Adanna
The hallway was a lot more crowded today. A few of them lingered chatting away oblivious to time and prying eyes.
No whispers or snarky comments just subtle glances and stunned expressions. I was daring the management, breaking a few rules was one of my first out of comfort zone act. It wouldn't take long before I was hauled into an office forced to explain all of it.
"Adanna" I turned to face our principal her wrinkly face etched with a scowl. Did she even know how to smile? Or was she just done trying.
"You know the rules" she sighed handing me a few wet wipes. Her heels clicking against the tiles, she made her way towards her office steps fading with her dreary aura.
I rubbed my sweaty palms together, increasing my pace towards the bathroom my head hung low in shame.
Things didn't go as planned they never did, I locked myself in one of the stalls hidden from everyone. Footsteps, someone was coming hugging my knees to my chest I sat on the toilet seat.
"Did you see her face?" someone chuckled.
"That's what you're talking about? , I was wondering how she could still fit through the door" Another snickered.
"Please shut up, you're twice her size" The other countered as they bickered on, their footsteps fading away.
Once I was sure they were gone, I moved towards the mirror gazing at my reflection in the dusty mirror.
All this for nothing, What exactly was I trying to prove? What did I think was going to happen? What did I hope to change? I scrubbed my face till it was raw and free of even an iota of makeup.
"Stupid fake makeup!, over primped hair!" I yelled pulling at my hair till my roots were aching, silently begging me to stop.
"Hey" A voice rasped out, the foreign accent was alluring but I honestly couldn't care less. She probably thought I was crazy yelling at my reflection in an empty restroom. I guess I was a bit crazy.
A disheveled mess, I looked up to see a petite brunette. She seemed familiar but I could figure her out.
"Are you okay?" she cautiously asked. Subtly searching for injuries or anything out of the ordinary.
I scoffed at the irony of the statement not really in the mood to entertain a conversation.
"I'm kosi, just got here a few days ago"she said slumping down next to me.She was either persistent or not very observant.
"Is that yours?" she gestured towards the discarded backpack inside one of the stalls. I wanted to be nice at least just once even I she was a stranger.
I grabbed my backpack rummaging through it in search of my hoodie.The velvety fabric was cool against my skin. This was it back under the covers again just like before.
I turned to face kosi, slinging my backpack over my shoulders. She seemed nice and I wasn't trying to be rude it's just been a rough morning.
Flashing her a tight lipped smile I waved her goodbye. I hoped that we would see each other again. A kind hearted soul willing to talk to a messy stranger in an empty restroom without judgement.
Her entire face lit up,She eagerly waved in back in response. Guess she hoped we'd see each other again as well, at least one good thing came from all this.
I stormed my way down the hallway, through the burgundy doors. The cool breeze nipped at my skin, it was soothing considering my circumstances.
The atmosphere was tense and the silence dreary. Just the way I like it. I held on tightly to the straps of my backpack making my way down the flight of stairs.
Sure enough sneaking out of school wasn't easy but somehow I managed to pull it off. The walk home gave me time to reflect on the past hour.
Why did I do it? The same question ringing through my mind, why? I still don't know, was I being impulsive?
Did I finally want to fit in? Things like this never bothered me. Was I in desperate need of attention? Sure I feel a bit neglected but that was understandable with our situation at home.
_______
I pushed the door open, it creaked moving backwards. I didn't expect anyone to be home. David was at school today, he finally got his lazy self off the couch and was also clean this time.
Baby steps, I've heard that one too many times. It's all going down the drain in the next few hours.
He was trying, but a habit like that is always hard to beat just one setback and you're back to square one.
Mum couldn't be back from the office either, it was too early. And my father? He should be passed out on a friend's couch or a bar close by.
The living room was empty, I migrated into the kitchen clenching my fists. It could just be nothing, I was probably fussing over nothing just like I always do.
But it wasn't.
My heartbeat accelerated, blinking once, then twice then again trying to blink away the image before me.
I stood still, frozen. Slowly taking hesitating steps backwards.
The clatter of keys reverberated round the room,the cool metal slipping
through my fingers.
I didn't know what to say.
What words could be used to express the feeling of your trust being ripped to shreds by that least anticipated someone?
She turned to face me eyes wide. Creasing her brows, she stayed frozen matching my stance.
I stood still darting my eyes between both of them. Eyes wide from shock.
The slightest twitch of her limbs sent me dashing through the hallway and out the front door.
____
Sobs wracked through me, the horrid scene etched to memory.The cruelty that is my reality could only be a game played by fate at the expense of my sanity.
It couldn't be someone else, they both couldn't be other people? It would hurt so much less.
The familiar burgundy doors, nothing but a blur as I covered the distance. I should've stayed at school anything would've been a lot better than this.
My steps ceased, I set myself down under a eucalyptus tree, it's leaves protecting me from the sun my head in between my knees.
I trusted her more than anyone even more than I trusted myself.
Seconds felt like hours, minutes, days I don't know how long I spent under this tree in the comfort of my own embrace.
The distant chiming of bells forced me to my feet.
School was over, as much as I loathed the idea of returning to that building, I still had to.
The constant chatting and bickering of students flooded my ears, the cacophonic sound almost impossible to tune out.
I made my way past the throng of students and parents towards Chioma's class.
_______
There she was her bag in one hand and the other wrapped around simdi staring far off in the distance lost in thought.
Moments like these make me forget that she's just a ten year old child with a father suffering from a bipolar disorder.
"Chioma!" I whisper yelled beckoning her over.
Simdi rushed into my arms bouncing up and down eyes twinkling with glee. Her naturally bubbly personality a much needed distraction.
With hesitant steps on my part we made our way out.