Seasons pass only to be followed by the same predictable seasons all over again. This town never changes. That fact was once what Shane loved most about the place he calls home. Now, he feels like a stranger here. He's getting older, everyone is. Can't time just stop for a while? Isn't that what this land promises? For the earth to stand still? What's the point if everything stays the same around you while you slowly fade more and more into the color grey?
It's spring again. The same spring that has come and gone twice since Zach left. Winters never last long in Shanan with its mild climate; and the return of the sun marks the end of its temporary reign. Shane might find winter more enjoyable if its days weren't marked by overcast skies and frigid winds. In April, May, and June the flowers return, the grass greens, and more importantly, the crops begin their cycle. At the same time, these warm weather months bring to the surface once more his memories of the boy winter has helped him forget.
"Shane, will you go into town and get me the things on this list?" asks Granny as the young man steps down the stairs with his basket of laundry. "I just don't have the strength to go myself today. I may lie down to rest for a while."
Granny never takes naps during the day. It would go against everything she's worked for her whole life to start now at being sedentary during sunlight hours.
"Sure thing."
He kisses her cheek after setting down his load and grabs a stack of cash from the dish on the table. "Be back soon."
Granny sits down at the table and tries to catch her breath as she straightens the placemats and sorts the napkins. She eyes the laundry brought downstairs by her grandson who was undoubtedly planning on washing them himself. A sigh escapes her lips.
"Oh, get up, old woman," she pushes herself off the chair. "You can do this one last thing, then take a break."
Shane arrives at the small grocer's, gathers the items on his list, and returns to the front of the store to find not the shop owner, but a friend behind the counter.
"Candice?" he asks, waving when she looks up from her magazine with a pop of her gum.
"Oh, hey Shane."
She closes the magazine and rests her chin in her hand, plucking the gum from her mouth as he grabs one last item off the shelves.
"Where's old Miles?" he asks, unloading his basket onto the counter to be checked out.
She lets out a huff as she drags the items over the scanner and drops them into bags.
"The old coot had a nasty fall last night. Nothing's broken, but he was too sore to come in today. His wife asked me to cover. Told me she'd see to it I was paid double what I normally am." She rolls her eyes and smiles, tilting her head to him once more. "Good to see you out and about."
Shane raises his brow at her words, so she goes on, "I just mean I haven't seen you much since I'm not working with the old man every day. Feel like we don't talk as much as we used to. I see you around town sometimes but I miss our conversations at the dinner table. I miss the old you."
She takes his money and offers his change while he scoffs lightly, nodding at his friend. "I remember the days when you and everyone else thought of me as the terror of the town."
"Hey, still do, at that," she insists, leaning over the scanner to snatch a lollipop. "You know how weird it was seeing a little boy get so excited over other boys? And you're still that same little boy," she teases, ripping the plastic from her catch, "just...older now. A little more lovable, too." Shane winces dramatically at her words.
"Speaking of, you keep in contact with that kid? What was his name?"
He sighs. "Zach. And no, I don't."
"Hm," she says, absentmindedly. "Too bad. I liked him."
Shane nods, suddenly wanting to leave. "You're probably not the only girl to think that. I'm sure he's attracting a lot of attention wherever he is now."
"Hey now," she argues, pulling her lollipop from her cheek. "Not every girl is worried only about looks. Brains are important too, ya know. And kindness." She juts her chin out a bit and adds, "Dedication. A hard-working mentality." Then, picking up a group of carrots from his paper bag, "Appreciation of vegetables?"
Shane smiles. "Not talking about anyone specific now, are we?" He snatches the carrots from her grasp.
She sighs again and resumes her bored stance behind the counter.
"No girl is ever going to approach the likes of you, Shane. Everyone is more than aware of your tastes. It's true you were a terror as a child, but in a way, you're a real legend here in Shanan. You've not only opened a whole lotta people's minds to the bigger world despite never leaving this town yourself, but you've also taught the likes of the worst of us to be accepting of folks and lovin' em no matter what our differences."
Shane looks at her skeptically while loading the bags into his arms to leave.
"And what's strange is you don't even realize it." She throws a hand out toward him, aware of the fact that he's trying to brush off her compliment. "You're just...you, forever. And trust me, your 'you' is not a shy soul."
"I think you may be getting worked up over nothing."
"It's not nothing! This is the 90's, after all! What I'm saying is you live your life very loudly while not interfering with the quiet lives of others. You are the definition of harmony. You're the best of both worlds! You're the --"
"Ok, ok," he calls out with a laugh. "I...guess I know what you mean. The thought to hide or be ashamed has never once crossed my mind. But I guess I'm starting to understand now why others might want to do just that."
She spins her candy around behind her lips. "Naw, that's not what I mean."
Shane rolls his eyes, but before he can turn away, she continues.
"Anyhow, the point of all that," she says, her drawl becoming more pronounced as she moves her flustered hands around, wondering what to do with them, "is that you should keep being you. Come out more often, make conversation like ya used to. I dunno, smile more!"
Shane looks at her in shock. Then, doubling over, he lets a burst of hearty laughter overtake him. Was this her way of trying to cheer him up? It's true, he wasn't acting like his normal self these days.
Wiping his eye, he agrees, "Yeah, I think I'll do just that. Hey, Candice. Thank you."
"Oh, get outa here," she whines after stretching her arms over the counter to embrace him along with his bulging paper bags into a tight hug.
Shane's smile returns during his short walk home. Candice was right. He was letting someone else, as well as his leftover feelings for that person, decide how he acted. It was turning him into someone he's not, causing his moods to swing without warning with the seasons.
He backs up into the door, pushing the screen open with a hip, and turns to see a figure on the dining room floor among a pile of clothes.
"Granny?"
"GRANNY!"
He drops the bags where he stands and grabs the phone off the wall on his way toward the motionless form.
No. No, no, no. Not now! I can't lose another person. I'm not ready. Please! Please be ok!
_______________
The next few hours play out before him in slow motion, just as he had so foolishly wished that morning.
The operator on the other end of the line had directed his call to the appropriate medic. Everyone did their job and did what they could.
The town doesn't even have a proper ambulance. Just a van and a small-time doctor paid by the hour. No hospital. No time. There was nothing they could do.
By mid-afternoon, Shane is back in his home, hugging his sister, who is unaware of the day's events and what they would mean for the siblings' lives.
The clock ticks in the background of the otherwise silent house. She pats his head, enjoying the boy's attention as they sit together on the sofa, and he hides the pain on his face in the warmth of her neck.
Soon, she becomes bored with the young man, voicing her irritation at the confinement of her limbs and the feel of his breath. Shane allows her to stand, and grabbing her hand once more, says softly,
"Don't ever leave me, sis. Okay?"
Maddie shakes her other hand in the air then brings it to her mouth, tapping her lips, wondering in confusion when she would finally be able to have some lunch.
The woman lovingly known as Granny is buried on the farm she loved for so much of her life, next to the flowering grave of her daughter.