Chapter 34
viLelouch's POV
The hours spent rummaging her closet until she settled for one were more than her usuals.
'Oh Alexa'
'hahaha'
"Why am I even trying to look good for her?"
She was complaining and complaining even knowing exactly why.
Amidst her annoyance to herself, she stopped a moment when passing the mirror.
She stared at them, right through the orbs that held so much sadness, that had no life.
She has been broken, had known hardships, and had lost herself.
She was aware of it all— but still let herself to drown in emptiness despite Alpha Hanz and Luna Rachel's unconditional love for her, despite the genuine concern of others around her, and despite the annoying voice of her bestfriend, Carmen.
She had chosen to be sad, to be lonely, to be eaten by guilt. It was her way of dealing her loss, of taking responsibility— responsibility for the death of the most amazing man on earth and the loveliest woman who conceived her.
"I killed them—," she whispered.
Her eyes flickered, her wolf responded.
"How about we burry that away and start living?"
Was she dead?
'yeah'
She was alive yet dead.
"We went through hell and become what we are today, but we are not just made of a tragic yesterdays Alexa."
"There's more to us, and we have a future to look forward now; a future with our mate."
'mate'
The word resonated on Alexa's.
"Isn't that enough reason for living?"
There was silence, and despite the convincing words of Reika, Alexa remained silent, staring right at herself.
"I miss your smile, my old friend's smile."
'What smile?'
A memory resurfaced, there flashed the crying face of Carmen.
It was back then when the girl could not take anymore the drastic change in Alexa after the incident. It was back then when Carmen poured out all her worries and concerns of what was becoming of her friend— an empty barrel.
"I will shave my hair to bald the moment I see that smile again," Carmen was sobbing, wiping her tears along.
"You know how I love my hair."
"I am that willing, so please come back Ali."
She was ugly when she cries as Alexa described her but she paid no mind, because losing a dear friend is worst than looking ugly.
The memory of a sobbing Carmen curved up a smile to Alexa.
'yeah'
She smiled—
That smile that has long been gone.
Seeing her own reflection, Reika shed a single tear of joy in a long time.
[********************]
Alexa rested her forehead on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly at the same time. She has been there for a moment but unmoving.
She was anxious—
She was so anxious of her date with Lou that she still had not taken that one turn ahead and honk the horn on the packhouse's front door then get on with their date.
'hahaha'
She was in love—
She finally acknowledged that but had difficulty to act on it.
She was in complete control at first, but not even long, she found herself spinning, tumbling and drowning into Louchie's whole being.
These past days spent with her mate, even with her cold and deadpan responses, Lou manage to torn her walls down and lit a fire in her very soul.
Every second with Louchie gradually fills the emptiness within her.
She felt quickened, rekindled and alive once again—
She felt loved in a way that is beyond description and most— she was happy than ever before.
Alexa Rohan, she—
She had fallen in love to the point of no return.
'la la la'