"I don't know." The words were foreign on his tongue. Watari's smile fell into a sad frown.
"Well, you could take a chance and tell Ori how you feel and hope that she reciprocates your feelings, or you could keep it all to yourself until the secret eats you alive. The choice is yours, but you've always been honest to a fault. And besides, this involves Ori too. She shouldn't be left in the dark, but choice remains yours." Watari bowed once then glided from the room. L gnawed at his lip. Watari had a point, he knew that, but he couldn't let himself become distracted with something as trivial as feelings, especially the romantic kind.
'I can think about this more after Kira's found. For now, I have to stay focused.'
Despite his thoughts, L found himself making his way to Ori's floor.
<> <> <>
"I told you! It's not like that!" Ori shrieked with a hot face. Doc's raised eyebrow showed how just how little he believed her. He sighed and ruffled his graying hair. Ori talked to him through a computer, but that didn't stop Ori from feeling flustered.
"Orien, it's all right to have feelings for someone, even after experiencing a tragedy."
"I don't- not for- dammit! I already said it's not like that!"
"If it's not, then why are you getting so worked up? Do you wish it was?"
"I'm getting worked up because you've been bringing it up for the last three sessions; I'm losing patience!" Doc just nodded slowly and proceeded to write something down on the notebook in his lap.
"What are you even writing down?!"
"I'm merely writing down what needs to be written." He said with a smug smile.
"What kind of cryptic fuckery is that?!"
"Language, Orien." He said in a warning tone.
"Which one? Because I'm pretty whether we talk in English or Japanese doesn't change how crazy you sound right now." Before Doc could say anymore, there was a soft knock on her door.
"Honey, it's L. Could I come in?" Ori's face erupted into heat, and Doc began to snicker.
"Ooh~, it's L? How interesting." She shot him a withering stare, glad she was using her earbuds.
"You shut up." She said with a growl.
"Is now a bad time? I can come back if you're busy." L called out.
"N-no, it's all right. I'll be right there."
"Tell me how it goes, Orien!" Doc smiled, which only irritated Ori further.
"Would you fuck off?!" Without letting him scold her again, Ori slammed the laptop closed. She dragged herself off the bed and slouched her way to the door. Trying not to yank it off the hinges in annoyance and rage, Ori pulled the door open and slowly as she could.
"Are you OK?" L cocked his head to the side; it made him look like a cat.
"Yeah, I'm good. Doc's just pushing my buttons."
"Isn't that his job?"
"Yes, and he's doing it too well." She threw another glare in the direction of her laptop like everything was its fault. She looked back at L and moved out of the doorway.
"Did you want to come in?"
"Yes, thank you. There's something you need to know." He stepped passed her and stood awkwardly in the middle of her too big room. She closed the door and leaned against it, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Look, if this is about Kira-"
"It's not!" He said hastily, then regained his loose composure. "It's not about the case. It's something I've only realized recently. Well, Watari was the one who brought it to my attention, and it's about you. I didn't want to leave you in the dark, but, at the same time, I don't know how to say this." He continued to ramble about being "completely unsure but knowing he had no choice". He looked flustered and fidgety and if Ori wasn't so worried and freaked out and confused, she would've found the whole this hilarious.
"L, what's going on? Are you OK?"
"Yea. No. I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying."
"Well... why don't you sit down and think about it for however long you need to. I was going to go down for lunch after my meeting with Doc. I can go if you need to be alone."
"No! I need you here." He gazed at her with pleading eyes. He had curled himself into his usual ball on the bed, his fingers swimming against his shins.
"Dude, you're starting to freak me out. What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. Everything's perfect and I'm scared I'm going to ruin it." His quivering fingers stilled and wrapped themselves around his knees. Ori watched all of this with wide eyes. He looked vulnerable. He looked human. She walked closer until she cod reached out and touch him, and when she did, he flinched but didn't move more than that.
"It's all right to be scared. You may be the greatest detective in the world, but you're a living being first. You're allowed to have feelings. I'm glad that you trusted me enough to tell me." Her words were bitter on her tongue. She was such a hypocrite. Talking about trust when the only person Ori ever trusted was now dead, but L didn't say anything for a while or even look at her. When he did finally speak. His voice was softer than she had ever heard before. He trembled under her slim fingers and his face was ablaze. At first, Ori thought he was sick, but then his mouth moved and he spoke. It sounded like it was something he had rehearsed in his mind a thousand times, but never dared say aloud until now.
Ori's hand tensed on L's shoulder and her heart stuttered in her chest. She knew her eyes and mouth were wide in surprise, but she couldn't close either. L hesitantly looked up at her. Face pink, his dark eyes searched her face. What was he looking for? What did he want from her? What was he expecting? What should she say? She didn't know how to handle a situation like this.
'C'mon! Say something! He's waiting for you to say something!' Her brain screamed at her, but the signals to move her mouth were malfunctioning.
"I-I... umm. Ha-I-" she couldn't breathe, her mind was spinning and her vision felt hazy.
"See? I ruined it. I'm sorry; I'll leave you alone." Ori snapped out of her foggy haze. He pushed her hand off his shoulder gently with cool, soft, fingers. Ori tried not to jump at the sudden contact.
L made his way to the door before stopping.
"I don't expect you to say it back, but, whenever you're comfortable, please come talk to me. I don't want this to interfere with the case when you come back." And just like that, he was gone. Once she was alone, Ori noticed the violent tremors shaking her legs. When she couldn't hold urself upright any longer, she collapsed against the bed. Her face felt hotter than any fever she had ever experienced.
Her eyes remained trained on the door like she was expecting him to come back. Or was she hoping? Ori didn't know what she wanted from this, but his words made her heart pound.
'I'm in love with you.'