Cerian
I watched uninterestedly as the colorful fireworks lit up the cold wintery night sky and bursting into little sparks of blue,pink and green as it faded. To me,it was just another simple fireworks display whereas for millions across the globe it was to mark the start of yet another year.
Another firework ascended into the sky and I scoffed at the golden display of Happy 2019 as it disintegrated. That was what everyone would say as the year came to an end.
Happy new year.
Sadly the happy only lasted during the countdown for most people and during the long run life will be back to normal. Everyone's struggling to pay bills.
The news exposing corrupt, politicians , unexplained murder cases and every shit life has to throw. Lucky them, at least they got a chance to celebrate.
Then there's people like me, the one's who constantly have a cloud looming over their heads and they can't even remember what being happy feels like. Not even during the New Year count down but unlike most people in the world, I didn't have bills to think about.
Not because I was filthy rich for a twenty two year old boy but mainly because I didn't have future plans to see how the year goes.
My plans were different and after paying for my drinks at the club I decided to take off, drive out of town to a place I found a few months ago.
After making sure I wasn't being followed, I got out of my car and followed a narrow winded path that led to a forest. It always scared me how the trees looked at night, like shadows from a nightmare with long claws just waiting to capture anyone walking by while during the day they looked like some piece of art so welcoming and beautiful.
From a distance I could hear the familiar woosh of water falling into a river and I knew I was getting close to the bridge. I sunk my almost frozen hands deep into my pockets and quickened my pace because let's be real guys. Walking alone in a dense forest can get creepy, there's probably some psycho waiting to kill me out here or worse, I could end up in the jaws of a wolf .
After a few minutes, I made it to the familiar old creaky wooden bridge. I leaned on the rails and watched as the river slithered below ,violently hitting the rocks that stood on it's path as it made it's way down the hills.
A fall into the violent water would be a fall into one's own grave. Only one out of ten people were thought to have survived the wild river which means my chances of dying are very high and that's what makes my new year's eve happy.
Without much thought, I climbed over the rails, standing at the edge of the bridge, my eyes locked on the grey water and for some reason my heart was racing wildly,my palms were sweaty and eyes misty.
For some reason I was scared.
I'm sure everyone who wants to end their lives get scared (terrified), since it never is an easy process, think about getting suspended on a rope and the air is slowly squeezed out of you you feel like you are going to explode.
Think about sitting helplessly in a bathtub bleeding out or putting a bullet to your head. Think about jumping into a deep river and you don't even know how to swim.
That's me.
With my heart in my hand, I tightly shut my eyes, mentally doing a count down as I braced myself for my last jump. My knees were bent to absorb all the energy I needed to leap from the bridge.
Ten...
Nine...
Eight...
Seven...
Six.....
Five...
Four....
Th-.
I was at three when I heard a panicked voice, "Don't! Please!" At first I thought it was just the voice inside my head chickening out at the last minute, I'll just ignore it. "Please! I know you think this is the best option and that things will get better but its not,"
The voice wasn't of the guy living inside my head, so I peeked one eye open and looked to my left (direction of the voice) then both my eyes opened. The man was tall, about my age, African American nothing mind blowing except that he was on my bridge,yeah it's mine since I've never seen a single soul come here , well up until now.
His hands were stretched out to me, horror flashing brightly on his face , right foot pressed forward ready to pounce at me in case I jump (which I am)
"Look you don't have to do this,your life is worth more than this," I wanted to laugh, what does he know about my life.
"What's your problem? You don't know about me nor my life and fuck! Stop moving closer to me or I'll jump!"
Wasn't that my plan from the start? I had no idea why I was threatening the guy but at least he stopped trying to walk towards me.
"There's someone on his death bed right now and he's fighting with every last bit of strength, he's fighting to live another day, just for a day," He said, voice shaky like he wanted to cry, "Someone else is trapped on a storm in the middle of the ocean and despite the fact that the waves are going to fucking swallow him whole,he's still trying to Stay alive."
The idiot was trying to guilt trip me telling me about everyone trying to work through their issues and fight for their lives.
"Those guys...the ones you mentioned,they've got something worth fighting for." I swallowed, " I got nothing, I've got no one,"
Sure,I had a million fans all around the globe,but I was dead sure,my passing won't really mean anything to most of them. They will move on, I will be replaced and things will be normal,like I was never even there. My name in the entertainment industry isn't as big as Marilyn Monroe , Elvis Paisley Michael Jackson or even Prince. I was just another twenty two year old musician. Nothing more.
"You have me," The guy said,stepping forward and I looked at him like he was crazy, my eyes turning to saucers when the idiot climbed over the rails and stood next to me. "What are you doing?"
"Changing your mind," He stated then looked at the rushing water beneath our feet. "It's a long fall down there and to think I'm afraid of heights. " He turned to me," Do the countdown , we'll jump, God Drey will knock my teeth out if I make it to the other side,"
There was something definitely wrong with this guy, he shut his eyes waiting for me to proceed with the countdown, "Well,this is me being stupid,"
....
The idiot jumped, but I was fast enough to catch him mid-air while I held onto the wooden rail so we both don't end up falling.
"Hold on.." I hissed tightening my grip around his palm,my hands were getting sweaty and he looked beyond terrified.
Gathering all the energy I had , I pulled him up and when we both got our footing , we both climbed up to the safe side trying to catch our breaths,
"What the hell is that!" I hissed after a minute," Who the hell just jumps from a bridge?"
"I slipped," He answered nonchalantly.
"You on the other hand were more than willing, I think you should thank me for saving your life,"
What! Who was the one dangling from a bridge?" I pointed, "I saved you,"
He shot me a sheepish smile and got up, "By saving my life, I saved yours, besides if you really wanted to jump off that bridge go ahead, I won't stop you this time,"
After saying that he disappeared back into the dense forest from where he came from.
I remained sitting on the grassy snowy ground, eyes fixated on the bridge and for some reason, I didn't want to jump anymore.
Guess he saved my life.