"Wait, what the fuck did my mom just say?", I asked the office. I was pacing back and forth and I knew I needed to stop but couldn't find it in me to do so. A random thought crossed my mind seconds later and instantly I stopped pacing.
My mom mentioned something about a seal or branding. "Fuck Asha. Why are you so slow on the uptake today?" I ask myself, frustration seeping through my voice. I was beyond confused right now. Nothing made sense, absolutely nothing.
I was thinking of leaving my mom's office to go to my room when Aunt Maia walked in with a smile. She was always smiling. It's no wonder a damaged child like I was then, could get along with her.
"Asha sit please", she said moving to sit on the couch with me. "I can tell you're a little confused..", "that's an understatement", I said simultaneously. She smiled and continued, "Well maybe I can help with that Hun".
"Maya said she basically skirted around the truth with you", "hmm hmm, then dropped a punchline like she was at a cypher, dumped the mike and walked out leaving me with my imagination to figure out the rest".
"Don't blame her and be nice, she hasn't had a lot of practice relating with that topic. Your father Knox Bane…". "Can we stop saying that please, he just donated his DNA period".
"I get that, anyways he was a Lycan and in lame man terms that is a werewolf. He was just superior to the werewolf because he wasn't subject to the same forceful shift on a full moon. He exceeded that. But he was an impure Lycan. He was born a werewolf, what kind we still don't know, but edited his genes and tampered with so many things to become a Lycan which probably explains the reasons why his gene was dormant in you as a child. When I met you, your Lycan genes had been forced into a dominant state and in less than a year, you would have been a full blown Lycan, with or without your choice in the matter", I was in too much shock to remain standing and immediately sat down.
"Your mom was desperate to undo or at least revoke what was done to you and I told your mom that I could only repress those genes again if she wanted, but undoing it was not possible. She agreed and I did just that".
"Okay, I'm not tryna interrupt you but that makes no sense to me whatsoever, how can you or sorry how were you able to repress my genes, that literally doesn't add up to me at all".
"Be patient Asha, I was getting to that", she said patting my knees gently. "Unlike you, I'm completely human just a little different. I'm a witch". 'Wait, did I just hear her say 'witch' people, wow!!! My whole life has been a lie. Next thing I'll hear is Adam's a vampire'.
"I don't practice much anymore, but then I had just lost the majority of the members of my coven and I knew I didn't want that for myself so I decided to lay low and just work as a help, which is how I was able to meet your mom", she turned to me completely now and a serious look overtook her face like we were just getting to the real deal.
"The spell I used on you Asha, cannot be undone except by a witch from my coven and I don't know any alive. Maya said you can't recall what happened to you?".
"I only remember having a conversation with Xander, the rest is a jumbled mess", I answered gently hating that I was this helpless again. "Come closer", she said. I turned to her and she placed two digits on my temples, I didn't hear anything but her mouth moved and immediately I heard loud sounds in my head, traffic, car horns, children shouting about a game, animals in the forest, it was too much and my head felt like exploding. Then I heard Aunt Maia's voice calmly whispering to me, "focus it's farther than that", and I tried to focus in my mind beyond the sounds, the pain and gradually everything dulled out until I saw his face.
Xander's. We were by the fountain again, only this time I saw everything that happened after, my vision, Natalie, Nixa and her words to me and finally my vision. Immediately, I opened my eyes and looked Aunt Maia dead in the eye and told her, "I remember everything now".
"Then tell me everything and leave nothing out", I did as she said and told her every little thing. Including the vision I had before tearing my room apart.
"Asha I'm going to need you to try and recall the words, this Nixa said to you at the party. The exact words Asha", she instructed gently.
"Surprisingly I think I can", I told her with a smile. It was 'Auribus percipite verba mea et exaudi me voca. Egredimini somno prope tempus adesse et non praeteribut'. "Yeah I think that's exactly what she said or at least its close".
"Can you describe this Nixa for me please", she asked warily making me uncomfortable now. "I think you should be familiar with her description", I said instantly, remembering that Aunt Maia was there the day I narrated my vision of Nixa to Nat.
"Why do you say so?", she asked confused. "Because she was the crazy gal I told you and Nat about the last time". "I only knew of one witch besides myself in my coven who could cast such freewill spells without the aid of any magical object and her name wasn't Nixa but Brassica Scarlett".
"Okay I'm a little lost now, what do you mean by freewill spells and what does that mean for me?", I asked wearily.
"Freewill spells are spells that require no use of any magical object or a conduit as the spell caster is the conduit for the magic and so they only need to speak what they wish to happen using the Latin version of said words. Freewill spells are worse because they are almost impossible to undo even by members of the same coven as it is done of freewill not by the use of prewritten spells. If this Nixa is who I think she is then I fear it's already too late to do anything for you except leave the change to complete its course".
"She had always been my only undoing", she said as an afterthought, "and she was the same for our coven as she was the one who led the coven to its ruins". "I feel so much worse now", I whispered gently to myself, just finally coming to the startling realization that I was screwed.
"Asha I wish I could do more for you", she said gently rubbing my knees, "but it's beyond my powers now, we'll just have to wait and watch", she added with a note of finality.
Man was I fucking pissed now, "why do I have to fucking wait to see my life get fricking screwed up into hades realm", I was up and pacing agitatedly now. "Why me?" I asked no one in particular, "just why the tripping blazes was I born?"
"Asha…", Aunt Maia began gently but I couldn't bear to listen. "Don't bother trying to comfort me, I just would like to be left alone", I whispered and immediately walked out of the room.
I couldn't stay in the house much longer and yet I didn't know where to go, the forest was a little scarier than before and my mind was just spinning beyond my control, for the first time in my life I wish I just fucking blacked out again.
I went to my room to grab my shoes and take a long aimless walk. I was just walking out the house when I was hit with the memories of my earlier vision, and boy did it hurt.
"Ignoring me now uhn, typical Asha move". 'Wait what the fuck is going on here?' "Run away from things that scare you or things you can't explain. Fuck I thought this bitch was grown, I'm gonna kill that witch who woke me up to this immature, ordinary existence called a body".
"You won't do shit Asha, you know why? You're just a scared, little shell of your true being. Yes I said it, don't look at me like that. You might have strength and speed and all that the rest of your human training has delivered you, but you wanna know the truth? You are an undeserving, pathetic excuse for a survivor, when all you want is to hide from the truth even when you know it so clear. And another thing, you can't hurt me because like I said we are one and the same unless you've lost your mind to the point of beating yourself.
Now you can get pissed, mad, whatever the fuck is the mediocre thing you do, that is your business. My time is almost up but I'll leave you with this, if you don't man up as your human folks like to say, you won't have a family anymore, and as for all those mutts you've been moving around with, I guess I can inform you, they'll be raising hell on you when the truth of your past and the reality of who you are, that you so refuse to acknowledge come barging through your front door".
Standing just outside the doors to the mansion I call home, my heart rent and I could feel my world collapsing on itself with all the secrets that have been kept from me all these years. It hurt, the fact that I wasn't wanted by my dad except as an experiment, the fact that the closest one who filled the daddy shoes died trying to save me, the fact that my mom had to endure having a problem child like me all these years, the fact that all I have ever known has been nothing but a lie, the fact that I don't pass out simply because I have shock issues from my past but simply because I'm a failed experiment wringing out of control, the fact that I have been made to suffer all these years just so my so called biological father could have a prodigy, everything fucking hurt and the fact that all that I had tried to deny was nothing but the truth. I was different then but now I'm starting to realize that I'm not just different, I'm the scary kinda different.
With all these realizations came a small voice in my head, 'well it was about time you stopped living in your dreamy bubble'. At that I just broke down and wept, till I had nothing more to cry out and my soul felt empty.