You ever get a premonition or a gut feeling about something bad and then it does happen cos you didn't think it was possible? If you've had that then you'd probably understand how scared I'm feeling right now.
The patient was a girl with the bluest of eyes I had ever seen, hair as red as blood with pale skin bruised and battered all over, like no part of her was spared the brutality that was inflicted upon her. She had tears trickling down her eyes so fast it'll put a storm to shame.
Upon setting eyes on her, I felt cold. I felt I was partly responsible for the misfortune that befell her, simply because if I had said anything, just anything at all, maybe someone would have been able to save her. But I didn't say anything cos I was too scared and I just didn't want to give it another thought.
I had been hearing voices for years now, off and on, sometimes taking meds to ensure I don't go insane when it becomes too much to handle, but her screams I dare say was a whole new level for me. I couldn't bear to look at her for too long because her pain was so much you could feel it simply by looking at her. I was drowning in guilt.
I don't know how long I stood staring at her, maybe seconds maybe minutes, who knows. Xander touched me, shaking me briefly by my shoulders, to bring me out of my thoughts. He had a questioning look on his face, which I replied by shaking my head, letting him know that I was fine.
I was about to walk away from the covered area when her eyes met mine and I froze. Something in her eyes kept beckoning me to walk towards her, I guess it was her tears or her pain or the fact that she was looking at me like she knows my every thought. Whatever it was, only propelled me further till I took hold of her frail hand and held it in both of mine, wishing with everything in me that I could just help ease her pain.
I was still looking at her when I noticed her tears slowing down, same as her breathing before suddenly she just heaved a sigh, that sounded like a sigh of relief and then she closed her eyes. I kept holding onto her hand until the nurse said she was done and we had to leave to let her rest.
Reluctantly I let go of her hand and walked out of the area, leaving the nurse behind to make some final checks on the girl before joining us in the main area of the clinic. She said her thanks to all of us for our help before giving me a checkup per Xander's request and confirming I was fine she let us go, well let me go but called Xander back to speak with him privately. About what? I have no idea and I'm not all too interested, I just want this day to be over.
Two minutes later Xander came out of the clinic and we both walked towards my locker without saying a word to each other. I packed my things stuffed them in my bag, ready to bail school again.
"You know you should stop making that your go to option every single time", Xander said suddenly. At this I turned, surprise that he actually said something to me didn't give me enough time to think of a suitable reply before I defensively answered and said, "Make what my go to option?"
"Oh you know exactly what I mean". He stated as a matter of fact. He just stared at me for a few seconds as if tryna gauge my thoughts and actions before he continued by saying, "you always running, I mean is that like the only solution you know for every situation you come across. Since I've met you, that's all you seem to do".
"What? That is definitely not true", I said defensively inching away from my locker at this point and subconsciously moving closer to him.
"Deny it all you want but it's the truth. You did that in the calculus class first then you did it again at the cafeteria and then at the gym and that's just the first day. Need I go on...." He left that sentence hanging knowing well enough that I got his intent loud and clear.
"Well if that's what you think then I won't try to change your mind but I will say this, you don't know me neither do you know the half of what I've been through to get here so don't go making assumptions okay".
"I'm not making assumptions here, I'm only giving you the results of an observation but like you said I don't know you or what you've been through I can only say I know what I've seen and it's pretty obvious, but at the end of the day it's your business".
"Our paths are different, class is this way", he said pointing to his right "the parking lot is that way", pointing the opposite way. "Good luck". With that said he turned and walked away leaving me staring after him again.
I really want to do something else other than run every time but it never works out or end well. I turned towards the direction he left to one last time before turning the opposite way and heading for the parking lot.
People have always thought of me as a coward. Someone who's always running from her situations because she's not strong enough or bold enough to confront them. But they don't know, they haven't experienced the hell I've been through, none of them have ever cared enough to find out what makes me so jittery around people, the reason I can never plant roots anywhere the reason my home is always on the move, nobody not even one has ever tried to understand and they all think that with just a few details they can guess or even express their own opinions about my life? Well they're all wrong.
A few steps later and I'm standing by my car. Thank goodness I didn't let my mom talk me out of bringing it today. My car was a beast, a silver rimmed sleek Audi Q series, painted all black with neon grey by the sides. A gift my mom had given me for my birthday last year.
I opened the door to the driver's side dumped my bag on the next seat and was about to get in when someone screamed my name. No kidding screamed my name.
I turned back a little nervous only to find Nat fuming by the schools entrance. Okay now what has got her mad, I thought to myself.
She took large and angry steps towards me all the while ranting to herself about what? Only she knows. Finally standing right in front of me, breathing uneven she said angrily, "I thought we agreed you were coming for the tryouts, and then X just tells me you're leaving without telling me anything. Come on Asha I know you said you were not all that interested but you should at least try for my sake and Canaan's if I may add".
"Nat I am really sorry, it's just this day could not get any better trust me. Staying behind at this point will only worsen things. It totally skipped my mind, if not I would've informed you before leaving and for that I'm really sorry".
She only pretended to consider my words before turning on me. "Well I'll only forgive you if you come for tryouts". "Nat come on please", I begged earnestly. "Please don't force this on me".
"I'm not forcing you Ash you'll love it. Now come on lets go". Without another thought or glance my way Nat just pulled me along with her.
****Thirty minutes later
Cheer leading tryout was a beautiful disaster. In a few minutes of arriving the gym, I had successfully embarrassed the captain and her clique of friends, made the team, made a few frenemies and somehow with all that, made Natalie proud. Impressive right?
In case you're wondering how all that happened, let me brief you real quick.
When Nat and I got to the gym, she was queried because apparently she dashed out in the middle of practice to come find me without informing the captain, a girl with a slim but fit body, platinum blonde hair reaching her shoulders in waves, green eyes and a malicious smile, dressed in the cheer uniform, whose name I can't remember for the life of me. Nat being Nat hadn't taken that on a light note and I had to step in to avoid a fight breaking out because of me. Then the tryouts commenced.
We were asked to do a few steps, flips and the basics. Good news, they were all simple moves for me, bad news I stood out because of that. I literally couldn't flop one move even if I wanted to, it was ingrained in me. The captain wasn't all too pleased with the idea of someone that good not being in her clique, so she asked me to join her group of posies which I politely declined and there came my problem.
Since I had refused her, she was hell bent on getting me with her and so she pretended to not be affected by my refusal and practice started after the elimination of all those who didn't make the cut. She ran everyone hard trying to find a weakness she could use against me which only backfired as her posies began to flop some of the moves. Nat kept smiling through all this, which I truly didn't understand.
After about fifteen minutes of gruesome practice, one of the captain's posies, Molly I think told the captain to give the practice a rest, which only resulted in her getting harassed. I would've just observed beside Nat but I don't know what spirit possessed me from hell. Next thing I knew, I was standing up for Molly against the cheer captain.
Some words were exchanged and let's just say I challenged the captain and I won the challenge fair and square. So Molly took a liking to me, the captain took an enhanced hatred, the squad fell in love and Natalie was on a pride high. I did pretty well for someone who wasn't interested in coming didn't I?
Now, practice was over and Nat was walking me back to my car so I could go home. I finally got my heart desire, but something was still bugging me.
"Quick question Nat", I said halting our stride to the parking lot a few steps away from the school doors. "Yeah", she replied turning to face me while still smiling, which was really starting to creep me out.
"Okay first you have gotta stop that", I said pointing to her face, to which she just gave me a look of ignorance I'm not buying. "Then second, what is with that wicked, evil smile you've had on since practice earlier".
At this she burst out, full on laughing, making me consider my option of having her as a friend. "This may sound crazy to you", she said mid laughter struggling to keep her words straight. "But I tell you this, you have just opened up the doors to a new era in the cheer squad and that happened in just two days of you being around here. Seriously I can't wait for the other surprises I get to experience with you".
"Okay now I'm confused. I thought you wanted me to be on the team so I could make friends or... I don't even get this anymore", I said running my fingers through my hair.
"Oh I wanted you to be on the squad so it would be easier for you around here, but you completely blew my mind when you not only put my ridiculous step sister in her place but also stood up for Molly. Like I knew you were bad ass but that was just a whole other level of savage. Coming from me sweetheart that is a compliment so don't stand there looking like you ate algae".
"I don't understand how tha….." It took me a few seconds to completely digest everything she said before my mind clicked on that very key info I almost skipped. "Wait a freaking minute, did you say step sister… as in you live with her and share blood with at least one parent or what exactly?"
"Sad and incorrect", she said with a small smile. "We don't share blood, I wouldn't be able to survive if I was blood related to that wench. My dad married her mom when we were five after I lost my mom and we've lived together ever since".
"Wow, that's insane. But you both don't act like you're even neighbors talk more of family".
"Yeah we've never been able to get along and trust me I'm almost a hundred percent sure that's never going to change. Now come on enough weird talk, let's go", she said smiling while walking ahead giving me a choice to follow this time.
Somewhere in my mind, I fell in love with her more. She's strong is all that crossed my mind as I smiled and ran after her to my car.