There's always more time, isn't there? We're always so confident in the idea of doing things tomorrow or doing things later. We're always investing towards a later time. Why is that we put so much faith in tomorrow? Retirement, Education, so on and so forth are all investments we put in hoping it will pay off tomorrow, when we have no idea whether we will wake up to see this tomorrow.
I almost pounced on my phone when it rang. I fumbled with it, almost dropping it, trying to pick up the call.
"Hello."
Silence
"Is anyone there?"
•
"Hello Zavian."
Despite the fact that Zavian was the name I answered to growing up, it was weird to hear the name again after so long.
"Hello Jewel."
"Who would've thought we'd run into each other again huh? Funny how fate works"
"Funny indeed. You seemed busy earlier, what brings you to New York anyways?"
"Would you believe me if I told you I came looking for you?"
My watch detected an unusually high pulse rate.
"Hahaha, you've always been the humorous one. I've missed this."
"Then why did you never reach out?"
"I - I don't know, I'm sorry. I just got- caught up with things here I suppose."
"Are you trying to convince me or convince yourself."
I couldn't form a response in my head to that. She continued to speak.
"Anyways, about lunch tomorrow. I'll meet you at le exquis at exactly 1:30. Don't be late."
"Yes ma'am."
I could hear her laughing through the phone. Butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't felt this in ages.
"Well, goodnight Zavian, I need some rest."
"Goodnight Jewel, sweet dreams."
Beep.
Did that just happen? I couldn't believe any of this. It was well past midnight and I was still up. I was still registering what happened.
Then why did you never reach out?
I was scared. I didn't know what to say. How to say it. All these emotions were fairly new to me. I hadn't felt so much in years. I wondered what would happen if I had reached out. Would things be.. different?
Sigh.
Live life with no regrets was one of the things I dreamt of doing as a child. Despite what I had achieved, I definitely didn't achieve that life. The past 7 years have been one regret after another. Sure I had money. But my money couldn't buy me time, time that I already lost.
It was already 2 A.M. It had been a very long time since I stayed up this long. I thought back to my teenage years, when I couldn't dream of sleeping before midnight. It felt like I was thinking about a different person.
I tried to sleep. However, I was preoccupied with my own thoughts. I couldn't catch a wink.
I watched the clock tick. Around 3 A.M. I decided to read a book. Suffice to say, I was lost within the beauty of the novel. When I looked up at the clock again, it was already 7.
I decided to skip gym today, as I had no time anyways. I went into my closet to pull out my best tux. It was a special day after all.
I went into work with a smile on my face. My employees were surprised to see me like this. I only wore this tux for the most important meetings and hardly ever smiled. My branch manager came up to me and asked if he had missed an important meeting in the schedule. I smiled and said.
"Well it was on short notice, but it's fine Khalid, I can manage this one on my own."
He stood there more confused than before. I never joked with my employees.
At around 12:20, I decided I should get something for her. It had been 7 years after all. I told Khalid that I'd be heading out early and may or may not come back. Khalid seemed to be worried by this.
"Is anything wrong sir? Are you feeling unwell?"
"Never better Khalid, just have plans with an old... friend"
I didn't know what to call her. Friend seemed appropriate. But somehow, the word felt weird in my mouth.
"Umm, well okay sir. Have fun?"
I could see Khalid's confusion and it made me laugh.
"Take it easy Khalid."
I decided to get her a chocolate. A Lindt Swiss classic dark chocolate to be precise. Her favorite. At least, I hoped it still was her favorite.
I showed up at the restaurant at 1:15. I preferred to be early. I waited at the door for her to arrive.
While I was waiting my thoughts drifted off to another time. A time before New York.
15 years ago
It was just another day. I was coming back home from somewhere. Looking outside the car window to see if any of my friends were playing football.
That's when I saw her. An angel on earth. It was as if she held Aphrodite's belt.
She was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. She was playing along with other friends of mine. I asked my parents immediately if I could go to play. They were glad to see me socializing more often.
"Jewel, RUN"
That's when I heard her name first. Jewel. What a pretty name, I thought to myself, just like her.
What I wouldn't give to relive that moment? To go back to that time.
The Present
"Do you daydream often?"
She said this whilst tapping on my shoulder. I realized I was lost in thought and didn't notice her walk right next to me.
"Oh sorry, I was just... thinking of stuff. Work related."
"Sure you were. I saw the look on your face."
I blushed. I didn't know what to say. She went on to open the door and held it open for me.
"Shall we?"
She had made a reservation in advance and hence we had no trouble finding a table.
We sat at the table staring at our menus for sometime. I decided to break the silence.
"So, what's the real reason behind you coming to New York?"
She smiled. I would die for that smile.
"I got transferred. I've been working in New York for around a year now. However, it was only recently I moved into a flat within walking distance of my workplace. You know how hard it is to find a decent place here for a reasonable rate. Anyways, leave all that. I'm hungry. I think I'll go with the Salmon Bisque. What about you?"
"Oh uh."
Truth be told I hadn't read a single thing on the menu so far. I was lost in thought.
"I'll have the same thing I guess."
I hated salmon.
"I got you something."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Here." I said, handing her the bag with the chocolate in it.
"You remembered."
"How could I forget?"
"Well seeing how easily you wiped me away from your life, I figured it would be pretty easy for you to forget what my favorite chocolate was."
Silence.
"I didn't know what to say, how to reach out."
"Oh I don't know, maybe an occasional Hi Jewel, how are you doing? Or at least a Happy Birthday Jewel wouldn't hurt you know"
Silence again.
"I'm sorry. There's no excuse for what I did. I didn't know whether you wanted to see me or hear from me again after, you know, how things ended between us."
She sighed at this.
"Remind me again how things ended between us?"
I stared at her. I felt confused. What is she implying. I dare not hope. I didn't know what to expect.
"I - I told you I liked you?"
"And what did I say?"
"You- you said you knew."
"Because I did. And?"
And what? Where is she going with this?
"And - and what did you want me to do then? I walked away."
She sighed again. And after a long pause, she said.
"If only you had waited another minute to ask me how I felt."