Friday came faster than any of us wanted. I had avoided Nat and the boys all week. Xander on the other hand didn't even bother to show up or give me a call, which was infuriating to say the least.
My dreams had gone from visions, to nightmares that are so real, I wake up confused. I felt pain even when I slept, it was hell. Aunt Maia also loaded me with herbs and all kinds of tea to help with the pain and prepare my body for the shift. The stupid seal on my back, which I finally got to see has been itching like crazy and it keeps getting clearer or should I say stronger each day.
The lines are more prominent and the flames almost look real. I still can't make out the words written on my back and the wolf in the moon is asleep, if that even makes any sense at all.
That was the least of my problems though, because the monster in my head… hmm, hmm… that voice is the devils incarnate. I could almost feel it every time, and it always has something to say. "Fuck!!!!! What a mess".
"Asha what is it", Adam asked immediately he got to my room, breathing like he ran. 'Shit, I probably screamed that out loud'. "I'm sorry", I said apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you like that".
"Oh it's no big deal", he said with a wave of his hand. Walking towards me, he continued, "I know it's been a rough couple of days, but it'll get better". He held my hands and pulled me to the edge of my bed, sitting beside me, all the while trying to assure me that things will be better. If only I could find it in me to believe him.
***Mama's POV***
"Maia, are you sure she'll be okay", I asked worriedly. "She'll be fine", she assured me for the tenth time today. "Stop worrying so much". "I wish I could", I said quietly.
We were out by the patio, whiling away time as we await the full moon which is in less than twelve hours. I have tried to work but couldn't concentrate. The whole thing just feels like it's my fault. I should have done better, should've never let her be known to the world then maybe she could've avoided all the pain she went through in the hands of her father. I shouldn't have focused so much on my career that I let my child end up like this.
So many things I could've done to avoid this and I failed my daughter, my only child. What have I been doing... "Stop overthinking things", Maia interrupted. "I can tell from the look on your face that you're blaming yourself for this", she said perceptively.
"You did what you thought was best for your daughter, and I can assure you, she doesn't blame you for any of this. Everything you did was so you could put a smile on her face and you succeeded in doing that", she affirmed. "Bad people just exist to try to take that away from us".
"Thank you, I don't know what I'd do without your help", I said truthfully. Maia had been a great help in understanding Asha over the years or I might have just given up a long time ago.
"Adam is still with her right", she asked. "Yes", I replied instantly. "He's been trying to get her mind off it. They should be in the gym right now". "That's good", she said shifting a little closer to me and I could immediately tell, something was up.
"What is it?" I asked wearily. "It's nothing", she began. "Asha's seal will open by the end of the night". "What do you mean by open?" I asked. "The wolf in the seal is a physical or astral representation of her wolf and that means when she shifts tonight the eyes of the wolf will open."
"O…kay and that means what for her?" I asked hesitantly. "All her abilities as a Lycan and the she wolf will start to manifest". "Wait, what do you mean by abilities and all that?"
"She is no ordinary wolf and that means she's special and highly valued among her people but it also means that she's a threat to those who want the end of the Lycan and werewolf races. Meaning she could be in danger if she attracts the attention of the wrong people."
"Which brings me to the topic of her mate." "What!!!!" I exclaimed. "I think she has found her mate, though she won't be able to tell the extent of the mate bond till she shifts, but I believe she has come in contact with him."
"Wait no, no, no. I can't allow this", I started fidgeting. "Mate or no mate Asha is…." "Maya calm down. Your mate may have betrayed you but it is never the same with everyone and I can assure you, she needs her mate now more than ever and it's a blessing for us all that she has come in contact with him. He can help her learn how to control her powers and how to tame her abilities", Maia said reassuringly but I couldn't believe her.
"But what if he is exactly the same", I ask worriedly. "I hope not", She said with a smile. "So what happens…" "I'm getting to that", she cut in straightaway. "When her seal becomes complete, it will start glowing. No matter what you use to cover it, magic or not, others will be able to sense her because she will have awoken. I'm hoping my theory is wrong but without the help of her mate, she may not live long. It's only the mate mark that can seal the glow."
"So you mean to tell me that without the mark of her mate she won't be able to hide her identity no matter what we do to help her", I proposed. "Yes", she responded simultaneously. "And that's why you need to ask her, so we can at least know what sort of person he is before we know the next step to take."
"I know this is a lot to take in Maya", she assured me. "I want you to know it's all for Asha's sake". "I know that", I responded gently. "This is just taking a toll on me. After what I experienced with Knox, the idea of her having a mate just after being introduced to this world is scary for me."
"Don't be afraid", she reassured me. "It will be okay". "I hope so", I said hopefully. "Now let's go get her, the moon might not be up for a few more hours but she needs our support if she's to make it through the night". Without having to be told twice, I stood up and with shaky legs went into the house with her. I just wanted this night to be over and done with already.
***Asha's POV***
Adam and I had messed around in the gym all day, then proceeded to watch movies. I could tell he was trying really hard to take my mind off things and I really valued it. My mom and Aunt Maia came by to check on us or on me once in a while too.
I had been laughing all through, after giving myself a little pep talk. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Well I hope I don't die tonight and miraculously just become stronger and more immune to crappy life experiences like this.
Time went by slowly today as if giving me the chance to savor my last day on earth as a human. I tried my best to savor it as much as I could but now reality was back knocking the door harshly like a thief in the night.
I only had one hour left till the rise of the full moon. I had showered, napped, eaten, hydrated and all sorts of things and now I was dressed in yoga pants, a sports bra and a jacket, headed outside to the yard to wait for the shift.
Aunt Maia had sorted things out with Adam, and preparations had been made for me to go on a run after my first shift to strengthen my wolf and our bond. Thank God, we had space as our land was private property and apparently the forest behind the house was a part of that land so I had no worries about someone calling the cops to report seeing a white wolf.
I took the stairs one at a time and strolled through until I got to the yard where my mom, Adam and Aunt Maia had taken the privilege to set up chairs, a blanket, a robe and a cooler. The whole place was lit up, even down to the forest, light bulbs were placed strategically to ensure that one could find their way back. It was heartwarming to see the efforts they put into this and the concern etched on their faces. They had been trying to play it cool all day but with the time so near everyone wore their worries on their faces.
With a smile I wasn't feeling, I strolled right to the empty chair beside my mom and took a seat. When she noticed me, she smiled back and held my hand in hers, massaging it without saying a word. I could feel the love she had for me in that moment and it broke my heart.
I never wanted to put my mom through the same hell I did when I was younger, but it seems that's all I ever do. Make her worry, make her heart ache, cause her pain and endlessly make her afraid, I was a terrible daughter and apparently I still am.
I could feel myself getting antsy and agitated, but I tried to tamp it down. There was no need scaring anyone endlessly before the main deal. A minute later I felt something akin to a heat flash that nearly had me jumping out of my seat, still I endured it. No need for false alarms.
This continued for a few more minutes. I got so focused on enduring the unease, I lost track of time and then the hellish experience began even before the full moon appeared high in the sky.
It started in my hands, pain unlike any I've experienced before in my life ran through my hands as I heard them snap. I screamed unable to hold back anymore and immediately my mom rushed to help me. I could hear Aunt Maia saying something to my mom and Adam but I never got her words as I felt the next pain start up in my toes and then run through my feet as I blacked out.
***Mama's POV***
"Maia please do something", I screamed at her. Asha had just fainted right beside me and we were both on the ground now, her jacket laying on the ground beside me while I hold her to my body as much as I could.
"Maya you will have to let go of her now", Maia said gently. "She will wake up soon. She only passed out because it's her body's first reaction every time she experiences something shocking". "I can't let go of her Maia", I said in tears. "She needs help, I can't", I pleaded.
"I know and she won't get the help she needs with you standing so close to her", she explained. "She needs to do this on her own Maya". I shook my head continuously. "I can't leave my baby girl to go through hell again, no I just can't".
"Adam please make her understand", I heard Maia say to him. He stayed quiet but came closer to pull me away from my child. I fought him with all my might but he was stronger and successfully pulled me to my feet never releasing me even as I screamed and cried for him to. He just held on tighter, shaking his head.
Satisfied that I was no longer close to Asha, Maia moved to her and placed her forefingers on her temples and whispered a few words and suddenly Asha woke up. Her eyes were unfocused and confused as she looked around to try and get a glimpse of her surrounding before she screamed out in pain, louder this time and we all heard the crack that came from her spine.
She continued writhing in pain on her stomach even as her spine kept deforming out of its original state. I had to cover my mouth as I could not hold back my sobs anymore. Tears just kept running out of my eyes no matter how many times I wiped them off. My baby was in pain and I her mother was so useless I could do nothing for her, just like I couldn't do anything for her so many years ago.
Every few seconds or so she got a respite, but would whimper through it all before the next snapping sound and her screams would ring out through the area, painful and heart wrenching. I don't know how long I stood there watching her groan in pain, begging with tears to make it stop, it never did. Instead it just went on.
She endured as more snapping sounds could be heard and the sounds of her clothes ripping off her body. Still her crying surpassed every other sound. I closed my eyes and prayed to God to do something, anything to make this pain stop.
After a few more minutes, I could only hear a small whimper and I opened my eyes and standing before me in Asha's place was a big white wolf, laying on its haunches with its head on its limbs. The wolf had silver eyes and its body almost seemed as if it was glowing under the full moon.
I was beyond nervous but still I took the courage and whispered, "Asha is that you dear?" The wolf turned its head and looked at me fully, tilted its head a little as if to study me then took off into the woods.
Before I could even ask, Adam took off immediately after her, sending me a reassuring smile before disappearing into the woods. I noticed Maia was yet to say anything and turned to ask her when I noticed her eyes were unfocused and she was staring straight ahead.
Walking towards her I shook her and after two to three seconds her eyes refocused and she whispered without looking at me "it's Xander". "What about Xander", I asked. "He's her mate".