"Yeah, you bet I'm mad as hell, Finian! What the fuck did you think? That I would be all happy and thankful for you lying to me. And that you set me up and made me cheat on you?"
Shiro woke up to the sound of Dorian yelling in the other room. The omega was first confused, and it took a while before he remembered where he was. And when Shiro remembered everything that had happened the night before, Shiro felt like he could die of embarrassment.
Shiro sat up, looked down, and was thankful that he was at least under the thick duvet. But Shiro was naked underneath, and his body was covered with, what he believed was, dried cum.
"Yes, we will most certainly have a long talk about this when I get home. Not that I really want to see you right now!"
Shiro flinched. Damn, Dorian sure was pissed off if he of all people could say something like that to Finian, the man he adored above everything else.
"No, Finian, you don't get to cry. Because I told you to trust me, and you went and betrayed me like this. I should be the one to cry. I feel so fucking dirty."
Shiro sighed and laid back into the bed, his hands over his face. Poor Finian, Shiro couldn't imagine the pain the older man felt right now. First, he had to make his husband have sex with another man; then he had to deal with a furious Dorian.
"I call you later. Tell Joy that we are leaving soon. Bye!"
Shiro waited for Dorian to come into the room, he prepared himself to be yelled at, probably even punched. But when Dorian came in, sat on the edge of the bed beside him, nothing else happened. Shiro nervously put away his hands and looked at the blond man, and just the sight of the alpha made his heart skip a beat. He indeed was sex on legs.
Dorian looked down at his hands, folded in his lap, and his eyes were filled with tears.
"I have something to tell you, Shiro," Dorian said, sounding grave and without looking at him.
"Yes, what is it?" Shiro's voice was hoarse from last night's escapades.
Dorian took a deep breath and seemed to collect himself before he started to talk.
"I have bought a drug called YX90. Do you know what that is?"
Shiro shook his head, frowning.
"No," he said suspicious, fearing where this was going.
"It's a drug to break bonds between omega and alpha. I was planning to inject you with it. Me as well."
Shiro stared at Dorian with big eyes. Not again. He'd been through this before. He didn't want this. Then he reacted to what the man said.
"Was?" Shiro whispered, feeling a bit of hope.
Dorian nodded, gaze toward his hands.
"Well, I still planning to inject us with the drug, but I would rather if you did it willingly."
Now Dorian looked directly at Shiro, and in his eyes, Shiro could see only sadness.
Shiro could cry when he heard what the man said.
"Am I that awful?" Shiro breathed, grasping the duvet hard in his hands, trying not to cry.
Dorian flinched and turned toward the man on the bed.
"No, of course, your not. But I'm already married. I can't be with you."
Shiro bit his bottom lip.
"Finian said he would accept it."
Dorian frowned, displeased.
"Did he say that?"
Shiro nodded.
"Yes. Finian loves you so much; he wants you to be safe."
Dorian sighed, feeling disappointed.
"And that's why I am taking the injection. Because Finian loves me."
Shiro closed his eyes.
"I was married once you know. Kei died of cancer two years ago. But before he died, he wanted me to be free, so he injected me with almost the same kind of drug. It hurt so bad, and I got so sick. But worst of it all was knowing that I didn't belong with him anymore, I wasn't his," Shiro looked up at Dorian, and the blond man's eyes were filled with tears. He looked shocked at what Shiro was telling him.
"And suddenly I meet my fated person, the one who was as made for me, and he turned out to be married to the love of his life, just like I once was. So I will help you, Dorian, because you and Finian deserve to be happy without me messing up your life. I will take the drug."
Dorian just stared at Shiro for a while until the blond man suddenly exhaled heavy and closed his eyes. Shiro thought he looked relieved, and that made him hurt so bad.
"Thank you for understanding."
Shiro could taste blood; he had bitten his lip so hard it had broken the skin.
"I'm going to take a shower before I leave," Shiro quickly said, and with the duvet around his naked body, the slender man walked as fast as he could toward the bathroom.
His ass hurt like hell, and it was a painful reminder of last night's activities. It hurt both his body and his mind because even though there had been no real emotions between them, it was the best sex he ever had experienced. Shiro had felt so safe and happy.
Inside the bathroom, Shiro dropped the duvet and stepped in the shower, and when he was sure that Dorian wouldn't hear him, Shiro broke down in tears, sliding along the teal wall to the floor. He was unwanted and, once again, so very alone.
***************************
When Dorian heard the bathroom door close, the alpha stood up, with his hand over his mouth and in his eyes, the tears threatened to spill over.
"What the fuck am I doing?" he whispered to himself, and the self-loathing washed over him.
To say that Dorian was confused was an understatement. He had woken up with Shiro in his arms. His first thought was that it had felt so right like the omega belonged there. Dorian had quickly realized what he was doing and carefully let the omega go, even though it was reluctantly. Shiro had been naked, and that did things to Dorian.
But Dorian had quickly run to the shower, taking care of the problem, and for a long time, he had just sat on the bed and looked at the sleeping man's beautiful face. Dorian had carefully pulled the duvet over the tempting body. With tender hands, he had pushed the dark hair from the younger man's face, forcing himself not to touch those beautiful lips.
Dorian had, just like Shiro, remembered everything that had happened. He remembered how amazingly good it had felt and how hard it was not to claim the man, not to put his lips against his full little mouth or to bite that spot at the side of the neck. But because it all had felt so good and so right, it filled Dorian with extreme regret. And that regret burned inside him, made him feel anxiety he had never known before.
It felt like he was drowning in self-hatred.
And Dorian was so angry with Finian for wanting this. It made Dorian feel so confused. Because Finian was the only person he had ever been in love with and would ever want, and he thought that Finian shared his feelings.
Dorian regretted now that he hadn't told Finian about the drug, because then this would have never happened. But Finian most likely would have objected to him using it, so he thought it was for the best to not say anything before it was all done with.
So there, Dorian sat on the bed. Looking at the younger man and tried to understand all these feelings inside of him. A part of him thought that it was to bad that Dorian hadn't found Shiro before he ever met Finian. That part of him made the alpha hate himself so much. But there was something about Shiro that intrigued Dorian. He didn't know him at all, they had only changed a few words, but Dorian felt he wanted to get to know him more.
But that Dorian couldn't do. Because his heart belonged to Finian and this night didn't change a thing.
Dorian decided that he would ask for Shiro's approval of the drug instead of injecting him in secret. Dorian couldn't even think of doing that to him any longer.
And that was when Finian had called him.
Now Dorian stood in the bedroom, and even though he felt better then he had done in a week, the shaking, nausea, the dizzy spells, all gone. Dorian still felt like shit. He hated himself to the point of questioning whether he deserved to be alive.
When he heard about what Kei had done to Shiro, he couldn't believe that there he was, doing the same thing. And the hurt Shiro felt didn't go unnoticed. Yeah, Dorian was aware that he was an awful person, but what could he do? Dorian had promised never to let anyone hurt Finian, and Eamon and Caoihme depended on him to do the right thing. Dorian had told his daughter that he would take care of this; he couldn't let her down. And that little ladybug! He deserved to be with his two fathers, to be born into a happy, loving home.
But with Hayate Nakamura's threat, he didn't have any other choice. Even though his whole body screamed not to let his fated mate go!
********************************
Finian craved a glass a wine. No, he craved several bottles of wine! Anything to take away some of the pain he felt.
Joy had followed him home because they both knew that Finian shouldn't be alone on a night like this. And Joy had tried her best to make Finian think about other things than imagine his husband penetrating another man's ass. But it didn't work that well, so around nine, when Finian couldn't stop crying, Joy had given him some sleeping pills that were safe to use during pregnancy, and she slept in the bed beside her friend. Luckily Finian had slept through the whole night, and when he woke up, the first thing Finian did was to call Dorian.
Finian knew that Dorian would be angry with him, but he wasn't prepared for that kind of anger. When Dorian had said that he didn't want to see Finian, it hurt so incredibly much, and it shocked the red-haired man. His sweet, amazingly kind Dorian would never say things like that. As a psychiatrist, Finian knew that his husband only used anger against him as a way of dealing with his hurt feelings. Finian also knew Dorian didn't mean what he said, but still, it hurt.
After the call, Finian had burst out in tears and clung to Joy, who embraced her friend. They sat there for a long time until the doorbell rang. Startled, the two friends looked at each other.
They went to the door, and Finian was surprised when he saw Lucas standing there. The surprise quickly changed to worry when he saw his brother-in-law's dark, sad expression.
"I have somethings I need to tell you, Finian," Lucas said, nervously fidgeting with his hands.
"Alright, come in," Finian said, leading his two guests to the living room.
They sat on the sofa, and after declining the offer for a cup of tea, Lucas cleared his throat and started to speak.
"I should have come earlier, but I promised Dorian not to say anything. But I don't know what to do, because I think Dorian will do something dangerous."
Finian's stomach was in knots when he leaned forward and took Lucas shivering hands in his.
"Please tell me everything."
And that Lucas did. All from how he had gotten a call from Dorian to finding his older brother on the office floor. Lucas then told Finian about what Doctor Green had said, how Dorian was now unable to take any suppressants. When the blond man got the part where he gave Dorian the number to a drug dealer, Lucas was bellowing.
Finian was shocked, and he looked from Lucas to Joy. The woman's expression was grim, and she shook her head.
"We have to find those syringes. Dorian can't take them."
"They are that bad?"
Joy nodded.
"Yes. I have had several patients that had injected that bloody thing, and not one lived longer than a year. There is no way to fight cancer as aggressive as this. Finian, this is bad!"
Finian took a deep breath and got up. Suddenly he felt like he was very old and dead tired.
"Let's find them then. We search everywhere here first, and if we don't find it, we'll take a look at the office. Alright?"
Joy and Lucas agreed and started looking, but it didn't take long for Finian to find the syringes. He understood that Dorian thought he would never search in Dorian's closet, but Finian knew his husband.
He gave the two needles to Joy. They looked exactly like ordinary syringe used at hospitals, containing a clear fluid.
Joy put them in her bag and glanced at Lucas.
"He didn't buy more than these two?"
Lucas shook his head.
"No, I'm sure of that."
"Good. I will stay with you, Finian, and try to talk some sense into Dorian.
He needs to accept the situation and stops being such a pain in
everyone's asses."
Being blunt as usually, Joy managed to get Finian and Lucas to laugh, and Finian was grateful he had a good, straightforward friend like Joy by his side.
"I will stay as well," Lucas said, but Finian looked at the younger man with uncertainty.
"I don't know if that's a good idea. Dorian probably will be angry that you told us."
"I know, but I need him to understand that I will always be by his side. But Finian, do you still want to be with Dorian even if he gets involved with Shiro?"
Finian didn't hesitate when he responded.
"Yes, of course. As long as Dorian still loves me, then it doesn't matter if he falls in love with Shiro as well, because I accept Shiro. After talking with him for several days, I think the man has a good head on him. He is kind and thoughtful, and I think he can be good to Dorian."
Lucas just stared at Finian, impressed.
"Your amazing Fin, you are!"
"I agree, you are amazingly understanding, but you're not forcing yourself, right? Because if this situation hurts more than it gives you happiness than you need to leave."
Finian smiled at Joy; it was a little smile but grateful.
"Thank you, but don't worry. I will get used to it. As long as Dorian still in my life, then I can take almost everything."
"Thank God Dorian is an amazing guy as well, or else he wouldn't deserve you," Joy said, and Lucas nodded in agreement.
Everyone liked Dorian, even if he, at the moment, were acting really unlike him. They were all confident that Dorian would treat both Finian and Shiro good. If he just stopped being so stubborn.
After an hour, the front door opened, and Dorian walked in. His dark gaze made Finian flinch when the red-haired walked up to his husband.
"Joy and Lucas are here," Finian said to keep Dorian from starting to yell at him.
"Why?" Dorian instantly replayed, getting a horrible feeling.
"What is Lucas doing here?"
Lucas emerged behind Finian and looked straight at his older brother, who he worshiped, mustering all his courage.
"I told Finian everything."
Disbelief struck Dorian, and he looked horrified at his brother.
"No, you didn't!"
"Yes, Dorian, I told him about your episode at the office and the drug."
Dorian tried to process what his brother, who he had trusted, just had told him, and he clenched his teeth, keeping himself from screaming.
"Why! Why would you do that?"
"Because I love you, and I don't want you hurting yourself."
"That is not your call to make Lucas. Fuck, I trusted you!"
"It may be not his call, but it sure as hell is mine!" Finian yelled and walked up this husband, grabbing the front of Dorian's shirt in his strong hands.
"You're my husband, and I won't allow you to hurt yourself," Finian stared at Dorian with a firm gaze.
Dorian was startled by Finian's unusual behavior, and he felt his anger subduing, giving room for grief instead.
"I just wanted us to be happy. I want everything to go back to normal, and you all try to ruin that. Why? Why are you all against me?" Dorian's lip trembled slightly, and he looked away, tears filling up his eyes, making Finian let go of his shirt with a growing lump in his throat.
"Because you're making the wrong decision Dorian. Sure, if the drug would have worked, then I wouldn't have a mind, but it's dangerous. Tell him, Joy."
Dorian noticed the black-haired woman, and he averted his eyes, remembering what he did in her bed only a few hours ago. Well, he had put the bedding in the washing machine and tried to air out the room, but it still was embarrassing to see her. Hell, he had even found dried cum on the bloody wall.
"Finian is right. This drug is hazardous. It has several side effects that alone are bad, but the worst is cancer. Everyone that has used the drug gets a very aggressive form of leukemia. Not one person has lived beyond a year. You can't take the drug!"
Dorian exhaled and closed his eyes, so very tired. Yes, he had known that there were high chances of getting the many side effects, but at the time, he had thought it was worth the risk. He had been desperate, he still was. With Shiro's brother's threat hanging over him, Dorian didn't know what else to do. Did he have to leave his beloved and his two children, the joy of his life, behind?
"I have been receiving threats," Dorian found himself saying in a low voice, thinking he had nothing more to lose.
And instantly, he felt a lot lighter as if he'd been carrying a burden he didn't realize weight him down so much.