ISABELLE's POV
What happened that day in the church really put me and my family into humaliation.
That shuould be my wedding day for pate's sake! Pero anong ginawa ng magaling kong fiancè kuno? Nakabuntis!
4 years na kami in a relationship but he had been cheating on me behind my back for 3 years! At nabuntis pa nya ang babae nya!
He proposed to me sa birthday ko at laking tuwa ko namang nag-yes sa kanya. I thought I am the happiest woman that day when he proposed, because he is my first love, first boyfriend, and first of everything I have aside for my v-card.
I may not look like it but I am a romantic person and a conservative one when it comes to sex. Gusto ko, my first time would be on my wedding night at sa lalaking mapapangasawa at mahal ko.
Pero anong ginawa nya? He cheated and got pregnant his mistress... at ang mas malala ginawa nya akong katawa-tawa sa araw ng kasal ko.
Ang mas malala his mistress arrived telling everyone that she is pregnant and Michael is the father!
Then everything fall into chaos ng maglabas ng baril ang babae ni Michael and tried to shoot me.
The one whom I thought is my fiancè saved me kaya sya ang natamaan.
I got scared that Michael will die when saw the one who saved me bleeding and collapsed unconsciously in front of me.
Kaya napa-isip ako na maybe may pagkukulang ako sa kanya kaya sya natukso and willing akong patawarin sya because he will give up his life just for me to live at napatunayan nya ito.
I am willing to fight for him kahit nabuntis nya ang kabit nya. Willing akong tangggapin ang anak nya...
But that was all my delusion... everything cracked and shattered the moment na sinabi ng akala ko fiancè ko na hindi sya si Michael but his sister Sven Samañiego.
The damn man let his own sister impersonate him!
I asked him later after his sister maipadala sa hospital.
"Why?"
"..."
"Why did you do this to me?"
"..."
Still there is no answer from him at hindi man lang makatingin sa akin.
Naiinis at nagagalit ako sa kawala nya ng sagot na maibigay.
"D-did y-you even love me?"
I stuttered asking him this dahil takot ako sa sagot nya na ni minsan hindi nya ako minahal na laro lang ako sa kanya.
Pero wala pa rin syang imik kaya di na ako nakapagpigil at pinagpupukpok ko na sya dahil sa galit.
"Sagotin mo ako, hayop ka! Sagotin mo ako!" Umiiyak ko nang sabi sa kanya. "Minahal mo ba ako, ha, Michael Carlitos Madrigal? O pinaglalaruan mo lang ako? Sumagot ka!"
Hinawakan nya ang magkabilang kamay ko at hinalikan nya ako ng madiin.
"Mahal kita... minahal kita, Kristine... I did love you..." sabi nya sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.
At ramdam kong totoo ang sinasabi nya sa akin ngayon. Dama kong mahal nya ako, na minahal nya talaga ako pero...
"Bakit? Nagkulang ba ako, Michael? Nagkulang ba ako sa'yo ng pagmamahal? May kulang pa ba?"
Tumingala at napatingin ako sa kanyang mala-asul nyang mga mata. There in his eyes have some emotions I don't know how to read it, na ngayon ko lang nakita.
"Am I... not enough for you?" I whispered pero alam kong dinig nya iyon.
Napa-isip ako kung bakit sya nambabae pero... di maganda ang kinalabasan, di maganda ang naiisip ko.
Ayaw kong magtanong dahil natatakot ako at baka kamuhian ko sya kung 'yon ang dahilan.
Nabuntis niya ang babae nya kaya kinakailangan ko tatagan ang sarili ko at tanongin sya ng harap-harapan.
"I-is it b-because I can't give it to-"
Hindi ko na natapos ang tanong ko nang bigla syang napapikit ng mata at nag-iwas ng tingin.
SLAP!
I slapped him hard but I am not contented.
SLAP!
SLAP!
Sinampal ko sya ng ilang beses pero the pain I am feeling right now won't heal.
"DAMN YOU! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THOSE GUYS WHO ONLY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!" Pasigaw kong sabi sa kanya.
A bitter smile rose from my lips. "What an irony... you said and promised you can wait for me. Na kaya mong pangatawan ang pangako mo, na kaya mong maghintay until our wedding because you are serious in our relationship at alam mo ang gusto ko and you respected it... hahaha... 'yon pala..."
There is a hole in my heart that is so deep and no light can be seen in there.
"You're the wosrt! You don't love me, Michael, because if you are then you won't let your sister to impersonate you. Why did you do that?"
Ang loko, he only said that he don't want me to be humiliated at dapat kakausapin nya si Noreen, yes that's what his kabit name is, pero anong nangyari?
Ito pinagmamasdan ang kapatid nya, na kamuntikan nang mamatay dahil sa kagaguhan nya, na nanggagalait-lait sa galit.
It seems that she too is a victim in that situation.
Thinking about it properly that day, "the Michael" that time seems out of it. Na ilang beses na nyang sinubukan magsalita to the point na napasigaw sya sa galit before falling unconscious.
"Sorry..." is all I could say to her dahil siya ang napagbuntungan ko ng galit.
And I hate to admit it but...
"I thought-"
"You thought na sinamahan ko sa kagaguhang idea-ng 'yon si Michael, right?" She sarcastically said.
"Sorry, I really am."
I apologize again because I did thought of that at plano ko talagang sakanya ko ibaon ang galit ko kay Michael. That's why I can't look at her properly sa kanyang mga mata.
"*Sigh* Do I really... look like him? He is not even my twin brother... ugh, damn... ang sakit.."
"Oh my god..." nakita ko na lang siyang nakayuko pa rin and in pain. Her back where her injury is, is bleeding!
Dali-dali akong napalapit sa kanya at natataranta sa kung anong gagawin ko.
"Just wait here for a sec. Samañiego, tatawag lang ako ng doctor."
There iniwan ko sya at tumawag na ng doctor.
I totally forgot that I too am a doctor and a young one at that, because I am 24, and forgot to be calm at a time like this especially if I am going to be a cardiac surgeon.
After that the doctor said na bumuka lang ulit ang injury ni Samañiego.
Now I feel so ashamed pa'no ba naman kasi I know na kabago-bago pa ng sugat nya nagawa ko pang diinan ang pagkapatong ng kamay ko sa kanya.
Then sinakatan ko sya physically and lastly, I made her so tense in anger dahil sa ginalit ko sya at dahil na rin sa galit ko sa kapatid nya.
"I'm-"
"Haist... tama na nangyari na, eh... at di na ako galit. Quits na tayo nakapaglabas ako ng sama ng loob pati na rin ikaw, though..." she paused and looked at me. "You don't look like you're okay. I can't blame you... sino ba naman ang gustong masira ang kasal nya?"
She is becoming bubbly... from what I can see.
"Balik nga tayo sa tanong ko... do I really look like him?"
Napatingin ako sa kanya then observe her intently. Maybe because I did not quickly answer her question kaya nagtanong ulit sya.
"Minahal mo ba talaga si Michael?"
Nabigla ako sa tanong nya at nainsulto sa tanong nyang 'yon pero tuloy-tuloy pa rin sya sa kakasalita.
"If you are... dapat nahalata mo ang pagkaka-iba namin."
Naningkit ang mga mata ko sa galit dahil parang minamaliit at kinuqueation nya ang pag-ibig ko kay Michael.
Pero this damn girl nakapikit ang mga mata.
"I admit that we have some similarities but..." with her pause she open one of her eyes and look me in the eyes and smiled yet there is sadness in it. "Don't get me wrong galit ako sa kanya, galit ako sa kanila, yet there is saddness I am feeling right now for him."
"What do you mean?"
Oo galit ako ngayon na naman sa babaeng ito but her smile and the look she is giving me really affected me. She then close her eye before answering me.
"You should have notice our differences physically." Natatawang sabi nya. "Isipin mo ha... he is physically big and tall."
Gumagalaw-galaw ang kamay nya as if she is making a point and wants to let me see it.
"I don't see them always but alam kong may dimple sya when he smiles, may lunal sya sa gilid ng mata nya."
Why do I feel something is off in her tone while pinpointing their differences. Then binuka nya muli ang kanyang mga mata at tumingin sa akin.
"Do you see the difference in my eyes and his?" Tanong nya sa akin pero di ako makasagot. "Nakatitig pa ako sayo nong araw na yon."
The unease feeling at that day came back to me. Michael's eyes are blue, electric blue when he smiles, yet Samañiego's are dark, black nothing more.
Now I can only see the differences between the two of them not their similarities.
Mas promenent ngayon ang pagkakaiba nila. Why didn't I notice it that time?
No, napansin ko but binaliwala ko lang ito at inakalang imagenation ko lang 'yon.
Samañiego still talked many things about Michael such as his mannerisms to his favorates until she fell asleep.
But before she fall asleep she told me this: "Kung mahal mo talaga ang kapatid ko... then fight for the love you have for him... because it hurts. It hurts... for the person who thought the one he/she loves will fight for them until the end but gives you up na walang pasabi-sabi..."
"You sure know--"
Di ko na naituloy ang sasabihin ko dahil tulog na si Samañiego.
"You sure talk a lot Samañiego when you take your medicine." I said to the sleeping person.
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