Celeste was a dumb bitch. She was ushered into the room by Alex. She was shocked seeing me still breathing and even said as much.
"What the fuck are you even doing still breathing?" She sneered at me.
"Oh a full confession just like that?" Alex was caught between impressed and disgusted but the audacity and stupidity of this woman.
He back handed her hard against the wall, "How FUCKING DARE YOU! You come in and harm one of my guests? NO you tried to KILL a FRIEND of MINE!" Alex shouted at her.
Crying she cradled her face in her hands, "Alex, I'm sorry have mercy on me."
Farel calm and composed comes up behind her grabbing her chin and top of her head firmly, "He is not the one you should be begging for mercy from, but even then I would not be the one to give it to you. We Fae take care of our own."
Farel holds her struggling body still by her head as Lar comes with a dark bottle to her neck and she starts scrambling to try and get away. It's futile as Lar slices her neck and slowly her blood starts to flood out the wound flowing into the bottle without a drop wasted. I watch as the light fades from her eyes.
"Did you warn the ones who said nothing?" Farel asks Alex and he nods.
Alex turns and walks over to me and sits by me on the bed, "Maria, I.." He reaches out for me and I quickly recoil from his touch, my skin is too sensitive to be touched right now. He may have taken it another way though.
He sighs, "I'm sorry. I would never force you to do something you would regret later. Thank you for believing me earlier."
He gets up and handles Celeste's corpse while Lar and Farel are busy doing something with the bottle. I don't know what I should be doing right now, I'm still not one hundred percent functional. They just killed Celeste because she would have killed me if I'd been anyone else. Still I didn't know if I should feel guilty for the outlaw justice that she was given or venerated by their loyalty to me, who they really hardly know.
"Mija?" Lar is suddenly right by me and I didn't notice. I jump, squeaking slightly from being startled and clutch the sheet up against my chest.
"Sorry, I was lost in thought." breathing heavy I start to relax back down.
Lar never the less looks stung by my reaction and takes a step back. "It's okay mija, just get some rest and we'll check on you later in the morning tomorrow. Don't worry, you can stay here in your room and relax. We will take care of everything."
He exits the room and Farel gives me a nod, "Sorry for that, but her time was near anyways, if we had not killed her, her boyfriend would have once he had heard. Get some rest Maria, we will see you tomorrow."
Now it's just me alone. I grab my phone and see I have 4 missed calls and 10 messages all from John in the past 2 hours. Now guilt washes over me as I remember what Alex was doing to me earlier, how I encouraged it thoughtlessly, how I enjoyed it.
In fact just thinking about it I could still feel his touch on my skin
and his lips on my neck
and that kiss.....
I was feeling warm and tingling all over.
And ashamed.
I read the messages and finally sent one back after carefully wording what needed to be said. I told him I was fine. I love him and miss him, that I was sorry for not getting in touch with him sooner but I have been busy being an interpreter and I just looked at my phone. That I couldn't wait to see him and be in his arms again.
No sooner had the message showed delivered, he was calling. CRAP here we go I guess.
"Hello?"
"We have to talk when you get back." *Click*
'What was that about?' I thought to myself then I remembered, I turned on my jewelry earlier. ...
"Fuck my life." I mutter as I run my hand over my face. I take off the jewelry but leave the recording set to on, no point in it now.
Audio and video were being taken. Knowing Cass they had already transmitted everything to them already. So John and the rest of my team just heard me not only inviting but begging Alex to take me. I crawled deep into the bed ashamed and just filled to the brim with anxiety over what was going through Johns mind. If they heard and saw that, they had to have heard the rest all the way to Celeste. What is wrong with me? How could I have slipped so much in my job, with all my experience?!
Maybe I should have just said to hell with it and taken a nice long sabbatical and just enjoyed the rest of Johns life with him. I should just do it when I get back anyways. I can't risk everything that I have with John just to solve a case that could be handled by other agents and officers. Ones that have their heads together at that cause I sure don't seem to.
I take a breath and grab my phone and open it up and call back.
"hmm?" I hear a curt sound of acknowledgement from his end and nothing else.
"When I get back, I quit, baby. Let's just me and you enjoy life together. We can go travel and do the things we want to. Go back to Norway again." I know I sound desperate and am trying to hang on to a life raft in a hurricane but I have to try.
"Why?" Is all he says and I'm not sure exactly which why he's asking.
"Because all this is not worth it, if I mess things up and lose you, I don't want anything."
"Not that." his voice breaks. I hear noise in the background and can tell he was still in the office and is now walking away from the team.
"Baby...." I can't exactly go into detail and he knows that.
"DO NOT GIVE ME THAT SHIT SIN!" He laughs maniacally through the phone, "My favorite Sin..... SEDUCE, INVEIGLE, NEGATE. It seems you can't really break your old habits of running when an opportunity presents itself can you?!"
'ouch' I clutch my heart.
"No! No, John that's not what I'm doing, you should know me better then that, if that's what I wanted to do it would have been done by now. Please, my love, can we talk about this when I get home?"
"Did you even think of me other then when you slipped my name out by accident? While you seduced that man to touch and then to take you?! You seemed to have a lot of chemistry by your reactions to him. I would know Sin."
"THAT'S NOT FAIR, DO YOU KNOW THE ENTIRE SITUATION?" I say starting to become defensive.
"Yeah I do. I asked a Question Sin, DID YOU EVEN THINK OF ME FOR ONE DAMN SECOND, YOUR HUSBAND, WHILE YOU INVITED THAT MAN TO TOUCH AND KISS YOUR BODY ?! ALL OF THIS WAS HAPPENING WHEN IT WAS NOT NECESSARY?!"
"JOHN, just let's cool down and talk when I get back, please?" I sob out. I am guilty and filled with shame, he's right, I didn't think about it, cause even with the drugs in my system I didn't care. The second I cared enough to think of him is when I slipped his name and took off.
"I'll leave the divorce papers on your office desk at the house."
"John, NO. PLEASE NO." I start to panic.
"Mary, Sin, I love you but I don't think I can do this, you were right before. We should have just ended it all before so many emotions got involved. Maybe then.... it wouldn't hurt so bad."
"JOHN, I LOVE YOU PLEASE!"
*CLICK*
"Dear god what have I done?!" I can't fathom the hurt welling up inside me. It's like I lost every one I've ever known and loved in one fell swoop and even then it's scratching the surface of the hell I've succumbed to.
"No. No. No no no no no no. He wouldn't really do that to me right? He's just mad and needs to calm down. Right? Please text me anything if that is all it is?!" ....1 hr
.....2 hrs
....4 hrs
...The sun is rising and I haven't slept a wink since he hung up on me.
When Darcen and Vllard come in with breakfast and to tidy up, I desperately ask them if they can snap me back home.
They see the despair filled, puffy, bruised and red eyes, evidence that I have not slept and something major was wrong. Them not knowing why, couldn't take that risk.
"We're sorry, Lar has to be the one to take you home and he's busy with Primo and Farel talking to the pinche pendejo downstairs. When they're done though we will let him know you are ready to go home." They give a slight bow and leave.
Wait..they're talking to ORTIZ! The whole damn reason I'm in this fucking mess to begin with?!
I can turn on the strike tacker and end it all.
BUT, I would kill everyone else on this boat. Lar and his brothers, Farel, ...Alex.....
It takes me the whole fraction of a second before I'm putting everything on that I have, jewelry, boots, jacket, hell even perfumes in the pocket.
I look outside and spot where Ortiz and them are talking on the last deck. I go inside and open my phone sending John one last text message.
...
'John, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you and didn't think, I'm sorry I didn't put what should have been my number one priority first, You."
"No apology will ever erase the pain I've caused you, I know that."
"I'm not sorry you fell in love with me, I will cherish every memory of you I have forever, Please go and find the happiness I was not able to give you in this life."
"Since I've lost the only thing that I needed in my life, I'm using this opportunity to take out Ortiz who's here. Without you, I might as well drag this mother fucker to hell with me."
"I love you John, please go find happiness and I do pray you find it."
......
I sent the text and dropped the phone in the toilet and left.
'The Killing Calm' is what the experienced ones refer to the feeling that washes through me. My pain, rage, is all channeled and focused onto one goal.
Every obstacle I come across will be met with deadly accuracy and brutal technique to ensure my victory.
There is no risk of failure, failure is not an option.
I will show no mercy.