon."
"I will, bye now. Love you."
"Bye. Love you too...baby brother" I ended the call before adding that last bit.
I barely even dropped the phone before Jenny started speaking again;
" Well, since everything is settled, I think we should start getting ready"
"Are you going somewhere?"
"No miss Benson, we are going somewhere. Hello, get together party?"
"I'm not going to that"
"I already told you Al, I won't take no for an answer."
"Fine, I'll go but first, you have to promise not to bother me for the next few months before my graduation."
" That's like four months away I cannot guarantee..."
"No deal then" I was smiling now. I really hoped I had won.
"Fine, I won't bother you. Now put those books away and let's go have some fun. I wonder what you're always reading in them anyway. News update: Lagos go hear am today."
Wait, What! That wasn't supposed to be her reply. She was supposed to tell me that she couldn't risk it and let me be tonight. Now I am stuck.
Jenny was dancing around me without any music like a full grown idiot. I groaned. What had I gotten myself into? Let's not give up yet.
"Hey Jenny, I'm really not sure I can handle this. My project is due next week and I'm barely halfway through. Every single second of my day is priceless you know?"
"Hey, I understand okay, I totally do. The Allie I know is a warrior and a fighter and not just anyone but a winner. You'll get through this but you've been indoors for like forever, it's not healthy you know. Besides, I really don't know why you have to study so hard. You are literally the brightest person I know." Now I could see pure concern in her eyes.
"You do know you can't be the best at everything right? Just try to be exceptional in what you do"
"I know Jen, well I want to be as close to the best as possible. But if I can, why not be the best?"
Driving to Lekki Astoria was quite fraustrating. To add to my misery was the fact that Jenny made me wear a dress. Like a real dress. I looked like such a girl and that is a terrible thing. Girls are such...I don't know... such girls?
Sincerely, if I ever got a chance to return to this world again, I would return as a guy. There are too many expectations accompanied with being a girl. A girl's life is difficult. On the contrary, boys' lives are full of adventures. Can't help but envy them.
The silence in the cab was becoming quite akward and so I decided to start up a conversation.
When I say silence, I mean on my part only. I don't think Jenny has bothered to shut her mouth even for a second since we started out. When she saw I wasn't paying her any attention, she abandoned me and focused in the cab driver, who surprisingly seemed to be enjoying her company.
"So Jenny, this friend of yours who is supposed to be hosting this even, do I happen to know her...or him, as the case may be?"
"There's a possibility that you two must have met at some point. Otherwise, today would be a good day for introductions. Grace was my roommate for a while before you came along. She was such a charmer, unlike you."
I didn't have the strength to argue so I just left it at that.
Inside Lekki Astoria, I must confess, was pretty impressive. The lighting and decorations were moderate, not too elaborate but a hundred percent classy. The entire arena was properly organized. You can call that a bonus when it comes to a typical Nigerian event. Nigerians are hustlers and who cares about order when it comes to "Jaye Jaye"
A lot of foreign dishes were available at the event and the music was exceptional.
Surprisingly, I earned a few admirative stares. I didn't think I was stunning, although the dress was amazing not to mention the makeup. My shoes were superb, actually they were Jenny's. I didn't own any of those kind of stuff.
The cherry on top was my awesome shape. I can't say I am breathtakingly beautiful but I'm sure that I don't look all that bad. Bonus point; I have all the curves in all the right places, and a few wrong places as well but it's whatever.
Now it might interest you to know that; that was self-esteem speaking. This is me speaking now; I am anything but pretty. I have an enormous nose and I have annoyingly short hair. Many times I feel very incomplete but I try not to let it weigh me down. An evidence of my incompleteness is my dimple. I have only one on my left cheek. I really wish I had them both or none at all. Why couldn't I just be perfect. This is why I studied very hard. I feel that education is the only aspect in my life where God had given me an advantage, my attitude also and my singing talent.
"And to do the honours tonight would be..." The master of ceremonies seemed to be scanning the room in random selection. Then his eyes landed on me and they didn't pass. "...the pretty lady in peach."
The round of applause was almost deafening. Of course I was still stuck in my seat trying to understand what the hell was going on when Jenny nudged me in the shoulder.
"Go, go,go" she said. "Everyone is waiting for you."
As I stood, I felt totally self-conscious, over a hundred pairs of eyes, all fixed on me. Now on stage, I could have a full view of the crowd. And to describe this crowd would be as easy as just saying; Elegant. The ladies had stunning appearances and so did the guys. Where did Jenny know these people from. I mean, She seemed to be quite familiar with a lot of them and they were just too classy for my liking. I should really consider going out more often.
Obviously, I hadn't been paying attention so I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to be doing.
"Uhm, excuse me," I whispered softly to the M.C "You see, the thing is; i'm really not quite sure why I'm here so if you could just tell me why you called me out..." i trailed off.
"Oh, you are here in honor of our host so just do anything, sing, tell a story, dance, recite a poem, the stage is yours for the next ten minutes." He replied cheerfully
Panic was starting to set in. I looked back at the crowd and saw Jenny mouth something like; "you can do this, don't embarrass me".
Pulling myself together, I cleared my throat. My mind was made up. I knew exactly what I wanted to do."
Turning to the MC again, I asked, "is there a possibility that I can get a guitar?"
"Oh, absolutely ma'am" he said before disappearing and re-appearing shortly, guitar in hand.
A few moments later, I was in front of the Mic stand and as nervous as a quail. Don't ask me, I don't know any nervous quails.
I actually contemplated the possibility of me forgetting how to play but i pushed that thought aside though. Very Silly.
The whole room was silent now, all eyes on me. Clearly, my hesitation was becoming akward. Clearing my throat,I began;
"My name is Alyssa Benson, I'm here with my friend Jenny, shout-out to her and to our able host, whom I'm yet to meet. Tonight, I would be performing an original piece titled "Gentle Rain." I hope you enjoy it and even if you don't, try to be a little nice about it, better still, don't tell me.
As I waited for their chuckles and comments to die down, I positioned myself in performer mode and began singing. At least the little joke had lightened the atmosphere a bit. It didn't matter if it was funny or not.
Now it was up to me to embarrass myself, make a fool of myself or most preferably leave my audience stunned.
Pidgin Glossary
# Mumu--------similar to "idiot" or "fool"
#Jaye Jaye---------A term in Yoruba meaning celebrations, parties or enjoyment.
#Lagos go hear am today---------We would set Lagos on fire today. Or. Lagos would know that something is happening today.
#Ahbeg;
Derivative; I beg
Meaning: please: as in a polite form of request.
Or
please: as a form of ending or waving off a conversation.
In a sentence:
Ahbeg help me ask am---------please help me ask him.
No mind am ahbeg--------don't mind him please.