Ken's POV
Three days after.
I had said that they mustn't visit oftentimes because I am not a good actress. But I want them to visit me when I got home. Gosh, I'm so naïve.
I can go home now. After four months, I am finally coming home. Chan has decided that he will accompany us do the packing, I didn't argue more because I don't want to be defensive or something.
The doctor also informed us about the medication for my cancer, and he said if I would want to undergo chemotherapy, I can go, but I said that will never happen. I want to die painlessly, without Chan knowing it. I don't want him to take care of me, might as well don't want him near me.
After that, they helped me to my wheelchair, because I am still weak. My body hadn't moved for months, so to fully recover, I need to practice moving every hour.
"Masaya akong uuwi ka na, Ken." Chandler said. I looked at my parents, they frowned. Then back at Chan, he flashed his sweet smile. His teeth as white as snow, and I recognized that smile is the one that I missed. I want that to remain on him, I know he would cry when I'm gone but it won't last, it will pass and he shall find someone, someone who's not sick; someone who's going to be with him forever.
As I felt my tears are forming, I looked away and pretended something is in my eyes. "I am, too." I flashed a smile as well.
"I missed that smile. I miss your smiling face, babe." He said. I didn't reply not because I don't want to, but because I don't know what to say. To escape this, I just nodded and smile weirdly. I saw sadness in his eyes but he just simply smiled again.
I'm sorry, babe.
*
It's good to be home after a long time in the hospital. But in the meantime, I can't do anything freely.
I hear conversations outside my room but I can't understand what are they talking about.
"Babe." Tawag ni Chan. Nakangiti siya at singkit na singkit ang kaniyang mga mata habang ngumingiti siya.
"Yes?"
"Tulungan kitang maglakad lakad?"
"Sige, tara." I held his lending hand and smiled as well.
"Dahan-dahan, baka masaktan ka." I suddenly stopped. No, baka ikaw ang masaktan ko, Chan. Forgive me for all of this.
I slowly stand up and step. Tapos bigla na lang ako na out of balance, buti na lang ay na-salo ako ni Chan. Hawak niya ako sa likod para 'di ako matumba.
I stares at blue his eyes, beautiful as ever. Those eyes are telling me what he feels inside. He's longing for me.
He leaned closer and closer until our lips are a few inch away. His lips touch mine and I sealed mine on his too for a second but I stopped and looked away.
"I think it's not a good idea. I'll do it next time, Chan. Help me sit again."
"Okay, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For what I have done. I didn't control myself."
"It's okay, let's not talk about it."
"Okay."
Neither of us said anything, occupying the room with silence. It's awkward now, I'm not used to it. So, I broke the silence. "Do you want to go in the living room? I think they're up to something." I stated.
Nakatulala siya kaya tinawag ko ulit siya. "Yes?"
"Sabi ko if you want to go in the living room? I am going." I started to drive my wheel chair.
"I'm going. Let me help you with that." He said. I nodded as an answer.
He pushes the wheel chair slowly and we walk towards the living room.
I saw my parents with Thaddeus, they're talking in the living room. "What is he doing here?" I heard Chan mumbled.
I called out, "Thad!"
"Excuse me, Tita. Hi, Ken! How are you?"
"Fine I guess. What are you doing here?" When I said that, Chan also mumbled it. I guess they're not in the good terms yet.
"I rented a new apartment just a few blocks away from here so I could go to you if you need help or a companion."
"Really? That's good. Chandler's condominium is---" I stopped talking, I realized I am not supposed to know that. So, I just said, "I assume it is near, right?"
"How do you know that?" With that, I panicked.