Verity's Pov :
Life sucks ass. I suck ass. I hate myself. I'm a fuck up.
That's all I say to myself. That is my motivation to suicide any day now. I can't live with the fact that I'm a failure. When will I succeed? Never? Yeah ik, never.
My demons swallow me day by day. There's no end to them. I feel like I'm on a giant roller coaster of emotions which keep increasing day by day.
Sometimes my life is just a road, where I'm just continuously running. There's no end to this road and I'm just tired of running but I can't stop either.
Sucks to be me. I don't wanna be me anymore. Can I just die already? When will this end? This labyrinth gets deeper daily! I wanna get out but it's just endless at this moment and I'm tryna find peace but.... It feels like I'm looking for something that doesn't exist.
I feel like I'm looking for a me which isn't even me. I'm looking for a better me but I can't because that me does not exist. I can't be better.
Can I?
All my life, yes, the entire 16 years of my existence have been hell. Even Satan doesn't want me anymore. I have no intention to go on. My parents left me last summer because I'm not who they want me to be. I'm not the 'perfect daughter' as per their interpretation. I'm done with just people hating on me and me hating on myself even more. I hate me a lot more than people ever could.
High school might help and I might get new friends , is all I keep chanting. Its worrysome how I keep hoping for the rainbows even in the storm when all I see is thunderclouds covering every last ray of sunshine. I'm tired of lying to myself and saying that I can do it when I clearly can't. Everyone can see I can't.
Hot tears stream down my cheeks and vanish into thin air as they fall from my eyes. I look down from the 30th floor of the apartment which happens to be the roof and think of jumping , leaving all my sorrows and pains behind. But then, that would be just leaving them behind. It wouldn't be the end , right?