*Tessa*
* Knock , knock *
" Honey! Downstairs ! I'm waiting for you!" Dad almost yelled in front of my room's door.
" Fine! I'll just get dressed " I yelled, stretching .
I went up, yawning and washed my face until it hit me,
Hold on !
Did he forget about my seventeenth birthday ?!
He never did though!
I grabbed my old sweatpants and a shirt .
Put them on.
Brushed my teeth .
Went back to my room - forgetting why I was there in the first place - Then , I went downstairs.
I found my dad wearing a decent black suit .
He had a big cake in front of him , on the table.
Of course!
He didn't forget.
" Dad ! You really didn't have to do all of that for me " I told him with a smile on my face .
" Are you kidding me !? My sweetie pie is growing up , of course I did all of this for you "
He answered excitedly.
" Dad , honestly , how many times am I going to tell you to stop calling me sweetie pie !? I'm seventeen now ! Not seven ! " I laughed at dad for the millionth time .
" Ya , ya . Whatever " dad teased me .
" I'll go grab a knife " I said with a wide smile.
" for the cake ? Or to teach me a lesson? " dad laughed .
" My god dad ! for the cake dad! for the cake !" I joined his laughter .
" Tessa ? Are you trying to say that you are going to celebrate your seventeenth birth day with THAT !!?? " Dad said pointing at my old sweatpants
" Judgy much? " I joked, but then the look he gave me made me swallow back my words.
" Fine , I'll go grab a ' nicer ' shirt and - " dad interrupted .
" nope sweetie pie , I already got you a little ' something ' . Hold on . Stay here "
He ran to his room upstairs . A minute later , dad was back - and yes exactly a minute, I started counting out of boredom- with his hands behind his back .
" Close your eyes " He whispered .
I did .
" Open "
I opened my eyes to the most stunning red dress I have ever seen .
" oh - my - god " I said shockingly , eyes wide open .
" It once belonged to your mom when she was approximately your age " dad said as a tear fell down his cheek .
"When I first met her , she was wearing it . she looked so ... breath taking . "
He stopped . He wasn't done though . I knew that he wanted to say something else , but he just ...couldn't .
Finally , he continued .
"It just felt like, you wearing it now, might bring back everything Jessica and I had. It would feel like one hell of a throwback"
Silence filled the room .
I came closer to dad , hugged him .
Although I was the one needing this hug.
I needed someone to tell ' it'll be okay ' .
It was never about ME .
About what I wanted .
About whether I felt terrible or not .
He never asked
Did I miss mom as well? Did I not? Did it even matter?
Never.
I just think this is who he is .
Who he'll always be.
I couldn't change it .
I couldn't change him maybe because I didn't want to or maybe just because i .... couldn't .
" it's gonna be okay , dad . I'll be more than happy to wear it "
I grabbed the dress from dad's hand and went up to my room to put it on .
I never wore such a fancy dress since mom died .
After my mom's death I felt worthless without her.
I just knew it deep inside that it was absolutely useless to exist anymore .
I didn't know what my purpose in life was anymore .
Yes, did attempt to take my life away .
After dad saved me I started to believe in miracles.
I used to hate on myself everyday .
I stood in front of my mirror everyday , saying that i wasn't good enough,
that I was worthless
At that point I thought no one actually cared about me , and that I didn't mean anything to anyone.
I tried to take pills , when dad wasn't at home , but luckily for me he came back early and I freaked out and dropped them. I never took the pills in the first place .
He ,until now, doesn't know that I wanted to take away my soul .
Actually after my almost suicidal attempt , this was when I started feeling ..... alive .
Ironic, isn't it?
I was done wearing the dress . I looked at myself in the mirror.
knowing that this dress once belonged to mom , made her spirit go entirely through my veins.
I went downstairs .
There was a look of shock on dad's face .
" God! you look Stunning "
" Well thank you David Irwin " I joked, flipping my hair.
Here we go again.
Another birthday without mom, another year without her voice, another year with dad and I being as close as we are, I didn't mind it. In fact, I loved him. Let's just say, it's not the life I imagined having