This is very unlikely , infact the very first time in life I suppose . That I don't want to be hopeful about people and don't want to hold onto them anymore. I am grateful for all the people that I have . Grateful that I have been blessed with them . But my heart feels tired now , of loving anyone unconditionally. I feel sad that it has become this of me . But I can't take the heavyweight any further . Cause first it felt fine , to give more than I had , but now there's literally nothing left to give , none whatsoever I had. I will give again maybe , once I get some love for myself , from me .But until then , I do not want to escape this reality. Not anymore do i fear being alone. Not anymore do i fear being lost. I just don't want to fix a timeline on someone , nor do I want to fix a forever. I am happy if someone stays in my life . But I honestly got no strength to stop them from leaving . Yes , I'll be sad , if its not like the way it was before. But I surely wouldn't be hurt anymore. I don't know if it makes me a bad person , not wanting to hold on. But sincerely , I don't think my heart is capable enough to care anymore. I don't know what's going to come out of this route that I've taken . But all I know is , every other road seems to take me to a doom . And only this one seems clear to walk , move and breathe.