Chereads / I Know Your Secret / Chapter 12 - No Sleep

Chapter 12 - No Sleep

"She's losing too much blood!"

"Well, it's hard to tell whose blood belongs to who!"

"Her heart's dropping!!" The shrieking voices penetrated into Ori's ears harshly. They were so loud. Ori's back hurt, but she didn't know why. She didn't know where she was, or what was going on. All she knew was that she wanted to pain to stop. Where was Vivian? Ori couldn't hear her. Why was she hearing stranger's voices when Vivian was nowhere to be found? Ori tried opening her eyes; they were too heavy. Her thoughts were moving too fast. She couldn't stay focused on anything. Her mind drifted away. The voices and flashing lights left her and Ori was left in darkness.

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"Sir, there's been a complication." Watari came out of the shadows, a forlorn expression was cast across his face.

"What is it, Watari?" L turned away from the bright screen in front of him.

"Something happened at the Nanase residence."

"What happened?" L watched Watari suck in a breath, nervous.

"Ori was wounded, and her mother, Vivian, is dead. The police suspect that it was suicide." It wasn't. L knew that instantly. It wasn't a suicide, not of her own volition at least. Kira was certainly involved.

"That confirms Light of being Kira," L muttered. "He's one of the only ones who knew Vivian personally." He turned back to his screen. Pinching his lip between his fingers, her furrowed his brows slightly.

"What is Ori's condition now?"

"She's stable for the time being. She received a large laceration to the back and a minor concussion. The doctors say she can have visitors sometime tomorrow."

"I see. We'll go by tomorrow and see if she's up to talk about it. If not, then we'll just have to wait until she's emotionally stable." Watari nodded, then placed a plate of cake next to L and walked away.

Hopefully, this won't shake her resolution. If anything, I think this will make her more determined to find enough evidence to convict Light. L cut into his cake. I think I'm about to see a new side of Ori Nanase. First, she was untouchable, then she was serious, then she was flustered. Now... she's going to be broken.

"Ms. Nanase, you have some visitors." The brown-haired nurse opened the door for L and Watari. The nurse walked around Ori's bed to check her vitals, then he flashed a quick smile at Watari and quickly walked out. The lights were off; only natural light came through the small windows. Ori was laying on her stomach at the foot of the bed, arms tucked under her chin. Untouched food trays littered the two-tier table next to the bed. Her hair was tangled and stuck out every which way. Her normally vibrant eyes were lifeless and dull. When she looked at them, it was like she wasn't really registering their presence.

"I heard about what happened to Vivian. I'm sorry for your loss." His tongue felt heavy and thick in his mouth. Ori pursed her lips and grimaced. She removed one of her hands from under her, gently running it over her hair.

"I-I...umm- thanks." She blinked a few times. Her voice was quiet and her voice was harsh... like she had been screaming. She rubbed her temple briefly, squinting a little. "Sorry about the lights. Nurses said... I-uh-I had a concussion."

"Yes. I heard the same thing." L sat down on one of the chairs next to the end of the bed while Watari remained standing. A blanket was draped over her hips, the bandages peeking out from underneath her hospital gown.

"I know it was Kira, L. I know it." Her breath gave a hitch. "She wouldn't have done something like this."

"No... I don't think she would. So Kira brainwashed your mother to attack you, then he made her kill herself." She visibly flinched at his words.

"I didn't remember anything until after police came to talk to me. Shock along with the concussion, I guess."

"That makes sense. Though, I do have one question." She turned her head a little and let it drop on her arms. Around her eyes were red and swollen, the dark circles more prominent than ever before.

"Yeah?"

"You have nowhere to go. What will you do now?" She scratched her chin, a troubled look in her worn eyes.

"I'm not entirely sure." Her voice dropped to a low mutter. It wasn't a pitiful type of mutter. It was calculating and frustrated.

She's going to force out all the pain she's feeling as soon as she gets out of here. She's going to be so focused that she won't realize her heart is crumbling until it's too late. She was too valuable to this case to let her just leave now.

"Just come to the hotel with Watari and me." She looked up at him with wide eyes. There was a soft hope there. A small flicker that was quickly dashed out before L could analyze it too much. She nodded a little. "I get released in a week." Was all she said about it. L nodded and stepped off the chair.

"We'll pick you up, then." Watari opened the door, and L walked out. They were halfway down the hallway when Watari sighed sadly.

"It's a horrible thing, what happened to her mother," Watari said as they walked down the painfully white hallway.

"Yes, it is. Let's just hope this, at the very least, lights a fire under her."

"I hope you're not planning to exploit her mother's death as an excuse to make her work harder," Watari said with a small sigh.

"I doubt I'll have to, but if push comes to shove, I'll do what needs to be done." Watari was silent the rest of the way; L could feel the dissatisfaction that rolled off of the old man in waves. He had a soft spot for orphans. Whether or not that was a good thing, it usually depended.

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Her body felt numb. It was hard to move her fingers and hands, not that she should be moving them, to begin with. The only things she could feel was the pain in her throat, the steady beat of her heart, and the stickiness of the ointment on her back. When Ori has first woken up, she'd been so panicked. She didn't know where she was, what was going on, or why she wasn't in her room. It wasn't until the police came in and told her everything did she remember. She had been as calm as she could while they were in the room, but as soon as the door closed, her heart clenched painfully in her chest. Like someone was gripping it so tightly it would burst. And it did. Ori's heart exploded horrifically. All her agony came flooding out. She screamed and cried, tearing at her throat while the tears poured down her face. Nurses came rushing into the room, begging, pleading, for her to calm down. When she didn't, they injected morphine into her IV. The effect was instant. Her heart rate slowed to a soft thrum, she felt so hollow. So utterly empty that she had completely forgotten what it was like to feel anything, much less happiness and love.

'Love is the most beautiful thing to have, hardest thing to earn, and the most painful thing to lose.' Dr. John Ferguson said that once. She had thought dully. But hadn't been hard with Vivian. It wasn't just Ori. Vivian loved everyone. She loved life. She loved loving life. She didn't question anything about L when she met him. The way he sat, the oddly professional way he talked, even his monotone voice. She accepted all of him, instantly. That was just how she was. She loved and gave and-... and she was gone far too soon. She gave and Kira takes. She loved and Kira kills. They were complete opposites. So why was Kira winning? But that wasn't the real question. How had Kira killed her? She wasn't a criminal. She didn't have a criminal background. She was just the sweet psychiatrist who baked cookies for Ori's English teacher.

Now there was a new question. What now?

Then L had shown up, and all of Ori's thoughts ceased. Watari stood next to him, kind face sympathetic. She felt empty again. When she had felt panicked, at least she felt something. Now it was like there was an empty cavity where her heart had been. Her stomach felt like a bottomless pit. She was hungry, but couldn't bring herself to eat. The small pile of untouched food trays was proof enough of that.

"Just come to the hotel with Watari and me." He said. Ori wanted to cry in relief. If she took this, she could keep working on the Kira Case. She wouldn't have to limit her time like she had been doing before. But would she still have to drop out of school? And what about the house and everything inside? Would Ori have to say goodbye to it all? She had meant to voice her concerns. To basically reject his offer.

"I get out in a week." Was what came out. She didn't want to say it, but this was what she wanted more than anything. To work with L. Now they would be in the same building, the same room, side by side, searching for Kira. The thought made her head fuzzy. When L and Watari left, Ori was alone once more. She usually liked being alone, but not in a hospital bed. Not when all she could smell was disinfectant. She reached over on the bed, grasping the remote next to her. The news was the first thing to pop up. Ori grimaced and flipped to the next channel, where a popular anime was playing. She tossed the remote away. She wasn't really focusing on the TV at all; it was just a nice source of background noise.

"One week. I'm only here for one more week." It would fly by quickly. How long could it be?

Everything passed by with a blur. Ori was so focused on the Kira Case and getting out of her room, that it felt like she just closed her eyes for one moment, and when she opened them, she was sitting in the backseat of L's limo. She was barely aware of the way her back hovered against the back, not touching the smooth leather. She stared at the tinted windows. She couldn't see outside, couldn't see where they were going, but Ori didn't care. All she wanted, all she needed, was to get back to the hotel so she could continue the Kira Case. She didn't have her notes, they were still at the house, but she remembered the important things she had written inside.

But it's not just that. She thought slowly. All my clothes are there. My clothes and mom's clothes. Our things, the pictures. Her eyelids fluttered low for the briefest moment. She recalled the sounds of ripping sheets. The sounds of Vivian's cries, begging and asking for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry." She had sobbed. "I promise the pain will end. I don't want you to suffer anymore." Had Kira made her say that? Or was it just some kind of sick bonus for them? Ori bit the inside of her lip. Shoving all the ugly thoughts and feelings deep down, she looked over at L. He was staring at her with his wide eyes. Locked on her.

"I hope you aren't going to be distracted while we search for Kira." He said. "It would be quite troubling if you weren't able to focus." A week ago, that comment would've made Ori's blood boil. She would've frowned and said something snarky in return. But now... she only shook her head and wrested it on her hand.

"I can't afford to get distracted." She said quietly. Her throat still hurt, her voice was still course, but not as much as before.

"That's good to hear." He said, then fell silent. An uneasy atmosphere settled over them, until, finally, the car slowed to a stop. Watari opened the door with a smile. He held out his hand for Ori to take; her, now boney, fingers curled around his arm. She tried not to put her full wait on him while they walked, but her legs shook with effort and she couldn't help but slump against him. She hadn't taken a single step in a week, and she hadn't eaten anything the entire time. Her clothes hung off her body, but she didn't care. She couldn't eat. Her large appetite was gone and all she wanted to do was to sit down and go through as much new evidence as she could. She wouldn't stop this time. She wouldn't rest until Kira was revealed and she had the chance to confront them.

"Are you all right, Miss Ori?" Watari asked softly. The question barely registered in her ears. When she finally processed what he was saying, she looked over at him slowly.

"I'm fine, Watari. My legs have just atrophied a little bit. I'll be fine." She managed to upturn the corner of her mouth a little, then it fell faster than it had appeared.

Almost there. She thought breathlessly. We're almost there.

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"Maggie. I-... I heard about what happened with Vivian. I'm so sorry I didn't visit you. I didn't know until last night." Light wrapped his arm around Ori in a big hug as he used her alias. L watched in interest how Ori's face never changed. She just looked up at him with a tired expression. The circles under her eyes were almost darker than L's. She had been seated at the spare computer they had set up for her for the last three days. She hadn't moved to eat or shower. She went to the bathroom, but then silently climbed back into the chair, crossing her legs with her back straight. She never said anything; L knew her back was bothering her. He had been shown pictures of what her back looked like before he went to see her. The cut looked like an italicized J. Slanted and then curving just above her waist.

"I'm fine, Raito, but can you let me go? I need to get back to this." She pushed him away and locked her eyes back on the screen. She was looking over the security footage from the subway station. Yesterday, Raye Penber died of a heart attack. Right before he died, he maneuvered himself to look, to reach, at the closing doors on the subway.

"He saw Kira." Ori had said. Conviction deep in her voice. "Turn on the sound, maybe he said something." So they did. They turned on the sound and over the dull roar of people talking and rushing about, Raye said something. The audio was grainy, and his words were choppy. The only thing they had gotten was:

"Lie... me." Now, L was pretty sure what he had said, but there wasn't enough there, so he went back to other documents and new reports. Ori, on the other hand, had spent the last twenty-four hours listening to the audio. Her headphones plugged in and her eyes locked on the screen. He wondered if her eyes hurt, or when she would finally move onto something else.

The other members of the task force were worried, Matsuda more above everyone else. They all watched Ori with wide eyes and tilted eyebrows. Matsuda would look over at her and chew on his fingers before looking away. Ori never seemed to notice. It was like the entire world revolved around that computer in front of her. L understood that she wanted to find her mother's killer. He was fond of Vivian, and it was a shame that she was dead, but if this kept up, Ori would collapse of exhaustion before they found Kira.

Light continued to fuss over her, telling her that she was too skinny, that she had to eat something, that she had to shower. The entire time, Ori ignored him, still staring at the screen with the headphones over her ears. Light was right, L supposed. Ori's clothes hung off her body like she was a skeleton. Her wrists were bony and her cheeks were sunken in even further. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, hair falling into her eyes. She didn't even seem to register that.

"Everybody, listen. I have some news you all should hear." L turned in his chair. Everyone but Ori and Watari looked at him with wide, curious, eyes. He decided to let Ori's ignorance to the conversation slide.

"I have a construction team building a place for us to fo to for the Kira Case. Full time. It's almost done; just a few more days to a week left until we can all move in. It has twenty-three floors and an additional two floors below the ground. There's a helipad at the top, but the building is structured to where you can't see it, no matter where you're standing." Matsuda was grinning like an idiot, his fists pumping up and down in the air excitedly.

"This is so cool. We're, like, official now." L tries not to roll his eyes. He scooted closer to Ori. The screen flickered back to Raye reaching for the closing doors. He pulled the headphones off of her ears and paused the footage. She turned to him a little. Annoyance ghosting over her face.

"You won't be able to see your friend, Sora, anymore." She looked at him, not saying a word until she opened her mouth and said:

"Who?" She sounded like she really didn't care and reached for her headphones, but L pulled away.

"Sora Haku. The girl you met at the café."

Her face remained dead, but she finally nodded. "Oh... that's fine. She doesn't matter." Taking advantage of L's momentary confusion and surprise, she snatched her headphones back and shoved them over her ears. Her movements were stiff and slower than they usually were. She was supposed to be changing her badges at least once a day, but he knew that she wasn't. Her back was still straight, but he could see her wanting to slouch.

I'm amazed that her body hasn't shut down on its own yet. He thought with a tiny amount of amusement. Light was sitting next to Ori with a cup of tea cupped in his hands. He watched Ori wearily like he was waiting for Ori to finally slump against the chair or over the keyboard. If L was being honest, he was waiting for it too, but Ori stubbornly stayed awake.

"Wait, wait, wait," Aizawa ordered. "How come none of this was brought up before?"

"Because it wasn't done yet." L replied instantly.

"But it's not done now." Aizawa countered.

"But it's almost done. Just a few more days. Didn't you hear me the first time?" Matsuda laughed, but, other than that, no one made a sound. When L had finally had enough, he turned away from the group and crawled back into his chair.

"Wow! This place is so nice. I don't wanna go back to my apartment." Matsuda shouted in delight as they walked into the large room of computer screens. Ori didn't say anything. She didn't even look around her at the environment she was going to be working in. She made a beeline for a chair and plopped down, which had apparently pissed Matsuda off. L watched as the seemingly innocent man grabbed a cupcake from the tray in Watari's hands, marches over to the unsuspecting girl, grabs her nose, and shoves the cupcake into her mouth. Her dull eyes widened and flicker as she chokes in surprise. When Matsuda finally lets go, the cupcake tumbles from Ori's. mouth and into her hand. Frosting covered her face and her mouth was set into a thin line. Her hair falls over her face as she looks down at the dessert in her hand. Matsuda doesn't apologize or laugh, but he does speak. His words come out like growls as he jabs a finger at Ori.

"All right, I'm done! I get that you're going through a hard time, and I can't imagine how much pain you must be in, but that doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself! You are just as important as anyone else on this team! What would your mother think if she saw you acting like this? Do you think she would be proud of you or something?! Do you think she would be please at how her daughter was acting?! No! She wouldn't! Now go to your room, clean yourself up, eat something, then go to bed!" Matsuda's seething when he's done. L didn't think he could shout like that.

Ori doesn't look surprised, she doesn't look outwardly angry. She's wearing a chillingly calm expression as she stares at Matsuda through her hair. When she speaks, at last, her voice is soft and no longer raspy.

"Are you at all religious, Matsui?" She asks. Her voice is so calm that it gives L shivers. He sees Matsuda gulp and nod a little.

"Y-yes. I am." Ori nods herself in understanding. She sets the cupcake down and takes the napkin Watari holds out to her, thanking him. She wipes her mouth clean of frosting and crumples the napkin up into a ball, dropping it next to the mushed cupcake.

"I suggest you pray to whatever god or gods you believe in that I don't kill you when I come back later." Before she walks away, Watari whispers something in her ear. Thanking him again, she walks off.

"What did you tell her?" L asks after he walks over to the old man. He lets out a small chuckle and holds out a cookie to L.

"I told her where her room was. It seems that she might actually listen to Matsui."